To get married with a newborn

Whoops zombie thread... and I already posted on here 😂

I did it and it was wonderful! My whole life changed in 3 weeks: I moved house, a day later I gave birth, 1 week later I went to a friends wedding with baby, week after that I got married! It was all whirlwind and tiring but it was perfect.

I would advise buying a second maternity style dress for the evening ( I bought a pink lace one from Tiffany rose) it helped with feeding. Had a room at the venue which greatly helped and a huge number of willing baby sitters! The photos were so beautiful.

The only thing we didn't do was a honeymoon- still waiting on that! 3 years down the line I have happy memories.

Only thing I would say is I was induced, I suppose it would have been difficult if I had been guessing the day! Also I had big pants on (the tena sanitary ones) and I was a little sore but it didn't stop me from having a great time x

Gawjuss! I luv the high necked wedding dress and tiara 😍.

My little one was about 3 months old when we got married. My three year old DD and SD were flower girls, and my 4 year old son was a ring bearer. My oldest stepson walked me down the aisle, and my youngest stepson, although too shy to participate, was heavily involved in the wedding planning. It was a lovely wedding. We have some lovely pictures of us all, including the newborn. Go for it, and good luck!😉

Absolutely no way! I'd move it. My first was 16 days late and I had an emergency cesarean. On your time frame I hadn't really got the hang of breastfeeding and could barely move! It's not just the ceremony, there's a lot of planning organising and doing stuff in the run up and if you are barely mobile that would be a nightmare! It's hard enough with 2 young children

Edit: of course being married is the main thing, I meant is being married immediately more important than waiting so you can celebrate it at a more convenient time.

@Dustpanandbrush I read this and first thought was Noooo, don't do it. However, having read your subsequent posts maybe it is a good decision for you. I say this as someone who wished they savoured her wedding day for when her 18 month old was a bit older. I felt like I rushed it and although happy to be married for well over a decade now, I wish I'd made better decisions and felt like more of a bride than a frazzled mum on my wedding day.

First ask yourself....
Is the wedding itself a really important to you, or is being married the main thing? You are going to have to be really easy going with a lot of things, you say you're not really worried about the wedding prep etc so I guess the fine details aren't really a huge consideration and you're ok with being flexible about the dress, the prep and general the aesthetic side of things?

You could be physically in great shape but are you ok with potentially bleeding and changing maternity pads all day, recovering from potential stitches and other physical side affects of birth can be unpleasant? Also, you'll likely be very tired with a newborn. Again, it doesn't mean it's impossible but you're not going to feel your very best and you will still be feeding and potentially bleeding.

If it really is all about the celebration and coming together of loved ones and you are wanting it to be low key and fuss free, then I don't think you are mad but if you are paying a fortune and want this to be a stand out day to remember, I'd consider putting it off and having it to look forward to at a time when it can be all about the wedding and celebrating you and your husband as inevitably you will be feeding and being mum all day, even with a babysitter you will be significantly less present than most brides would hope to be on their special day.

Only you know but if you truly are just wanting to be married and a low key party then it sounds perfect for you.

PP is right. If you’re planning on taking a career break for maternity leave and/or to work part time, and you’re not the main earner, you are putting yourself at financial risk by not being married. Do it sooner rather than later. Read one of the many threads on Relationships from women whose partners have left them with nothing to find out why.

I do understand it would feel so disappointing to postpone, but I think this would be quite mad.

My baby was a brilliant sleeper from birth and established breastfeeding relatively easily, but this would have very tough.

I had an emergency c section with a very good and easy recovery, but 2 weeks after birth I could only walk for about 30mins before needing a 2 hour nap. At 6 weeks I was just starting to cycle but my scar would ache after a 20 min cycle and I'd be shattered. And that's with a good recovery! I have friends who were still in agony at 6 weeks.

A PP mentioned the germ exposure for your newborn which is certainly something to thing about, especially in winter.

There you go. I'm due for a name change anyway 🤣

We got married with a 3 month old and a 3 year old. We planned as much of the wedding as possible before the birth. It was all absolutely fine and a lovely day. Having a sleepy newborn that could be passed around was much easier than an older baby I would say! I did have to take the baby away a few times to breastfeed because I had to get half undressed but apart from that it was all good!

I did this!
My baby was 3 weeks old when we got married. It was lovely, I'm a very laid back person though. We had a small wedding and meal just for close family and friends then 100 at the night do (yep, another mn sin).
I didn't have a babysitter I just passed her round in between looking after her between the 2 of us.

I did have a room in the hotel to take her to when needed but apart from a feed and change we didn't use it.
I'd say do as much prep beforehand (making wedding favours while in labour was a challenge) and keep it relaxed.
I'll try to find a photo.

I think it depends whether the big day is really important to you or whether you’re happy just getting married, if that makes sense.

I certainly couldn’t have coped with a big party (but we had a pretty shitty birth) but I could have done a registry office with parents and best mates and then gone for lunch. You could have the party later!

Noooo! If you had easy delivery and can only remember sleep from newborn stage (even if challenging in other ways) - not to be gloomy but it sounds like you had a very easy ride.

My firstborn was colicky and screamed endlessly, I barely slept. My second born slept well but episiotomy recovery was not straightforward and I got constipation-related anal fissures that were agony. You also have to contend with how firstborn responds to baby - the early weeks and months were hard and raw and emotional.

Maybe have a registry office wedding well before due date then a big bash when baby is one or so?

I did it at 2 months old. It was fine. He was an angel baby though.

I did this, but it was my first baby. Picture perfect delivery. Everything went very smoothly.

However… baby was absolutely the focus of the day and it was very hard working around cluster feeding in the evening. Had guests complaining that we hadn’t cut the cake yet etc. Husband and I have very few memories of the day as we were very much in a sleep deprived state, and shopping for a wedding dress at 4 weeks post partum was depressing!

If I could do it all again, I’d have delayed.

Another thing to bear in mind… it worked well with my first child as that birth was straightforward, but would have been impossible with my second, who was an emergency section. There were all sorts of complications. It’s worth thinking carefully about.

Just reread, 6 weeks later, that's fine

Don't want to state the obvious but not all babies arrive on time!

Personally I was fit and able straight away afterwards, that's not necessarily an issue, more you could be in labour!

I wouldn't do it. Too many unknowns. Also feeding / sleep deprivation.

@canttellyouwhereorwhatido Why does it matter so much if you have planned the wedding when baby is more of a toddler? Hubby and I had a baby before we married as at 39 and 45 we weren't getting any younger (and had already met later in life).
We married when our daughter was 18 months and tbh wouldn't have wanted to do so when she was any younger than that really.

I went to a wedding where the bride had a 3 week old once. It was lovely. Not what they’d planned but they had a fabulous time!