Should I report a whatsapp group to my son’s school ?

The problem with this is that so much stuff that happens on social media has a direct impact on the kids. They bring it into school and it affects them at school. So it does often have a direct impact on their learning.

if the school didn’t deal with it then they would be accused of neglecting safeguarding (rightly so)

The problem with not allowing WhatsApp (which I didn’t, at the start of Y7) was that my DC missed out on meeting train friends, drama rehearsals and social events. None of the other 11yos could be bothered to remember to text them separately when everything was done through the WhatsApp group.

So while I am strict and they have no other social media and very locked down phones, I’ve made an exception for WhatsApp because it was demonstrably causing problems for them not to have it.

They have it on the setting where they have to agree to join groups and, while they have seen some nasty behaviour, they’ve been able to tell us and we’ve talked about not joining big groups and just using it for small groups like train friends and birthday parties. I suspect that’s how the OP might want to handle it - it’s the big groups that get out of hand.

For those of you confused about why kids are using it - it's just another method of texting. Simple as that.

It really isn’t.
It’s this type of naivety that causes these issues to happen.

WhatsApp groups are NOT AT ALL the same as text messaging, and are far, far more open to abuse.

Interestingly OP is considering complaining and her DP is against. A bit of anecdote to justify the OP's use of the term.

Only last night we watched on BBC iplayer - on the series 'Forensics:the real CSI' (Series 3, episode 4) - a documentary showing how the police had caught a paedophile who groomed girls online and then raped them. One was 12 years old.

Mobile phones are dangerous in the hands of children. I hear so often parents saying they've given their child one "for their safety". I urge everyone to watch this programme.

@TinnitusEar you really didn't need to quote the whole of the OP to say something which has already been said at least 20 times on this thread.

Irresponsible children but more importantly irresponsible parents

I think you should go to the school.

This isn't about the teachers singling out Molly and Ben who are the ringleaders and using inappropriate memes - it's about them having an assembly about internet safety for the Y7 contingent, letting them know that ANYTHING they put out there is never going away, and that they shouldn't share anything they wouldn't be comfortable with their nanny seeing (as I put it to mine). They also might go ahead with a parent meeting for something similar - I know they did this at my son's former Primary school when the WhatsApp groups were getting out of hand (although seriously, some of the shit they were putting up with instead of just deleting the app and telling their own children 'no' was ridiculous.

For those of you confused about why kids are using it - it's just another method of texting. Simple as that. It has an age limit because of GDPR and the end to end encryption - but let's be real here, if you're not monitoring your tween usage of their phone, they can be sending and receiving the same stuff via the built in text messaging service.

Keep your parental controls tight and have regular conversations about keeping safe and how they do not 'owe' anyone the right to have them in a group text situation.

Please don't perpetuate the use of the name Karen as an insult. You are an adult.

Well if there are only two black boys in the class, then it must have been sent by one of their classmates in their own school.

Personally I don’t know what the school can do other than say they will look into it. The truth is they simply can’t prevent this from re occurring regardless of what they say and do. But they can stop using seesaw. And you can prevent this by removing his phone so he isn’t exposed to it. He can use yours for contacting family or just email them? He can use a tablet or laptop to access SeeSaw. A phone can’t be the best device to upload and view work anyway.

What a complete mess caused by allowing irresponsible children to have phones.

My friend saw her son trying to hang himself due to phone bullying. He was twelve years old.

When I was at school I remember the things being shared were p*n including animal p*n. I didnt even have a phone but you get shown it on everyone else's.

Children shouldn't be on WhatsApp under 16 due to the end to end encryption!
If it is being used inappropriately then it should be flagged up with the school. There is so much teaching regarding correct use of the internet/online etc that direct examples of misuse can be helpfully used as part of youngsters learning.

Report it to the school

Remove Whatsapp from his phone, he does NOT need it to talk to relatives, he can use other means, or use your account to talk to them

Kids that age are wild and peer pressure is really strong. When I was that age, the girls (12 year olds) were filming themselves doing sexual things even one boy had his video leaked around the school and everyone made fun of him saying he was ‘small’ it’s horrible. Definitely report it, the n word is what really shocks me. Im really shocked but not surprised at the same time. I grew up with the exact same thing and now everyone my age has mental health issues

I would archive the chat and encourage your son not to read or reply in there.

Kids shouldn't be on WhatsApp or social media and for good reason.

Yes report. There are also settings in WhatsApp that you can use to control who can add you to groups. For example can be restricted only to someone who is in your contacts.

I only found this out recently and it's been useful.

Please don’t use the misogynistic term Karen. Kind of lowering yourself towards their level there OP.

I would tell the school, but in person not electronically, as you might be committing some sort of offence sending screenshots electronically.

Agree with this.

I find it shocking that we are so accepting of phones and social media use for kids. We are normalising online bullying for this generation as just a part of owning a mobile phone.

For what it’s worth, I know early teens who have a brick phone but access to WhatsApp via a parents phone only