AIBU to think we are currently raising the most dull generation yet??

Your primary aged children are struggling to communicate with kids their own age because the other kids have no hobbies….?

Agree with a lot of this. I work in a private secondary and I wouldn't say doing lots of scheduled activities= having lots of interests or being particularly interesting. Lots of our pupils are scheduled up to the gills, but they've often had very little say in this, and it's partly to free up time for the parents. The kids who seem most switched on/ find it easier to talk to adults/ have their own passions aren't usually the same ones who are playing multiple fixtures on Saturday and practice two evenings a week.

But I would partially agree something a bit concerning is filtering up in the younger years about online use. I played a video of a poem being read to Year 7, and stopped when it ended- they all audibly gasped and apparently it was because I cut the voice off when it was saying "Like and Susbcribe". A lot of them seem to get a huge proportion of their "culture" in broadest terms from YouTube. They joke about Andrew Tate and use the "red pill" etc language. And lots have very short attention spans, to the extent that they are shouting out "what are we doing today?" while I'm explaining what they are doing. Also just getting up and walking around the classroom, which is a very "primary school" thing to do. I haven't experienced these things with Year 7 before. But this may well be the Covid hangover, too.

I'm quite anti-technology for young children though- these things are literally designed to rewire your brain and make you addicted (even interfaces for things like email and messengers are "gamified" to make you refresh them or stay on the app) which a lot of parents must know but choose to ignore - I do think it's utter laziness to give very young children ipads etc - better to even let them cry with boredom sometimes.

I’m more concerned the next generation have no coping skills or resilience. A lot of them will make terrible employees, I can’t believe how many teens I come across who don’t have jobs.

I'm surprised that you're surrounded by children that have no hobbies, if your children are taking part in hobbies you'd have thought that you'd be mixing with other children that have hobbies and interests at these times

I work in a primary school, and most of the kids do sport outside school. Lots of them enjoy art and drawing. Some of the boys spend too much time playing games to the exclusion of most other things.
Some of the children complain about being over scheduled, so not enough time to relax. If they are in wraparound care before and after school and have an activity or 2 at the weekend, it doesn't leave a lot of spare time.
It's also the case that they have a lot less personal freedom than I had the same age in terms of going out, even to the park, by themselves, so it's not surprising that that they communicate with their friends via SM.
I do think parents, teachers and the adults in their lives should be trying to introduce them to new ideas and hobbies, and support interests. Take them to the library, or chess club or choir, invite friends over for board game sessions, draw with them, show them how to make things. It's hard for them to develop their own interests if they don't see adults around them doing things other than playing with their phone or working.

Definitely some children as you describe in my child’s class. They seem to be growing up at the very lower-end of the socioeconomic spectrum. I presume money is a main issue. However, most children seem to be doing a lot of extracurricular: swimming, dance, cubs, gymnastics, football, tennis… these are ‘working class’ families and they are doing their darnedest to raise well-rounded children. My daughter only does two activities as I was an over-scheduled child, and I believe children need downtime.

I disagree. I'm a secondary teacher and have one child in primary. Yes, it is concerning that some children spend far too much time gaming but there are plenty of children with lots of interests. I would imagine one reason for any decline would be more than a decade of austerity and rising costs of living. Funding kids activities is very expensive and many people simply can't afford it. We spend just short of £200 a month on music lessons, swimming coaching and gymnastics. We are privileged to be able to afford this but I know many people can't.

I wonder whether partly parents have seen the light. A decade ago I remember family members doing insane amounts of after school activities with their kids. All scheduled to an inch of its life and utterly exhausting for everyone. I don't think that's necessary. What I do think is a shame, is that kids don't get to hang out much just playing and messing about. Some of that is now online, so I'd rather they had that than nothing.

I don't think screens for very young children are great especially if their parents dot interact enough with them.

My dc in y8 and the behavioural problems are horrendous. I think that's the covid impact. Those developmental years were so important.i think mine was y4/y5. 🤔

Yeah, I must admit that this was my first thought. If they're finding it hard to communicate with other kids, they clearly need some help with their social skills.

Just keep giving DC the iPad while out and about.... it's all there, no need to engage in the wider world!
Seriously, I think if parents engage less with very young DC then they in turn will engage less with other people.
I had this discussion with DD (19) the other day about the difference between how I raised her to the DC she encountered when working at a Primary School.

I have my own children who thankfully have a wide range of interests but they are increasingly finding it harder to actually communicate with other kids. I understand we all have different interests but I actually don’t know how to guide them through this.

Honestly I would focus on your own children's apparent lack of social and communication skills rather than worrying about other people's children. I would be concerned if my child had difficulty communicating with other children.

I did a lot when younger but my main hobby at home was reading. I would read and read and read. Not dissimilar to what my kids are like with the Internet.
My daughter is one of the kids you describe, I started to talk about a tik tok post I'd seen the other day about a home design feature.... she not only knew what I was talking about, she knew the history, common usage etc etc.....me....I'd seen one tik tok post....
Don't under estimate what they get from the screen. Equally we should also make sure kids have screen free time too.

My DD is 8 so the age range you are talking about I guess? Yes she will talk about Minecraft ad nauseam sometimes but she is also obsessed with greek mythology. Her teacher told me last week's about conversations she and her friends have in class about the patriarchy (context being Boudica). I see them making up plays and dances, talking about their feelings, talking about nature (all her friends are currently obsessed with pandas), talking about music and films and books they love. She and her friend loving come up with inventions together, with another friend talking football and swopping football cards etc. She goes to bog standard primary school and I don't recognise your op at all.

In my locality, there is a (state) primary schools cross country league and every 2 or 3 fridays, 100s of children from around 15 schools get out for some muddy fun.
The presentation night, is packed with 100s of kids and parents cheering on the various winner categories, many of which are for children who have over come barriers, not just the top 10.
There is also inter schools dance, netball, football competitions, they all have a sports day too, competitive and non competitive, there is also a choir and some music lessons.

Vast majority of schools do not allow phones in the classroom, many ban them full stop.

If children are bored and lack interests, maybe the schools need to start stimulating children? and a start for that is involving the parents.

I can't relate to young dc having 'no interests' tbh.

Ds3 is 6. He does Rugby, karate, swimming and will talk your ear off about any of them. He chatters constantly about whatever big or important event or dress up day is coming up in school and is very passionate about it.

I sometimes go past the school yard which can be seen from the road and spot him playing. And he along with his friends seem like any kids in the school yard at playtime - running round after a ball or drawing on the yard in chalk or fighting each other with sticks and being told off or told to stop climbing xyz etc. All red faced and playing though.

With elder dc (13 and 16) things are definitely different to me at that age due to phones/gaming/tech. They both have a fair bit of time on electronics and dc1 especially seems to have one earpod in constantly in leisure time - listening to music or podcasts when he's lying on a beach, walking the dog, cleaning his room or pottering about. Never in company though.

But they too have interests. They both do one sport each religiously, play darts, poker or chess at home often, talk about all manner of things. But yes, one of their interests is the Xbox and they talk about that too.

It wouldn’t be my cup of tea either but that doesn’t mean they’re boring, they just like different things to you.

Presumably they’re talking to eachother about this stuff? So they’re not isolated.

Maybe you’re just getting older?

I'm wondering what your children's real life interests are that are making it so difficult to find common ground with other children their age? My son is 9 and of course his friends play video games and watch some YouTube, but they are also obsessed with football and basketball and Bunny Vs Monkey and Taylor Swift and making up dance routines and a game called "lobs" which I think they have made up, but which is currently a very big deal with them. The kids who can't find common ground are either very set on interests that nobody else shares, or have some social differences.

I was brought up in 50s early 60s - not much tv, early on none. no tech.
My hobbies / interests were 0

Doesn't everyone on Mumsnet hey? Constant threads about other people's kids (I'm surprised they don't have their own acronym) and the many ways in which they are lacking. I really think we can mostly put this down to the fact that we naturally favour our own offspring.

Umm no that’s not my experience of my own children or my friends children. I work with lots of children who don’t have the opportunities for clubs and classes and the trick for a good conversation is to find their interest as they will have one and if that interest is playing dolls, Barbie’s or making dens in the garden then so be it

@Rosaofthevalley - As a millennial myself I think as a generation we are seriously failing our kids.

My 15 yr old used this very line to me a few months ago. She told me our generation has failed them terribly and she’s glad to have escaped the time of what they apparently call the ‘iPad babies’ (I didn’t even know they have a name). She was telling me about some videos of teachers discussing outcomes for primary school children where about a third of them are barely literate/numerate, the behaviour they see in school, the babies that barely have any social skills…

It made me think, if the children think we’ve failed them, we must be doing a piss poor job. Hopefully all is not lost, but I listen to the news, read MN and other forums and think I can’t disagree with her too much 🤷🏽‍♀️.

I think given the col a lot of parents probably don't have money to pay for extra curriculars these days plus a lot of parents have to work full time so no time for them either. Mine only done various activities/sports as I worked part time when he was at primary and there's a lot of free/cheap/grassroots stuff on offer where I am. Again I'm in a big city, am guessing there won't be anywhere near as many options for those in small towns and villages so that will also be a factor. And then there's the pull of on the online world offering instant excitement without leaving your home which will suit a lot of anxious kids. If the home entertainment on offer nowadays was available when we were all kids our childhoods would have looked very different.

On the bright side, at least you obviously have perfect children!

Whilst I can see what you're saying, especially with regard to technology, I think it's been the tendency of every generation ever to think that the one below it is lacking in some way. These kids will grow and evolve with our changing world like any others.

My 18yo has a massive range of interests, out all the time, hardly uses social media, screen time is minimal.
My 15yo hangs around after school playing football but once he's home, it's all screens.
So a massive difference in those three years.

But I also work in early years and my word, the difference in this generation is massive. All they want is screens and they have no idea how to play or manage their emotions.