Would you want your DDs to marry someone like your DH?

I would wholeheartedly approve of my DD marrying someone like her late dad.

He was a good 'un.

Both my dd have chosen partners very similar to my dh who is lovely. And thankfully their lovely bfs are nothing like their real dad .

This is an interesting question. He is fundamentally kind and hardworking, contributes to family. Very frugal. All trademarks of my dad!!

But he has a number of unresolved issues probably stemming from his childhood e.g. avoidant attachment, some anger, controlling tendencies and can be self centred at times. Very rude/blunt at times.

I'm not perfect either but I would want better for her.

No, but I wouldn't want her to marry someone like me, either. She deserves better than either of us.

The older I get the more I think I would prefer DD not to marry at all. If she wanted a child I'd encourage her to go it alone if she was set on it. I know my friends all feel the same for their children so I'm not unusual in this.

I've seen too many abusive men - sexually, physically, emotionally or financially. Its not worth it.

Nope. Not in a million years.

Such a good question.

My dh is very engaged with the kids, knows their routine and likes/dislikes etc and is with them a lot. However, I know that both the older kids (8 and 4, youngest is 1) feel unheard, and they are often really dysregulated after spending time together. So I don't think he fills their cup emotionally. He also isn't very obviously kind/caring to me, and I don't want any of them to think this is the ultimate relationship because I definitely feel our relationship lacks affection.

So while dh provides well for us and does the things to demonstrate he is here for us, he does very little to support any of us emotionally and I hope my kids end up with partners who are more emotionally available, warm, considerate, and patient.

Absolutely, yes! DSD is marrying someone like her dad later this year. FSIL is absolutely lovely, like DH.

ETA @DilemmaDelilah sorry I've no idea why it quoted you. Tried to delete the quote but it won't let me.

All very interesting though from a bloke's viewpoint, I can't really see any conclusion to this (and I know that's also a very male trait - wanting a conclusion). Still, seems more recommendations against marriage than for. My own DDs - one is very pro marriage and the other not really bothered.

Yes, absolutely.

oh my god that is what I wish for all of my children - not just my daughters. That they marry a person like their father (in fairness he would say the same about me).

We are 30 years married and he is the best person I know. Yeah he can drive me nuts sometimes but my god do I have a man who knows how to be an adult and who respects women.

Funnily enough when we met he quoted a line from PJ Wodehouse and I capped it - I think that was when we looked at each other and thought ok this could be something. I read PJ Wodehouse because of my dad. My husband is very different from my dad but he has exactly the same integrity and values and sense of humour.

Gd forbid mine marry someone like their dad.. on the other hand they should be so lucky to end up with someone like my dh, their stepdad.

I would caution them against the marriage part if I were asked. But if they chose to partner with someone with values like their father’s (my partner’s), I’d be happy.

Definitely not. I'll say to my DCs - don't ever marry someone with depressive tendencies as it takes its toll on the family. They know that already though

Yep, he’s an awesome human, great husband and a fantastic dad. He consistently models what an equal, respectful and loving relationship looks like in a way that has influenced our dc and helped them set a healthy bar for how they expect to be treated by their own partners. He’s a good ‘un.

I’d be delighted if my daughter married a man like my husband. He’s fab. Bugs the hell out of me occasionally but for the most part, he’s great. She’d be lucky to find someone like him.

Oh my what a question. I honestly wished I had not read it.

Sadly although my DH is a loyal and reliable husband I would not want my DDs to marry someone similar. I feel dreadful writing that.

Yes, undoubtedly. My DH has all the qualities I could wish for in a partner for my DD - level-headed yet passionate, incredible in a crisis, knows how to have fun, makes me laugh, awesome cook, pulls his weight around the house, hard-working, emotionally intelligent, puts his family first...terrible dandruff but no one's perfect.

I'd be absolutely delighted!

Not in a million years.

I'd never want my DD to marry someone like her father, but I'd be very happy for her to marry someone like Mr Pony. Fortunately she seems to be much more hard-headed than I am, and has dumped several boyfriends for not measuring up to her standards!

Yes. He's not perfect, but nor am I, nor is she - nobody is. But he is a fantastic husband and father and we are all so lucky to have him.

Because I know not all men are like that and so does she. She does have positive male role models in her life luckily
Obviously it will be up to her if she decides not to date again but hopefully her prick of an ex won't keep influencing her life choices.
Ultimately I'd love her to stay at home so she doesn't get hurt but I don't think it's realistic (or healthy( to expect an 18 year old to sit at home every night

Yes definitely.

Yes. He's a lovely man and a lovely Dad. Hairy back though.