To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

Oh god, my mum does this. She’ll freak out and scream if a kid runs ahead of their parents on a pavement, even if there’s no traffic, it’s a cul de sac and the kid stops and waits at a junction. Then will make a big deal about fanning herself and go over to the parents, grasping their arm and saying things like, “Oh, oh, that was so close!”.

You’ve said that you were in a restaurant with an indoor play area and there were more than just your kid running around. When I go to a very family-oriented restaurant, I know darned well what I’m letting myself in for. That woman should have too and flipping canned it.

Places with children's pay areas might be an extremely sensible starting point.

Do you lack common sense? So many people do these days.

If you want to avoid parents and children whose behaviour you might now love, my top tip is to pick restaurants that don’t have children’s play areas.

Those places involve basically eating your dinner in soft play - and all that comes with that.

She was being over the top and rude. We've come across badly behaved children when out with ours and just ignored them. Unless they are actually in my space then it's none of my business. We always avoided the Wacky Warehouse type place like the plague, to be fair. They are a horrible atmosphere for eating with a child and do nothing to encourage good table manners. We always took ours out to normal restaurants, just made sure we didn't eat too late, and took colouring books or small table games to entertain.

OP you are being unreasonable projecting the blame on the lady. If there was a child running around and swinging on their chair next to me it would make me slightly anxious as it is an accident waiting to happen. I have taken my kids to these types of places numerous time but they were never allowed to behave like this. Whilst I would expect a lot of kiddy noise etc at place like this, there is a limit and other diners should be considered.

You sound like a perfect parent! Well done for considering others, while keeping your own children happy.
THIS is good parenting.

@Goldenrainbows I think we have unreasonable expectations for small children. They really don't have the attention span to sit nicely and eat for long periods of time. I have a 3 and 5 year old if we go out to eat I take crayons and coloring books. In the bit between courses the colour or we play what am I games. I make it easier for the 3 year old. Example i went to the market and brought a fruit, it was round, it was crunchy and red.

If my kids were disturbing others I would take them out. This is a one and done family. You get one warning, sit and eat nicely or we will leave, next thing I'd be getting my food to go. You can't impose on others.

Although, I do question if I'm too hard. Adults can't behave, so I wonder if expecting kids to is unreasonable. On the train and bus people have the phone on loud speaker and have conversations or play their music. Recently, I told someone to stop vaping on the train. At the theater the 3 people next to me talked for the whole show. People lack basic manners and respect for other people.

Servers certainly don’t accept children running around. It’s dangerous for everyone.

When a restaurant says Family friendly with a play area and there is access to fizzy drinks then you can expect noise and over excited children high on sugar drinks running around.

The servers know this, the parents know this. If you don’t want to police other people’s children and want to concentrate on your own food then maybe avoid these type of establishments.

Completely disagree with the comments here. She was rude. She was directly interrupting you during your meal, which was in a place with a play area for kids. It wasn’t a Michelin started dining experience for anyone, it was a family restaurant and she felt entitled to interfere. If she had felt disturbed, or that you were not sufficiently supervising your child, then she should have informed a member of staff. Completely inappropriate for her to interfere.

You went to a family friendly place, with a play area for entertaining children. Your child was playing, that is the purpose of the play area. If you were seated directly next to the play area then there really is no ‘running around the restaurant is there’. There is going to and from the play area!!

My advice for anyone wanting a peaceful and relaxed dining experience would be NOT to go to a restaurant designed for young children to play!! Especially if your then going to sit and judge and comment on the very people it’s actually designed for.

Lots of people saying that the behaviour is expected of a 3 year old. It is, yes, but it is also expected that said 3 year old is helped to understand the next level of expectations and learn to meet them.

if I was aware a child was rocking on their chair, I couldn’t not worry about it. Having worked with children with varying degrees of development, that is a real fear of mine, as I have seen it go wrong too many times. Just saying “stop” doesn’t teach the child anything. It has to be backed up by action (even just holding the chair still).

it’s not about claiming to be perfect or hating children or wanting them to be mini adults, but recognising that children have to be actively helped to learn the right way to behave. I do think that restaurants with soft play do set some children up for difficulty though, as it is hard for them to mode-switch between soft play mode and restaurant behaviour.

Can the OP and everyone who thinks she's not being unreasonable let me know where you go out to eat. I'd like to avoid those places

Family friendly doesn’t mean that children can be allowed to do dangerous things though!

nothing suggests the woman wanted a silent room. She was concerned about a child being allowed to swing on chairs and run around.

I think sometimes people just want to put themselves in situations where they can complain about other people’s children/parenting.

Saturday early evening in a family pub with a children’s play area sounds like a situations you’d only put yourself in if you also have kids.

I wouldn't have liked it either. The child could have really hurt . It's hard with a toddler but the chair rocking is a firm no from me.

Yes, just trying to enjoy their quiet, adult only meal in the soft play area of a family pub.

The poor souls. Is there no justice?

You know Brexit didn’t move the position of the country? Europe =/= the EU

If someone wants a quiet dinner in peace then then why would she choose a family restaurant with a children’s play area?

Well, yes this.

Kids run backwards and forwards from the play area to their parent's table. The waiting staff expect it. The other families expect it.

If you , as a diner, don't want this, you eat elsewhere. Other establishments are available.

It doesn't sound like you did much to change his behaviour. If saying no has failed and he is repeatedly running to the play area you either:

Take him outside, to the entrance area, somewhere away from the dining area and explain very clearly your expectations (and follow through with whatever you tell him the consequence is).
I always found it easier to separate them from the situation at that age and start afresh going back in but I admit I am in the firm category of parenting and I'd feel like the woman at the other table with someone who kept saying 'please don't' to zero effect.

Distract him with something else. There's normally a colouring sheet, a book in a bag, even a phone (without volume) worst case to calm him from hyper state and then worry about his food later.

Or if you don't like to do this in the middle of a restaurant, accept that the play area is his focus and if it's safe for him to be there, write off the eating of the chicken nuggets or box them up.

This strange hybrid of fretting over him eating but doing little to calm him down would annoy me too. Sorry.

The voice of reason!

👏 👏

Exactly the hyperbole!

It was a restaurant with a kids play area, hence it will have kids being kids in it!

What does anyone expect?

For fuck’s sake.

OP took her kid to a soft play... kids run around in soft play. We go to several pubs like this often and NEVER been to one where kids weren't bombing around.

Having been a parent for 16 years I have never known this NOT to happen and is why these pubs split dining into 'adults' and 'children's' parts.

If you want a meal without kids playing you don't eat in the play section of a soft play pub, thats just common sense.

When there is a pub with a play area, the expectation was : Eat your meal nicely THEN if you've been good and quiet and well behaved for main course (we did take colouring books and pencils or books), ONLY THEN can you go on the play equipment while we have coffee.