To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

The woman was alerted by your child's unruly behaviour.

It doesn't matter whether it was a family restaurant or not, your child was needing your extra attention.
If you couldn't quickly ask DC to sit and behave well, you orthe child's father should have got up and left with DC.
Your meals could have been packaged.

You made it harder for next time.

Posts like this are just silly and fail to show what the poster thinks they do.

No one is claiming that their children never misbehaved (mine are older now so it's only appropriate to use the past tense for me).

But that they explained the expectations, took appropriate activites to reduce boredom reminded their children of the expectations once/twice and then removed the children if they refused or were unable to behave appropriately for the context for whatever reason.

Thats the parenting bit.

No one has claimed to have children that never misbehaved. But I only found it necessary to remove my children once or twice when they were very young before they learnt.

Children learn the opposite too. Some children learn that their parents won't remove them or that "No" doesn't actually mean they have to stop because their parent will say "No" on repeat and eventually give up in defeat.

So many poster on here seem to think a family friendly pub means kids are allowed to run around feral like they do in a soft play. It doesn't.

It means they are providing a service which is family friendly - kid friendly meals and drinks, kid friendly seating/high chairs, hot water for baby formula, perhaps a small play area or crayons to draw with at the table.

You are still expected to parent your child and ensure their behaviour is appropriate for a public place.

It’s not about being some sort of wonderful parent. It’s about doing basics to keep your child safe.

swinging on a chair is dangerous. Running in a restaurant is dangerous. Adults responsible for the child should step in and stop these things.

Once I could not use a pool on holiday because all day every day a couple drank beer and sunbathed, ignoring a toddler pottering about. Even in and out of the water. I could not relax as I was so worried about her.

See, I have 3 children, all older now. My middle child was such a nightmare it taught me never to judge another parent unless their kid is juggling knives or smoking crack or something. I do notice kids being a bit OTT, but I just ignore it. What I also notice is a parent doing their best, and likely getting agitated. Because I remember being that parent, and doing my best, and feeling like the whole world was watching, and judging.

No. Your lack of parenting ruined her meal. I expect people to deal with their children when I'm out eating, which is rare, so a treat.

This would have stressed me out, I’d imagine him falling and having a head injury that could have been prevented by him not being allowed to swing his chair. She probably felt she couldn’t ignore it because it looked dangerous.

Gosh...all the wonderful parents here on Mumsnet whose young children simply do not misbehave.
I feel privileged to read the opinions and advice of such wise and helpful people. Truly.

😉😆

What you are doing is good parenting. And society needs more parents like you.

The adults you describe (on the train, in the theatre, etc) are likely raising children that are equally self-absorbed, selfish and lack social manners, and are terribly difficult to teach. Our primary school is full of children who are clearly being raised by people like that. It's awful.

Qué,oh my bairn ,oh my bairn.

Can you imagine the screaming that would ensu if the chair swinging led to chair falling and hitting kid in the face..

You should have taken him outside for a while. We don’t all find other peoples children cute or charming.

yes sorry - kids in this state of behaviour should not be kept in restaurants - you have waiting staff carrying hot plates - the elderly risking falling and breaking something - not to mention the risk to your kid. Not to mention disruptive for other diners. He’ll grow out of this phase but you should have some done something to distract him or remove him. Shame about your last night but that’s just what you sign up to with kids.

I was in the cafe at the art centre close to where I live. There were two women in there with their children and they allowed them to run riot. They kept coming very close to my table and bumped into it, spilling my coffee which I moved away so it did not land on them. I thought the mums would say or do something but they carried on ignoring them and the children continued to run around getting louder and louder. One of them bashed their head on the corner of my table and began crying. I took him over to the women who barely acknowledged me, but did tell me that it was none of my business. If you are in a public space where other people are trying to relax then you really should try to ensure that your children behave themselves. I know that they can challenge you and we have all had our moments when they simply will not behave but that is when you take them to one side or you take them out

If your child swung off his chair more than once, you were not dealing with it.

Erm.....yes we are!

Europe is a continent and the British Isles are most definitely in it.

Are you one of those people who has difficulty in understanding the difference between Europe the continent and 'Europe' when used as a euphemism for the EU?

See, I like the dogs, the kids, the older people, couples, all in together, the only thing that I don't like is children running where people are serving food as that's dangerous. In a family/all types of people pub/restaurant, I like the mix of people, I'm not going out to sit quietly, I might be out with a couple of friends (we may even laugh loudly), out with my teenagers, I'm not out to be extremely quiet anyway, so I don't mind it (which is why I don't mind Wetherspoons, cheap and cheerful, also in a beautiful building in our city).

You can't parent your child and have distractions at the same time?

Doesn't bode well for the future, does it?

This is one of the reasons when we do go out these days we choose our restaurant/walking route/time of day very, very carefully.

I'm fed up with the number of people that don't reign in this type of behaviour, whether it's swinging on a chair or letting their kids (or dogs) run right into me or my partner, who is currently only able to walk with sticks. In fact sometimes I'd say it was deliberate.

At school I do recall one of our kindest but sternest deputy heads telling us about a child who had swung on a chair despite being told to stop several times, fell off, and bruised their arse rather badly. They were very very lucky it wasn't worse.

I went out recently to a pub which has a play area although the children weren't in it at the time, they were sat waiting for their mums to come back. Quite a few kids, slightly lively but nothing terrible, it's a busy family place. On the opposite side were three older (middle-aged) people, who found it necessary to make loud declarations about these children, tut, huff, and say negative things. They spent their whole meal craning their necks and saying nasty thing, not one bit of conversation was about them, their lives, their families anything.

Once the mums returned from ordering the children were relatively well behaved (which must have been disappointing to our neighbours) and they had nothing to say to each other!

I know which group I'd have rather been sitting with! I was mesmerised by the whole scene, that people would come out, spend probably £75 or more and spend the entire time tutting over others!

This is exactly what we used to do when the children were small.

The result was children we could take pretty much anywhere ro eat from quite young ages. One of mine wpuld never have got up and run around it was just in his nature. The other absolutely would if she'd been given the opportunity to do so!

We went out for dinner once with my husband's brother and his family. It was my husband who said we were never doing that again because their kids were poorly behaved and their parents also 'tried their best' which really looked like a combination of them ignoring them interspersed with "Jack, come and sit down, "Jack. I've told you to sit down." "Jsck if you don't sit down we're going home". "Jack, I've told you that if you don't sit down, were going home" "Jack! Do I need to take you home?"

Yes! Just fucking take him home!

For some parents the endless threats that aren't followed through with are 'trying'.

I'm always reminded of Yoda at times like this.

Parent your child or do not. There is no 'try'.

And if for whatever reason it isn't working, you leave.

People ask how will children ever learn how to behave in a restaurant if they don't experience them and are not taught. This is absolutely true. But you have to actively teach them.

I think the fact other children were being raucous and didn't get the same comments probably proves the lady didn't have a problem with kids generally but with the safety and parenting of this one

Not IMO you're not to hard, you've young DC and seem to be pretty well organised when taking them out, you seem a forethought instead of hindsight type of person, we need more of you.

Yes children of any age can have a moment but it's how the parents react to them moments that counts, play area's in pubs are a specific area and running about should be kept to that area set out.

Imagine going to a family restaurant with a soft play area and expecting a quiet stress free meal? She should have minded her own business