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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

407 replies

Goldenrainbows · 10/03/2024 07:16

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

OP posts:
Newyearoldhair · 10/03/2024 07:32

Op - AIBU?
Every reply - Yes
OP - but Im not because .......🙄

susey · 10/03/2024 07:32

Yeah I wouldn't want my precious Saturday night meal out ruined by this kind of behaviour. Clearly you were not supervising closely enough.

Sometimes unfortunately with toddlers/small kids you have to sacrifice your dinner to parent properly. One of us would have left with the child.

Greenpolkadot · 10/03/2024 07:32

Why didn't you parent him appropriately by taking him taking him out ?
Regardless of what other children are doing you should be controlling your own child
You probably spoilt her meal and I'm sure she wasn't the only parent there tutting at his acrobatics with the chair

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 10/03/2024 07:31

He was running off, being silly and repeatedly swinging on his chair.....you ruined her meal OP.

You need to learn to control your child or take him out of the restaurant.

tittybumbum · 10/03/2024 07:30

was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off

I'm not sure why you think other people wouldn't notice and be bothered by this. I'm pretty sure everyone would be aware of a dc running off in a restaurant. Staff too hate it as it's dangerous.

ASighMadeOfStone · 10/03/2024 07:30

Goldenrainbows · 10/03/2024 07:29

We really didn’t ruin her meal. She had angled her chair so that she was sat sideways and looking at us. If she had sat properly (for want of a better word) she wouldn’t have known he was there. He was playing up but not to the extent it would have disturbed anybody else, the chairs weren’t so close together him swinging back got in anyone else’s way.

So it's her fault for sitting where she could see your child?

Sunnnybunny72 · 10/03/2024 07:30

She was dropping big hints as to get a grip on the situation.
Was your DH also 'trying to deal with it?'
Didn't either of you take the hint and remove him??!!

jellyfishbubbles · 10/03/2024 07:30

Goldenrainbows · 10/03/2024 07:29

I promise I was dealing with DS but it was made harder by her repeated interruptions.

Then say that. Say its OK thank you for your concern I'm going to go and play with him now for a little bit.

Original poster
Goldenrainbows · 10/03/2024 07:29

I promise I was dealing with DS but it was made harder by her repeated interruptions.

OP posts:
MagnoliaBrown · 10/03/2024 07:29

You should have left if he was hyper and silly. She ruined your meal and you ruined hers.

Babsexxx · 10/03/2024 07:29

britneyisfree · 10/03/2024 07:19

Sounds like she was worried and anxiety meant she couldn't help herself. Sounds like a nightmare I'd hate

Regardless of other children, your own should be your focus. When you go out and want to enjoy a meal if you don't have the type of child that can behave in public you might need reassess as the way you've described it he sounds unruly and disruptive.

This all over! I couldn’t rest and eat my food seeing a young child potentially breaking there neck my anxiety would be through the roof and I get that anxiety where I feel like my throats closing and I can’t swallow, very uncomfortable for the other diners. OP you should of either got him under control potentially in a highchair OR just left!

ASighMadeOfStone · 10/03/2024 07:29

She was right. He was doing something that could have resulted in serious injury for him.

It sounds like hell on earth, especially as you say yours wasn't the only "badly behaved" child there. I'm sure he wasn't. But just because there were more of them, it was a family restaurant and had a play area, doesn't mean you don't have to actually deal with behaviour that's affecting others.

Original poster
Goldenrainbows · 10/03/2024 07:29

We really didn’t ruin her meal. She had angled her chair so that she was sat sideways and looking at us. If she had sat properly (for want of a better word) she wouldn’t have known he was there. He was playing up but not to the extent it would have disturbed anybody else, the chairs weren’t so close together him swinging back got in anyone else’s way.

OP posts:
jellyfishbubbles · 10/03/2024 07:29

Have you ever seen a child fall off a chair they've been swinging backwards? It ain't pretty.

AuntieMarys · 10/03/2024 07:28

"She was taking our attention "
No. You weren't proactive at dealing with your child.

BogRollBOGOF · 10/03/2024 07:28

You take them out, give them a stern talking to and if they still can't behave you leave as soon as is possible.
Reins are also useful for managing small houdinis.
Been there, done that.

EspressoMacchiato · 10/03/2024 07:27

This is why I’d happily pay extra for child free experiences.

Parent your child OP

Trickabrick · 10/03/2024 07:27

It sounds like he’s was playing up repeatedly as you say she said something “every time” he swung on his chair, maybe your way of handling it wasn’t effective and she felt you weren’t taking it seriously enough.

I get it’s hard when others comment on a situation you’re trying to sort but maybe you underestimated how unruly he was being and the impact he was having on others. Better luck next time hopefully!

AlisonDonut · 10/03/2024 07:26

When you say 'we', were you the only adult in your group?

Rumbunctious · 10/03/2024 07:26

You should have removed your child from the restaurant if he was running around misbehaving. It doesn’t matter that others were being badly behaved, that’s no excuse. There’s no way I’d have allowed running around servers carrying food and swinging on chairs. He’d have been whipped outside to calm down and I’d have been having a firm word. There’s nothing worse than watching someone fail to parent an unruly child being riotous in shoe where you’re trying to eat.

I was doing my best to deal with it.

Your best obviously wasn’t good enough was it? He was still misbehaving…

Jifmicroliquid · 10/03/2024 07:26

Sort your child out fgs.
She was worried for his safety.

Didimum · 10/03/2024 07:26

What time was it? He was likely overtired. I don’t think restaurants are the best place for 3yr olds in the evenings. You should have taken him out if he couldn’t handle it.

Beezknees · 10/03/2024 07:25

If your child is swinging off a chair and running off in a restaurant, you take them outside. Stop letting them disturb other diners. If it means you don't get to enjoy your meal, that's tough. Part and parcel of parenting.

Sounds like she was being dramatic but it was probably down to annoyance.

Sherrystrull · 10/03/2024 07:25

Swinging back on a chair is hugely dangerous. What were you doing to stop him? I know of two children who cracked their heads open when their chair fell back after they'd been swinging on it.

AhBiscuits · 10/03/2024 07:25

I'm sure you ruined her meal too. I wouldn't be able to relax with a small child swinging back on his chair in my eyeline. She was right, it's dangerous. Why did you allow him to do this more than once?

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