To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

Well if your child was parented and not 'oh they are 3 they are allowed to run riot it is normal' then she wouldn't need to have commented

It's simple really

"He was listening to me but when she was giving him attention it fed that so he was more inclined to be silly."

So it's her fault that your child was disruptive and "silly"?

I don't know why you didn't just leave or take him outside, sounds very fraught for everyone.

I agree that's what a child would want to do. But the Op said her son was swinging on a chair and not eating. The chair swinging was likely alarming and sounds dangerous. In this situation with a hyped up 3 yr old not interested in eating I'd have cut my losses and let them not eat and just play in the play area. She said she was right next to it so that sounds ideal. In my thinking play areas are so the parents can eat in peace (as if!) Expecting him to sit and eat next to a fun place was probably a non starter. Not managing the chair swinging was a mistake in my humble opinion.

Gently OP, what are you hoping to get from this thread?

You’ve seen the vast majority of people’s views and instead of accepting them and perhaps reflecting on the situation and how it could have been handled better and avoided in future, you are coming across as defensive.… if you didn’t want other people’s views and it appears you don’t, then why ask?

I would have simply told her that you are trying to deal with it and would be much more successful if she turned around and focused on her own meal and left you to it.

As for kids being “just well, kids…”
Nobody can afford for this in a society where people aggressively defend their kid’s right to behave how they like and then turn around and sue the restaurant when their precious little angel knocks into wait staff carrying hot food and burns their special little self.

OP, you don't seem to be actively listening. You're reading people's responses and responding defensively.

Was this really the woman's problem? Was SHE the issue? Of course not.

Your 3 year old was being a normal 3 year old and not sitting still. He was swinging on his chair and running about. He's just not ready to be eating in a restaurant. I have a 3 year old too and we don't eat out now. We used to when she was better behaved but she's a boisterous headstrong toddler who doesn't gel with restaurants. When she's older, we'll be able to eat out. For now we stick to home, family or fast food/cafe style venues.

If you have children you have to adapt your lifestyle. It's not up to others to move or accept children being noisy or disruptive. And it's very off-putting watching a 3 year old balance on the edge of their chair. I know it's not easy and not ideal, but that's part of parenting.

Yabu.

Chair swinging - you put your arm across the back and hold the chair down so he can’t swing. And that’s the job done, surely? Why couldn’t you stop that instantly?

You keep hold of the chair so he can’t swing.

you take him out.

at 3 you put him in a high chair if needed!

what you don’t do it let him repeat the behaviour constantly and just ask him not to when that isn’t working.

Saying stop? What else did you do to stop your child ruining the atmosphere for everyone?

I wouldn't want my evening meal ruined by kids running about but then again I would not ever go out for an evening meal in a place with a play area cos that's what happens!! Over reaction on her part

You said he was running off and not eating but that he was hungry. You should have ignored the woman if he was running off and dealt with him. It’s dangerous and poor waiters/waitresses are trying to deliver food around your wild son?! No good asking a question and getting defensive. Have your kid behave or don’t go.

Control your kid

I don't understand the *dealing with" it part, how did the chair swinging happen multiple times, that's not dealing with anything and why would you need to engage with the woman

Remove child from table, ignore woman - job done, you made a situation where there didn't need to be one

I don’t get this. Ignore her and parent your child.

if you had dealt with it she would have had nothing to comment on.

All that anxiety probably comes from a place in her past - one where she wasn’t allowed to be a normal three year old.

Oh hark at Poundland Freud!

Play areas hype children up, though. Of course they’re going to be bouncier than usual. If the pub wanted to encourage families, but quietly, they’d provide colouring in.

Besides the Op said she was sitting right next to the play area. So it sounds like the child was running from it to the table and back again between bites. What three year old wouldn’t want to do that?

Surely if you are sat right next to the play area it is so your child can play whilst you eat? No amount of chicken nuggets and chips is going to be more fun than the play area. I would have just let him play and eat something later.

I am surprised you were distracted by her when you were trying to stop your child from running around and swinging on chairs - in fact I am amazed you even noticed her.

Absolutely this.

She was being passive aggressive about it, which is quite irritating. You're right that her flapping around probably didn't help at all. However, she was right that you needed to be dealing with it right then and there.