To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

Child friendly doesn’t mean it’s ok for children do to dangerous things though!

I'm not sure what you mean by this.
By all means take your child to a child friendly pub.
The play area is for playing.
The chairs and tables are for the meal.
Assuming you were there as a family then if your child cannot sit still without disturbing others then you need to do it between you. One goes to the play area. One eats. Then swap. At some point your child needs to sit and eat. If you cannot get him to sit still long enough to eat then that's a different issue.

I feel sorry for her. She was just trying to enjoy her meal. I would have complained to the staff. I don’t want to be bothered by hyper kids when I’m at a restaurant

I knew someone would talk about European children and how bloody perfect they are. It was on my bingo card from the off.

Anyway OP it’s a restaurant / pub with a play area so it’s going to attract families with children ( and I’d personally give it a massive swerve if I didn’t have a child) I’m not sure if I think they’re a good idea or not. I think colouring / crayons and quiet table based activities are better in these situations. You’ve got to make sitting at the table interesting.
The only way any child is going to learn to eat In restaurants nicely is by actually going - eating is a social event that shouldn’t happen separately from children imo. If he was hyped up and you are actually trying to entertain him rather than just saying “ sit down” repeatedly then I think she should have kept her opinion to herself. If you sitting there rather passively then I imagine it was frustrating to her and other people. Sometimes you just want people to get a grip of a situation. If the worse comes to the worse you can always ask for your food to be boxed and take it home with you.

Yes she would. Unless she's deaf.

It's possible for both parties to be a bit wrong you know.

It doesn't have to be either she was wrong or you were.

Was she helping the situation? No. Her comments were unnecessary and probably judgemental in intent rather than expressions of genuine concern. It's upsetting to know your parenting has been judged and found wanting.

Were you dealing with the situation? No. "trying" to deal with something isn't dealing with it. The chair swinging part was the easiest of all to deal with. You move the chair so it's right next to you and you physically hold it so he can't swing on it.

If your child is unwilling or unable to follow your instructions on how to behave somewhere then you remove them from the situation entirely and try again another day.

BUT did he have to eat right then? He want going to collapse of starvation if he didn't eat until he was bored of playing or even when you got home.

He is 3 so play areas are for playing. I think the problem is that by choosing to go to this type of location for your meal you have confused the two things. At 3 I would have taken mine to a soft play then gone out for tea somewhere calm once they were tired out where I could set the expectations of behaviour.

Going slightly contrary to many posts, this was a child friendly restaurant with a softplay, any adult not wanting to be around playing kids shouldn't have been there, so it sounds like it may have been the wrong environment for the woman.

Having said that, I've been to lots of those kind of places with DD and we always had a very simple rule that she could play before and after dinner in the softplay, but while she was at the table/in the dining area she needed to behave or she would get 1 warning then we'd leave. She could eat quickly and go back to playing, she didn't have to sit for ages at the table, but she did need to sit nicely at the table, eat properly, walk not run around the tables and not mess about. Predominantly this was for safety, kids running about and swinging on chairs where hot food is being moved around and space is limited is dangerous, but it's also to show consideration for the other diners.

If you've already paid then you're fine to just leave. Yes you won't get the food but the pub won't mind

No. You don't have high standards. You did not stop your child from swinging on chair. You did not remove your child when he ran off.
Your definition of high standard seems a bit off to me.
No one is saying parenting is easy but to allow your child to run in a restaurant it's not high standards!
Take your child out.
Take your child to the play area and let him run off steam. That's what it's there for.

Absolutely this.

How do you know it didn’t ruin her meal?
why didn’t you just ignore her and focus on your son?

In Europe (and probably most other countries) generations of all ages eat out together and the 3 year old has learned from year dot how to behave.

We’re in bloody Europe!

Also utter nonsense. I’ve seen French, German, Italian and Spanish kids misbehaving in restaurants. I had a delightful experience once in a restaurant where a French boy of about 10 sneezed directly in my face and gave me one of the worst colds of my life and neither he or his Mother apologised.

Disagree with other posters. I just ignore stuff like this, it’s easy to do and why would I give it any attention?

I don’t really care if someone else’s child falls off a chair and I doubt she does either.

She was turning this into a one-woman performative show of what she thought of your child/ your parenting.

In her own way, she was acting out as much as your child, but with much less justification.

If I were there, her adult shrieking and commentary would have been far more irritating to me than a small child rocking on a chair or doing a runner. That’s something I can ignore or laugh at.

YANBU OP

Yes exactly this. I don't go to Brewer's Fayre now mine are teens!

Having lived in other countries, I am mortified how little parenting many Brits actually do.

In Europe (and probably most other countries) generations of all ages eat out together and the 3 year old has learned from year dot how to behave.

Running away from the table?
Doesn't even exist there.

I cannot understand the hard time you’re getting here op. Maybe people are missing the part where you’re eating in a restaurant with a soft play? Quite literally designed to be a place to take small children out for meals. The woman sounds incredibly irritating, if she can’t deal with small children and their behaviour why is she eating in a restaurant with a soft play. Your child sounds three, as does the behaviour of the woman. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t mind the busy bodies, and happy Mother’s Day!

The woman isn't the problem here.

Your son is. What are you going to do about it?

Why can't you " control him at all" ?
And, if you really can't, don't take him to a restaurant until you can!