To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

I’m confused on what kind of atmosphere the OPs child was apparently ruining if it’s a restaurant that includes a children’s play area?! I doubt anyone is there for the peaceful fine dining experience.

The OP has said that other children as well as her own were behaving badly and spoiling the evening for others.

It is absolutely not the 3 year old's fault. Nobody is saying that.

The problem lies with people like the OP who decides that because 3 year olds do certain things because they're 3, that's OK.

It really isn't. And the other people in the restaurant aren't responsible for that. It lies fairly and squarely with parents like the OP.

YANBU at all OP, some posters have lemminged-up against you on this thread.
Kids need to learn, they are a valid part of society, you were dealing with it, just ignore cries of "you should have removed your child" and "ruining someone's dinner" etc.

Yanbu. An adult in a restaurant really should not be shrieking and interfering with the other diners. Not only was she likely to be interrupting other people's dinner, but it was undoubtedly annoying to the children who were trying to enjoy the indoor play area. I don't know why so many posters are obsessed with you and your child's behavior, as he sounds like a normal three year old visiting an indoor play area.

The play area could have confused him I guess . Kids can get a bit over excited when playing maybe he was finding it hard to switch from play mode to table mode. Then it's probably very temping for him to want to go and play.

I wasn't there and don't know what the woman on the other table was saying . But the rocking on the chair thing she was probably worried he might fall back and smash his head. It does not bother me if other people get involved as long as its in the right way. If it stops my child doing something they should not be /keeps them safe , helps me out . Then to me that's a good thing.

Lol

And just to add it's definitely not limited to family - she would absolutely do as you have described to a stranger.

Surely everyone could have done a bit better? The bit I'm not clear on is whether you were with your partner or other children?

There would be no need for the woman to shriek if that honestly was her reaction.

Your child should have been actively parented. Even without the bystanders commentary what you describe would be a nightmare for the serving staff.

Lots of suggestions and comments on this thread so you have options for what can be done better next time.

Op I hope you're OK. Everyone piling on, think about how your comments can be read and received by someone struggling. Yes a child shouldn't be swinging on a chair etc in a restaurant but as parents we're not perfect and don't always do the best thing in a situation, or perhaps we're just exhausted / over it. This woman sounds irritated, and I would have been too, but I am more concerned here about the poster after her last post.

Op, parenting is hard. We get it and some days are harder than others. Shake it off, it'll get easier. Today mother's day, try not to dwell on the incident or this post.

Mumsnet (ironically) is the worst place to ask this sort of question. Lots of people on Mumsnet seem to subscribe to the notion that children should be seen and not heard; heaven forbid a child behaves like a child!

It seems children should just know how to be well behaved and polite in social settings without ever going to those social settings to be taught how to behave in them!

Yes, it's annoying when children are misbehaving but she sounds like an annoying and dramatic busybody who was actually making the situation worse! If her anxiety is so bad she can't wind her neck in and keep her nose out of other people's business then that's on her and she shouldn't be eating out. It's not on you to manage her anxiety.

Just because your child isn't the only one behaving badly in a restaurant, it doesn't excuse it.

Sorry, but this is on you, not that other lady. If he's repeatedly engaging in dangerous behaviour, to the point where a stranger is commenting on it, you're not doing enough. You need to physically get up and restrain your child.

She wasn't "interfering" she was letting you know how much your child was distressing and disturbing the dining experience of other guests. I don't think she was being unreasonable. I get that this is a hard stage of parenting and I have lived through having a 2yo just like that but you can't let them run around being a danger to themselves and others in a restaurant. You need some toddler reins urgently. This phase will pass and you can enjoy nice family restaurant meals when your child is old enough to behave appropriately.

Yanbu OP. And I don't think you deserved the heavy handed comments here. The reason I say that is I have a shrieking MIL who generally is very nice but tends to shriek around any small perceived harm or potential harm. As far as I can tell it's sort of genuine and not deliberately performative but it is very irritating when it's going on in my ear when I'm dealing with something. Also her risk assessment is off - she would shriek a lot about trivial stuff. She made my kids cry with shock a few times when she shrieked and they were going about their business.

All this to say there are some people like this. Good luck OP. Don't let it put you off going to eat out again. IME those places were the absolute pits and my kids who were completely able to sit at a table and eat, and new that was the expectation, got really confused with the play area thing. We went a couple of times to places in center parcs one year then never again.

People paid to have an enjoyable meal.

Not to have to listen to or watch out for unruly children.

A child running around a busy restaurant is not safe and must have been a complete pain for everyone including the staff carrying hot food to the tables...

Someone would not be repeatedly commenting if you were dealing with it.

The best thing would have been to take the kid outside to try to settle him and then come back or considering cutting your meal short.

She might have been the one who said something but I would bet quite a few other people in the restaurant were also annoyed by the disruption caused.

An evening meal in a restaurant for a toddler is not the best choice to start with if you struggle to manage him.

Why someone would post such a tone deaf post on AIBU is beyond me. It’s as if you’re asking to be slated!

Saying no is the first step. If that doesn't stop dangerous or undesirable behaviour then you need to move to the next step. Sitting the child on your knee, arm along the back of his chair, hand pushing down the front of the chair, removal from the restaurant are all next steps.

Also, were you eating alone with the child? Why was it only you trying to deal with his behaviour?

Almost never. Unless I really felt it was imperative. Perhaps this woman did feel it was imperative. It does often amaze me how lax and casual some parents are where their small child's safety is concerned.

You obviously weren’t dealing with it if he was doing it repeatedly!

This. YABU

But i do accept we shouldn’t have taken DS, as I can’t control him at all so we reliant on his cooperation which obviously wasn’t happening.
Still reading the thread but what the hell do you mean by this??

It’s not to say DS was perfect but he wasn’t that bad and I have pretty high standards.
No, you have zero standards, or parenting ability, if you can't control your child at all. Time to get some parenting lessons OP, you seriously need them 😱

Hmm, it’s a hard one. Was your child be way more annoying then you’re letting on?

The whole shrieking ‘he’ll fall’ is ridiculous. But I would find a kid running around being annoying on my child free night so bloody irritating and unfair.

I accept we were obviously in the wrong I am a bit baffled that it’s okay to behave as she did. It really wasn’t helpful.

Because she clearly has a much more heightened sense of danger than you do. She was probably more concerned for his safety than she was irritated by his bad behaviour, although it was probably his bad behaviour that caused her to turn around and notice him in the first place. She may have turned her chair to keep an eye on him once she realised he was rocking his chair dangerously and you were not doing enough to stop him. I'd have done the same. No way could I relax and turn my back on a child I thought might be about to fall and hit their head.

By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

Translates to trying to excuse shit parenting by saying other DC were misbehaving so it must be fine for my DC also.

Honestly, she was being unreasonable in the fact she went to a pub with a play area and expected anything like a peaceful meal. I think I would have told the nosey bitch to piss off at that point. And yes, my kids are generally well behaved but also got hyper when little, if youre in a wacky warehouse type of place, its kind of expected

She sounds like she was being a bit dramatic. But at 3 years old we would not have attempted an evening outing to a pub/softplay type place. I think lunch would be more manageable & if it's evening then just get a ready meal or take away & get him home to bath & bed. I don't think he was being deliberately naughty, he would have been better off at home with some CBeebies on.