my attitude on this 1st date?

Wow. How unusual in terms of not understanding social etiquette. Do you often do things people think are off? Like highly sensitive and react poorly?

or do you have deep shame surrounding masterbation and his question panicked you, you didn’t know how to answer, so just left?

I would have told him to “fuck off” before walking out.

The assumptions about OP here are horrible. Her happy past relationships are in her head, she must be miserable, she must have past trauma... or, maybe her boundaries stop at questions which only have one obvious answer and she didn't feel the need to sit through a date just to be polite? We've seen that some people would happily talk about their sex toys or pretend to laugh about it, fine, I (and many others) also wouldn't want to tell a stranger anything this personal. I don't know how I'd react as been with DP many years now, but I think OP's reaction was just fine. Why assassinate her character in defence of a random man who probably just felt surprised when she didn't put up with it and likely went to ask the next woman, hoping she'd stick around?

Seems a little dramatic to walk out like that

I’ve done OLD for years and been on many dates, “what do you do for sex?” Is an incredibly intrusive question, very innapropiate for a first date. However… if you told the guy you haven’t had sex in 3 years (I dunno if you did tell him or not), that would be way too much information, so it’s a massive 🚩🚩🚩. Sounds like there were red flags on both camps.

😂

Odd behaviour from you OP, you're not the same one who thought the invitation to meet a dates friend was a request for a threesome?

If that's the worst thing to happen during OLD, you've been lucky 🙂

Exactly. I don't behave in this way not because I'm a doormat or a people pleaser, but because it's unnecessary and I'm not into bringing drama to my life I don't need.

I think it shows lack of judgement, because it's a very direct question to ask someone you've just met, and is highly likely to be badly received. It isn't an unimportant subject - sex is obviously highly relevant to dating, and being well-matched sexually - but this is not a good moment or way to broach the subject.

You want to be with a man who has good judgement.

Ergo, you are better off without him.

Personally I wouldn't have just upped and left, I'd have said something like, I think that's a very direct question and it makes me feel uncomfortable... To see what he said. But maybe you are avoidant about confrontation, and I can see that with so little to lose in this encounter - you don't even know him - there's a valid question of how much energy to expend on him.

Ha, I was just about to ask that. I only dipped my toe into old a few years ago for a few short weeks (wasn’t my thing) but I never understand when people say they’ve had some great dates yet they didn’t go anywhere. All my great dates in real life led to relationships (which is the point of a great date isn’t it?).

I think he had a lucky escape. You massively overreacted.

Yeah. maybe the previous happy relationships were all happy in the OP's head. I find her insistence that everything is/was going swimmingly, except for this date a bit hard to believe. But I'm sure she thinks it's because we're all doormats and people pleasers 😎

Op. Can you not see it he asked a question, either a valid one or a flirty one, but it made you feel according to you hollow and empty inside , to behave incredibly rudely, and now questioning if he sees you as human.

is there no part of that you feel is ott?

The more you post, you the more you sound like hard work OP. And very cold.

@TheAlchemistElixa i totally agree with you - OP you sound like hard work, he offended you but is still a human being and didn't deserve such an extreme reaction from you.

So why were you on a new one? If they were very good?

Then you did the right thing. I loathed an online date on the spot because when he sat down he ‘manspreaded’ and sat back in a way I found arrogant. I didn’t get up and walk out as it was a short lunchtime meet but I might well have if he’d started talking about sex.

Well you’ll never know now will you, since you just “switched him off” like “an app”, not like a human, and you’ll never find out what he thought of you, or what he felt, or if he was sorry, or if he even understood why you stalked off.

He doesn’t sound likely to have been deserving of much more of your time, for sure, but he was certainly deserving of at least a very basic level of respect.

Goodness me op, you’re even going ott on this thread, it’s gone into batshit land, did he see you as a human, simply by asking what you did for sex?

you sound really prudish and uptight to me, I’d have laughed and said none of your business. I mean I read your op, thought ok bit ott but fair enough, then I read the rest of your comments and thought good lord.

I think he was flirting. Maybe badly, but he didn't say anything overtly awful that justified your reaction IMO.

I'm with pp that it was just a bit cruel. Imagine if you made a flirty comment at an attractive man you really liked. He didn't even respond, or give you the chance to apologise, just impassively got up and left as you did.

You'd feel awful.

He might be a complete creep and you've had a lucky escape. He might be the nicest guy you've ever met and you've missed out on a lifelong romance because of a clumsy comment. You don't know because you didn't give him a chance.

Op I really don't understand why you're still posting. You are absolutely convinced that you behaved reasonably and aren't willing to take on any other views so what's the point in continuing to explain/argue?