my attitude on this 1st date?

Yeah I'm torn with this one. It is a bit over the top for a first date, but I guess it's a natural curiosity for people who like sex and would genuinely wonder how you can survive 'that long' without sex.

I don't swear, and I guess it's akin to the 'but what do you do when you stub your toe?!' thing. To 99% of people, they simply cannot imagine someone not having what they consider a typical response to something like that.

But as others have said, if this is your boundary and made you feel off, you did the right thing by leaving :).

I'm with you OP. It's weird and crass and pushing boundaries of conventional first date talk.

There are plenty of men out there who are sexually aggressive but sexually inadequate and have no interest in learning or adjusting their approach. Not worth the effort or even being polite to them.

I think the walk out was pretty funny. There's no way he'll be self-reflective about it though so don't feel bad

It sounds like he's misread given that a conversation about being single/FWB/ONS was happening. I think the only circumstances I wouldnt have felt uncomfortable with this question is if there was loads of sexual chemistry and flirting and all completely indicating we wanted to jump on one another, then it's a question that would have been laughed off or answered or whatever. But if this wasn't the vibe, and that question was asked it would definitely make someone feel uncomfortable.

That is weird, especially 1 hour in. Well done for not lowering your standards and standing by your decision. 😊

It could mean anything and people should be wary but also if people want to find something to worry about in every single thing a person says there will always be a way

Because some people don’t mind - personally I wouldn’t be going three years without sex, and I would be concerned if my partner was able to as it would be a sign we are not compatible. I’d also not be compatible with someone who felt uncomfortable discussing sex early on.

There isn’t a right way or a wrong way, just different ways. And that’s fine.

I think he's had a lucky escape.

If you felt uncomfortable, then there's nothing wrong with terminating the date but maybe you jumped the gun. I think I'd have just laughed and been coy about it. Maybe only because I wouldn't have wanted to be rude or to confirm my thoughts about him. Staying for another drink wouldn't have meant you were committed to anything.

You can end a date for whatever reason you want, but I think you were way OTT. If you're planning on dating, then you are likely to be asked plenty of questions you may not want to answer at that time. Handling them and moving the conversation on is a better tactic than walking out.

Why should she stay? She doesn’t owe this man anything? She doesn’t have to provide him with an evening’s entertainment. Sit there, smile prettily for him and laugh at his jokes. Why waste her time just to make a man who made her uncomfortable feels better about himself?

Why do we set women up to appease and defer to men? Hopefully next time this bloke won’t be such a creep.

If it gave you the ick and you didn't like it then you did the right thing to leave. Doesn't matter if it was that question or asking you about the weather, if had the same effect, then good for you.

I do find it a tad dramatic to just walk out, I'd have probably said something like it's not working for me and then leave. The bloke was probably sat there scratching his head thinking 'wft' and that he'd had a lucky escape.

You thought his question was unacceptable so you were right to leave. Your friend would have been okay with it. That's fine - we all want different things in a partner. There's no right or wrong here but only what is right for you.

What was his reaction when you walked out?

I mean I don’t think I’d have walked out. It seems like quite a strong reaction. He may have been wondering if you are asexual or something, or thinking eeek maybe she’s not really bothered about sex then? And thinking whether he’s still interested in you if you’re not on the same page about sex. It was probably a clumsy way of trying to open up a bit of a discussion about it. Particularly if none of the conversation had been flirty at that point. If he was a sex pest (and that’s really off putting) I think you’d have seen a glimpse of it before then.

Ultimately though it made you uncomfortable and you removed yourself from the situation, so good for you.

I think this. It would certainly have made me stop to think do I want to see this person again and I might have even wrapped the date up sooner, but I don’t think I would have walked out there and then.

If you felt the ick then good on you for leaving.

It was a crass question presented bluntly like that but walking out seems way over the top to me.

@ZenNudist god forbid a woman on a dating app should want to be charmed a bit and romanced! Just because you’re on a dating app doesn’t mean you need to explain your sexual history to a stranger within a few hours of meeting for the first time.

This. Why would you continue a date with a man who makes you feel uncomfortable?

Lots of men on dating apps are just looking for FWB and ONS. If someone asked me “what I do about sex?” Within a few hours of meeting on a first date I would assume that they were trying to suss out the likelihood that they could shift me into that camp.