my attitude on this 1st date?

This. Good luck with dating op! Crikey

Not unreasonable at all. Let's look at what you said - single for three years, no dates, no one night stands. So there are only two possible answers to the question 'what do you do for sex' and it's clear which one he was salaciously hoping for.🙄

I agree. It's odd behaviour (and rude) to just walk off without a word.

Some just don't mind though. It doesn't mean their standards are low or that they're afraid.

There's a lot of cheerleading going on here which is fine, op totally should act in line with her own boundaries. But it doesn't make her some sort of hero or better/braver than anyone else.

I actually think she behaved quite rudely and in an extreme manner. Especially if the date was otherwise going well.

I think it was probably a clumsy way of him finding out what your views were on sex, as in are you asexual…never going to have sex in a relationship etc.

There had been no sexual undertones to your previous messages?

sounds fun.

Given that dating and relationships usually involves sex it’s ok to be a bit cheeky when you’re on a date. He was hardly asking you about your favourite position or whether you like bdsm.

Very odd for you to just gather your things and walk out without a word. Very odd indeed.

I think some women are afraid to assert any boundaries at all when it comes to sex, for fear of being thought a prude. It’s very depressing.

There’s also quite a lot of men who get off on and just enjoy making women feel uncomfortable. For me I would think his question was so far away from social norms that I would suspect he was enjoying making me feel uncomfortable.

This x 100 ^

Most normal people don’t just drop everything and walk off when someone crosses a boundary though.

💯 this.

It's quite nauseating reading all the cheerleader posts here for rude over-reactionary behaviour rather than using one's words if a boundary was crossed & dealing with it in a normal fashion (which can include finishing the date, naturally).

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You didn't like the question and you left. Well done on respecting your own boundaries.

Most normal people don’t just drop everything and walk off when someone crosses a boundary though.

The OPs response was very odd indeed

She DID give him a chance, hence why they were on a date.

You don’t need to be guilt tripped into explaining your sex life to a literal stranger OP, perfectly reasonable to be put off by the question.

It’s totally fine that you ended the date. However, he crossed a boundary he didn’t know you had, I actually think it would be worse if he knew you well and then asked you something he knew would make you uncomfortable. I also would be shocked and wanting to know more if someone had not had sex for three years as I also couldn’t imagine that. He made a faux pas that showed you clearly aren’t compatible, but you were deliberately rude in my opinion.

By all means, leave the date, but have the decency to let him know where he went wrong. Some people struggle with social norms etc and everyone has different boundaries (I have married friends who slept together within hours of meeting and remain extremely happy to this day) so I don’t think he did anything wrong he just did something you didn’t like. Whereas I think anyone walking out on a date without explaining is rude, and actually calling someone out on inappropriate behaviour is one of the only ways to challenge that behaviour. You didn’t owe him an apology or anymore of your time, but I think you could have simply said that him communicating in that way to you made you uncomfortable and you clearly aren’t right for each other.

Agreed

Agreed! Imaging storming out every time your date breaks some arbitrary rule you've invented.

Would it be OK to confirm you were on a similar page regarding sex after 2 hours? 3? Maybe 6 months in? At what point is it OK?

I voted wrong by accident. YANBU. Not even slightly appropriate, even if there was jokey banter beforehand. It revealed his priorities in life though, so at least you didn't waste too much time on someone who wouldn't suit you.

I admire your boundaries and encourage you to keep them strong!

I haven’t dated for a very long time (married) but yes to me it would be inappropriate for a first date and an instant ick. Yanbu not to waste any more time after he’s put you off with something like that.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it crossed your boundary.

Saying that alone wouldn't have me walking off but we all have different limits, after an hour it was time to leave anyway, but was of closed the date down, I need to get home for cat/dog/child reason. I've had countless first dates where I haven't wanted to see them again, they don't get any reaction from me, I just brush it off because we haven't had the same views, compatibility or attraction. It's good to have boundaries but not let them get to you.

You have it in one. He was looking to see how likely a shag was

Absolutely justified, if only because it's clear you're not a match with each other. I think it would have given me the ick too.

If men start asking about sex on a first date unprompted you’re within your rights to end it but Tbh I wouldn’t have given him all that information on a first date. When you start revealing all sorts of intimacies like how long you’ve been single they will start getting cheeky. Giving him info about one stands has led to the sex question. I wouldn’t have been drawn on that whatsoever. My response to questions about how long I’d been single was ‘a little while’ and change the subject. They’re just trying to gauge if you’re crazy or desperate.

So 'giving you the ick' requires walking off without a word, leaving him sitting there?

The OP is fully entitled to end the date. 10 seconds to say why, and goodbye isn't compromising herself really.