my attitude on this 1st date?

Completely ott

yiu could have just said one of your business
or made a joke of it

i think you’ve done him a favour and if you react mine this all the time you’ll still
Be single in 10 years ( which is fine if you want to be £

A lot depends on your prior conversation and his delivery. Only you know what the vibe was.

There's a middle ground between sitting politely and appeasing him while wasting your entire evening, and gathering up your things and walking off without saying a word. When did the world become so black and white, good and bad?

It’s almost like virtue signalling. “Hey mumsnet, look what I did after this man said this to me.” Knowing the pearl clutches will applaud and say you were completely right, he was clearly a rapist.

Great! But why post on AIBU when you’re so clearly not asking if you’re BU?

'Flounce', 'storm'...she just went. Some posters are overdramatising.

People can choose to be celebate for a length of time and that was an intrusive question for OP. I don't want to discuss sex with strangers.

I'd think someone was a right weirdo if they took an interest in my sex life.

Good for you OP! As a teen I'd have stayed, but what's the point. If your firm there's an atmosphere. If it's funny banter you're basically showing its ok.
And then you're still stuck on a date with a man child who will never crawl out of ickville anyway.

I would expect questions like this on dates. Although IME, it will have already been covered before we meet on an actual date. Most people are dating to find sex, ultimately - I have plenty of friends already. How I'd answer would probably depend on how I felt things were going, how the question came up and so on.

But I'm me, not the OP, and we're all fine having different boundaries. I've been happy to have sex on a first date - others don't think it's appropriate to talk about it. I want to know we're good in bed together before I get emotionally invested, because I don't want to start falling for someone only to find out the sex is rubbish. Others need an emotional connection first. But I do think if you're dating, talking about sex isn't unreasonable. You don't have to answer everything though.

Yet you don't find him asking about her sex life rude? He has shown his true colours.

I’d have done exactly the same thing OP. I would have found him asking that much of a personal question after only an hour of first meeting wholly inappropriate, and it would have given me the ICK too.

Walking out was perfectly acceptable given his rudeness. Your past sex life is absolutely non of his business at that stage!

What other people think and deem to be reasonable is up to them - but it’s great that you stuck to YOUR boundaries.

Jesus use your words OP…. Instead you flounced off.

@volie the good old days when you could have a laugh and a bit of banter, I'd have wiped the floor with him 😁

Come on OP - he is allowed to ask you (knowing very well what you would say if you had answered). You have to react in a way that doesn't offend him and sit uncomfortably until the pointless date is over.
Did you think you were the man for a second and able to act on your boundaries?!

(Not serious, as I know someone may end up agreeing with me thinking it is, going by some replies).

How dare a man mention the S word!

Maybe it was just a genuine question. I’d be thinking the same thing if someone told me they were 3 years single.

Also, he might have thought he had a lucky escape as I’d assume you had no interest in sex. Especially with your overreaction of walking out at the mention of the word!

Your reaction was way over the top. Think he dodged a bullet tbh, you seem v uptight about this.

Perhaps he said it tounge in cheek, I did think when you grabbed your bag you were going to.pull a vibrator out and show him what you did. I think you have taken it a little too seriously, I'd have probably laught and told him not to be so nosy.

Well done OP

He was inappropriate & made you feel uncomfortable so you left and crossed him off the list of possibles.

I think people used to have the confidence to bat away questions like this, in a tone that's appropriate for the situation. Firm, humorous, whatever.

But now the default reaction is storming off.

Op just trust that's how.you felt. It's not.for others to determine if everything we do is reasonable or not because different ppl will say different things! I personally agree with you. How rude. It was your first date, and that's an odd thing to think of as being relevant based on the topic. As if no one has ever been single before (and im sorry 3 years is hardly shocking) and as society we are so shocked because "what about sex" erm no... I'm sorry this isn't the first thing that should come to mind. I'm not saying you can't dicuss sex on a first date and so on but I just mean it's literally not the first thing a man should be worried about. Even if you over reacted , so what , that's how you felt and you must have felt uncomfortable, like another poster said good you have such strong boundaries.

🤣🤣🤣

Distasteful and ick inducing question but unbelievably dramatic to just walk out.

I think it's fine OP. And I'm not 'cheerleading'.

What else is there to say, really? He made you feel uncomfortable.

Why not?

I've walked out of all sorts of first dates because I didn't like what a guy said.

One said he liked hunting with dogs, another said I was 'odd' because I was a veggie, another asked if my bedroom had plenty of "soft red rope", another said he didn't believe in "safe sex" - I could give a list but you get the idea.

At the time I was working a 40 hour week and wasn't prepared to waste time with someone who wasn't on the same page as I was.

I think talking positions and what you might like to do is better than asking about previous partners. I can’t see anything fun or “cheeky” about asking if you’ve been having ONS