my attitude on this 1st date?

You say that, but you've gone very strongly the other way -cutting out anything immediately. Saying something isn't deflecting, people pleasing, etc.
Maybe the drudgery of online dating is getting to you? 😄

I would think he was flirting on a date. I'd have laughed and said "well it's amazing what you can get on the Internet". But if he gave you the ick then no problem that you left. Be the way, I don't think there is any way a date is supposed to go - DH met, had a drink, went to his and had sex. Still together 30 years later.

Exactly.

@ricollete Giving you the benefit of the doubt here - maybe you've had sexual trauma or other issues that have caused this reaction.

There are some things that are obviously rude and crass. An obviously racist remark for example ("XX race is stupid"). But IMO this could have been misconstrued.

You're didn't have to lecture /embarrass him just say that the comment is uncomfortable and you no longer wish to continue with the date. That's all.

Anyway, I see no further point in posting here, you're very convinced that you're right. And if you don't get it what others are trying to say, well... you don't.

FYI I'm no shrinking violet - I'm quite blunt and take swift action. I don't flounce, however. And I don't have a black and white view of the world - actions aren't either GOOD or BAD like in a fairy-tale - there are many shades of grey.

Sometimes not saying a word is the best form of communication. In this case, there was nothing left to be said - OP behaved very practically.

Women need to stop just saying something because that's "polite" - rude, crass men need not to be graced with politeness.

Why bother? You turned him off like you turn off a TV? What a way to talk.

He’s a human being OP. With feelings and flaws. The more you write the less I’m on your side.

It’s perfectly reasonable to have boundaries and enforce them. It’s perfectly reasonable to find sex talk inappropriate that early on. But I find this seemingly new ethos of blocking/walking out/ghosting really weird and self-interested.

Did you not give any thought to how crushing it is for a human being to be so roundly, wordlessly and publicly rejected like that, the humiliation that must have caused him? He shouldn’t have caused you discomfort like that, but your offense to him was disproportionate.

You were well within your rights to flag to him how rude he was, how uncomfortable he was making you. But that kind of dramatic rejection and humiliation is something that is likely to have cut him very deeply, and very personally, in a way his remarks to you didn’t.

Everyone is so dramatic these days and, quite frankly, self-interested. “If you slight me in any small way I will block you and reject you with no conversation about it at all, and with no regard to how that feels for you, or the longer term effects of this on you.”

I think it’s awful.

Because he might have backtracked and apologised? Tone is everything here and as PP said it might have been a semi-serious question that he didn't really expect you to answer. If it made YOU uncomfortable you were right to end the date.
I'd personally have laughed it off and taken it in jest. And I've been a victim of sexual assault. If he carried on digging despite you indicating your discomfort I'd say walking out is completely justified. But not this.

A bit ott in my opinion.

Maybe you weren't that into him from the start? Would the question have offended you if he was the super hot man of your dreams? 🤷

He wasn't polite, OP had no obligation to explain to him why she was leaving. Her asserting herself and not laughing it off and being uncomfortable was probably a surprise to him, but I'm sure he will have figured it out.

I mean, if someone had said that to me I'd have just laughed and refused to answer. I think he was flirting tbh

You're not wrong for ending the date OP but grabbing your things and walked out silently was a bit over the top. Why couldn't you say the question was unacceptable and you're ending the date now?

If you’re happy with your decision as you say upthread then there’s nothing to see here.

your friend thinks differently and fair enough that’s up to them if they’d been in that situation. You did what’s right for you in it. End of story.

I used to make all the types of excuses for men that many on this thread are doing.

Then I had an abusive relationship, and healing from that taught me how it had been clear from the start - as in the very first conversation - who he was, but I'd kept on excusing him.

Abusers always begin with a small boundary push right off the bat. They don't want to waste time on people like the OP, who have firm boundaries.

I'd have wrapped the evening up there and then too. He made it clear who he was in that one comment, so why waste any more time.

Being single isn't a terrible thing, and it's way better to be single than stuck with someone who is at best a tactless person who doubtless would have used the word 'banter' in response to anything OP had to say.

Assuming he's not an absolute complete moron, he sounds like a weird perv hoping to get you to chat about your masturbation habits. Quite right to walk out.

Did you not find him attractive in person, and this comment was your 'out'?
I think if I'd have found him attractive, I'd have laughed at that comment and said something like 'that's none of your business!' and watched his reaction.

I probably wouldn’t have been too bothered by the question personally, but I understand how it would put others off. Most people are hoping for a sexual partner, maybe he was very clumsily checking you weren’t celibate or have no sex drive. I wouldn’t have left, if I was offended I might have said so, like that’s a bit too personal for a first date. He may have apologised and been embarrassed. Or maybe not but you’d know either way. I know for a fact I’ve said things without a filter before. If I’d upset someone without realising I’d want to know and have the chance to apologise. If you just sensed he wasn’t a good fit or he gave you the ick then no point in hanging around!!

Personally I'd have raised an eyebrow and maybe made a sarky comment but wouldn't have been especially offended by the question. But as someone who has simply got up and walked out of a restaurant mid-date (he said something racist), if that's your boundary than more power to you for sticking to it. It's not a question you can casually ask someone who've only just met without expecting that it might be taken badly.