To think that middle aged lesbians seem more sorted and happy than other folk?

Not real life, I admit, but while recently watching 'And just like that', it did occur to me that Miranda, a RL lesbian had not only aged best, but also seemed much the most relaxed and comfortable in her own skin. Sjp, had the grumpiest face throughout ; 'Widowhood' notwithstanding, and her eyes were dead most of the time, as though someone had only recently informed her of the fact of getting old. It was painful too, to watch Charlotte's 'try hard' acting style. So perhaps you're right ! Nothing more stressful and aging than refusing to become who you really are.

I don't see how that makes things any better though. Lesbian relationships have the same rate of domestic violence as heterosexual relationships. That's not exactly a win for women.

It’s also sometimes the more middle-class middle-aged crowd? I have a few friends, who are lovely people, who lead pretty chaotic lives and are in same-sex long term relationships. But it’s the external factors in their lives and the knock on of trauma early on.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You clearly don't know any . .

I think there is still a lesbian tax. On the whole women earn less than men, so two female salaries on average will be less than two male salaries. I look around the area I live and I know a few gay male couples but the lesbian couples I know couldn’t afford to live in my area.

I had lesbian envy when I went through a hugely horrible divorce from an utter fuckwit.
I was (and still am) totally done with men and their selfish, lazy, dominating ways.
I spoke to a friend and her wife about it as I seriously pondered trying online dating with women.
Their advice was that although lesbian couples don’t generally have the same issues they certainly have issues all of their own.

Gay men don't marry very much in the first place, so when they do they're more lilely to be unusually committed. They're also much more lilely to agree to an open relationship to solve sexual boredom issues, which probs reduces cheating & therfore divorce.

In hetero couples, 70% of the time women initiate divorce, so it makes sense it would happen more for lesbian couples.

Also lesbians have by far the highest divorce rate - way above those of heterosexual couples and gay men

I’m a middle aged lesbian and I wouldn’t describe myself as “sorted” at all. I have a good job and lovely kids, which is something. But my wife cheated on me and left me - following all the MN-standard steps of “The Script” (lying, gaslighting, telling me and everyone else that it was my fault, I’d made her do it), the divorce was horrendous, and now I’m too guarded to date or even contemplate another relationship.

I do have some lesbian friends who have happy relationships but I wouldn’t describe their relationships as in any way different to those of my hetero friends. They still have the same issues around money, whose job is more important (arguments over childcare) etc.

Someone in their 80s now was coming of age in the 1960s, someone in their 70s was coming of age in the 70s. Ofc there was much misogyny, homophobia, etc but women before then were able to have jobs and live independently. Often low-paying, but high-paying was possible too.

Don't forget the spinster generation (due to WW1) lived independently through the 1920s and 30s, or shared homes with friends

And the 60s and esp the 70s was when women's liberation was expanding career opportunities

I was in a relationship with a woman. She turned out to be a narcissistic bitch who quite frankly, ruined my MH.
I'm much happier with a man atm.
I'm middle aged. Same sex relationships are not that different or special.

They don’t have to suffer male bullshit so that’s gotta knock years off them.
The only lesbian couple I know, one is currently fighting cancer and the world seems pretty shit and I sorted for them at the moment tbh.

One of my best friend is a lesbian and seems very happy in her relationship, her and her wife are both very chill people, but they have many friends who are lesbians who are not and have just as much drama in their lives as some straight people. Hardly surprising that everyone is different.

Any violence is terrible.

However, I just find it really hard to believe that stat. Biologically, men are more aggressive on average due to hormones, most violent crime is by men. This seems well-established.

So why do those stats appear to show equal violence?

I'm open to having my mind changed - I'd just be curious to know how that ties in with biology.

I know it's annoying - but in this case I'm fed up with seeing that study referenced to claim wrongly that lesbians have the highest DV rates. It's not 'arguing the toss' - it's objectively wrong

So many MRAs on SM are using that harmfully to smear lesbians & women as a whole. I know that wasn't what was going on here, at all, but on principle I always correct that misinformation whenever I see it.

I know it's annoying - but in this case I'm fed up with seeing that study referenced to claim wrongly that lesbians have the highest DV rates. It's not 'arguing the toss' - it's objectively wrong

So many MRAs on SM are using that harmfully to smear lesbians & women as a whole. I know that wasn't what was going on here, at all, but on principle I always correct that misinformation whenever I see it.

I was confused as to how this popped up in 'threads I'm on' when I didn't remember commenting, only to see that you cranked up an 18 month old thread just to argue the toss with someone who has no doubt forgotten all about it.

Whyyyyy do people do this?

Fyi most of the middleaged and older lesbians I know have kids- it's not at all unusual. They used friendly arrangements and DIY not clinics.

Is there a particular reason you resurrected a nearly 18 months old thread, @AliasGrace47 ?

On the subject of domestic violence, I came across a surprising statistic recently. In heterosexual couples where only one side ever initiates physical violence, women are twice as likely as men to be the violent one. (This was a USA statistic.)

Also interesting was that in more than half of relationships where there is violence, both sexes initiate it.

The same source did note that DV that resulted in visits to hospital or courts was almost always initiated by men though.

No, we have to put up with women and their bullshit.

Just to note on abuse, that's not actually true.. unfortunately domestic violence is a real problem in lesbian relationships.

That study is quoted all over the place. But it's been analysed and found that the lesbians in the study had equivalent DV rates to hetero couples when you excluded DV while in relationships with men before coming out

Yes of course! Just think of the fun to be had guessing 😁