To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

You need to find her a new school, pronto. I appreciate it might not be easy or convenient but you are failing your daughter by subjecting her to this place.

I wouldn’t let my child have a detention for this let alone take away phone/privileges.

You’ve done enough, it’s not like she’s murdered someone.

Good grief this school sounds like it’s back in the dark ages!

It worries me that so many parents follow schools so much they dont even realise when the rules are batshit crazy!
A detention, losing free time, for putting a pin in slightly the wrong place.
A detention for wanting to hydrate (the horror)
And another for forgetting something once!

The only positive is how many people on this post see how totally over the top this is, but you so often read how parents enforce these ridiculous rules, just as you were fully willing to do.

You were considering, even a small amount, stopping your Daughter exercising, which not only directly affects her pain levels but directly contradicts what we are told to do for health and wellbeing, for things that were really minor.

I think this is a good point to have a think about what made you almost going along with this insanity at all, rather than ask the school what on earth makes them think this is reasonable.

I never want to be that parent that questions everything, but I think there is a time and place to follow rules but this is absolutely bonkers. The things our children do growing up affect their whole lives, do you really want a large chunk of her childhood to be following such absolutely bonkers rules, scared to have a sip of water or not put a pin in exactly the right spot?

I am all for education but not at the cost of our childrens wellbeing and mental health and rules like that could end up having a detrimental effect.

Is this school Dotheboy's Hall by any chance? It sounds like a terrible school to me - very unkind and uncaring. I echo what many others have said - is there any chance of changing schools, preferably to a normal 5-11 primary school?

I'm curious to know what kind of life this school is preparing these children for... 🤔

There's not many life experiences I can think of, that this might be useful preparation for - here's a couple I could think of though:

• Life in a maximum-security prison
• The life of an Olympic athlete, competing for an authoritarian communist state
• A hostage taken by a country with shocking disregard for people's human rights

I would love to see the headmaster sitting in detention for daring to take a sip of drink outside of the decreed permissible 90-minute drinking window.

Or being made to stay behind, in solitary confinement after work, for forgetting to wear his tie clip.

When will we wake up to the fact that children deserve basic human rights as well.

I wouldn’t be taking away any of the activities, those are stupid things to give detentions over!

I’m really sorry but this ⬆️

what is going on here. You are her parents you decide what to do. I’d not be removing anything. I’d have a restorative conversation around appropriate behaviour at school. End of. Nod and tell school thanks you’ll consider your options. The end

This school sounds appalling.
I think you need to re think as to whether these punishments fit the 'crime'.
If it were my child, I'd be looking for another school.

Don’t stop ANY of her activities, she got detention and that’s enough, school is over steppping their position by telling you to stop everything and take phones etc away! Tell them to jog on

I wouldn't stop any of the activities. Her punishment was the detentions, no need to punish her again (for such ridiculous reasons that got her the detentions in the first place)!

Bloody hell, do you always blindly do what people in positions of authority tell you to?
I think it’s time you learned to advocate for your child and do what you think is is right.

... what the heck did she do?! Murder the class hamster?!
This is really cr**, lazy parenting strategies by school... but to urge you to do the same is just awful

I think prison is much more lenient and has more respect for the inmates!!

I would treat this activity more as a medical appointment with a physio. The teacher/ school wouldn't expect you to cancel that. So no way also your child you choose the punishment not the teacher. Do they know everything your child does 24/7. I wouldn't have told them about it TBH.

My 11yo is heading to a specialist provision for high school and I’m just so happy he won’t have to deal with all this bollocks.

But the things they do - it’s actually what would benefit every child regardless of any SEN. Smaller classes, time out if overwhelmed, access to outside areas when needed, toilets for each year group accessible as necessary, ability to personalise their desks. Tailored syllabus, no detentions, no homework until y10.

Imagine if all schools were more nurturing and less like prison camps.

I would go absolutely ballistic that they even suggested I take away an activity that relives pain. I would be removing my child from this school. It is far too punitive.

I get that she's in a middle system but most 9 year olds are in primary where detentions aren't even a thing. At 9 the stuff shes done, she should just be getting a reminder ffs. These kind of rules will either make her the biggest rebel going (hopefully) or break her spirit. Its school, not the bloody army. Honestly, when you mentioned drinking I thought shes been caught with yodka in her water bottle. No way on earth would i be stopping after school activites for these "crimes" the detention is bad enough, and as for the teacher telling you she cant do her "yoga" cos there's a social element, she'd have been (politely) told that isn't happening. Looking forward to the update when you tell us you've put her in a nice primary.

Sorry:DDs

Is this one of those barking mad academy schools? In my opinion, none of your DSs infringements even deserve a detention and certainly not the removal of outside activities. Why on earth are you even thinking of that? Someone asked what punishment might be imposed for more serious rule breaking: I can tell you. We have a school like this in our area (think named after the capital of Greece), a friend's DS received a 40 minute detention because his ruler wasn't transparent, another boy received the same punishment for fighting.
What message are we sending to our DC? These schools seem to be governed by ideologically driven bullies. I would find another school ASAP and urge anyone else sending their DC to a school such as this to think again.

Fwiw, OP, I mentioned this thread to DH who used to be chair of Governers at a local school & his instant response was 'take her out'.

They can't tell you what to do out of school, just ignore them 😂

My DD's school is also the only one in our city (and surrounding towns) with no blazer and tie. It beats all the comprehensives and even some of the grammars. Not surprising as the DC are happy. And they are the smartest looking as well!

I cooperate with the school - of course but school would never be able to dictate us to deprive the child of activities during out of school hours.
And a medically based and necessary activity? - it's 100% up to us.