To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

Being given a detention for any of these things is unnecessary and in my opinion abusive. Everyone should have access to water whenever they need it as the brain simply doesn't function properly dehydrated. These policies are discriminatory against neurodivergent individuals in particular as they don't have the executive functioning skills necessary to complete these tasks independently. An average nine year old doesn't have those skills either. I would be looking for a new school personally and I certainly wouldn't withdraw any extra curricular activity or my child's phone.

Tell the form tutor to do one, talk about overstepping the mark. If they know about your child's medical condition that requires her to participate in a 'yoga' class to help alleviate her symptoms, to suggest taking that away from her is cruel. In fact, reading why your child was given detentions in the first place, all seems unduly harsh and I would not take away outside activities. What do they expect you to do, tar and feather her in the school yard?

This is utterly bonkers, for far too many reasons to list. The main ones for me though are: what will the school resort to as a punishment for serious offences, where the behaviour has actually impacted on someone?? And crucially, what impact is this over the top approach going to have on your daughter’s mental health? Such an exaggerated set of punishments will slowly chip away at your daughter’s confidence.

The school clearly prioritises the qualities of obedience and organisation in their pupils. You may not have much choice in what school your daughter attends but that doesn’t mean you have to embrace these values in your home. What qualities do you want to encourage in your daughter? Do you agree that the offences committed are worthy of continued punishment at home?

It’s easy to get swept up in a school’s culture and feel like their way of doing things is the right way - I think it’s great that your instincts questioned this situation enough to post on here. It won’t do your daughter any good for you to be openly challenging of the school in front of her but that doesn’t mean you have to be blindly supportive. It will be a tough one to navigate but I think your instincts are spot on and have opened you up to the need to advocate for your daughter in situations where the school clearly hasn’t prioritised her well-being.

How ridiculous I would not stop any of her activities for these trivial things!!!

If my kids receive sanctions at school then I will back the school with their stance. I may also give an additional sanction at home BUT that will be for me to decide only, not school.

We don’t double punish. Never have. Your child has a school punishment. Doesn’t need a second one

No. This is essentially physio, she needs to go.

I'm also not ok with the discipline heavy approach of the school, how dud she get 3 detentions, and why aren't they asking if she needs support? Hardline punishments are not constructive.

I'd be looking for a new school. This is overly controlling and damaging. you can't punish a child into behaviour that they aren't developmentally capable of, nor for drinking water. It's a borderline abuse of power and comes from an inherent fear of free will. She needs you to have her back and be her island of reason. I'd not be removing any activities and challenging such an archaic and behaviourist approach with contemporary science and common fucking sense.

The school doesn't have the right to tell you what to do in your privates lives outside of school.
That said, the punishment meted out is excessive and cruel.

What happens in school needs dealing with in school, if what they did in school affects outside school then repercussions will happen, if not carry on the activities especially the one for health reasons.

Keeping children dehydrated, isolated and anxious is not discipline. Teacher's should have a backbone and refuse to carry out policies that put their students at risk of harm. You need to take your chils out of that school before they destroy her health and well being.

I think the school is totally over-reacting, the suggestions seem unbelievably harsh, I would chat with your daughter about following rules at school, drinking in the corridor, and making sure she has everything she needs before leaving for school.

As a retired secondary school teacher (and parent of two children who were educated through the state education system), I am horrified by the scale of punishments for (very minimal, hardly worth talking about) incidents of misbehaviour. The Form Teacher's approach was unacceptable as regards the 'yoga' as well. Personally I'd have said our child has paid for these minor mistakes, but we think no other punishment is required or necessary.

I wouldn't cancel anything. Detention is the punishment - To take everything away is just cruel, in my opinion. Especially for the sanctions you've mentioned. I'd be looking for another school, to be honest.

I’m not being funny here, but how you raise your child is none of the schools business. I also feel that her detentions were pretty harsh anyway. And, if I’m honest, I think a talking to and maybe at the most, the loss of her phone for a night is enough punishment at that age for really pretty small (and pretty petty) misdemeanours.
Personally your school is ridiculous for only allowing water at break and drink, they seem to be forgetting that they are dealing with children - and unless they can go a whole year without forgetting something at all they should get a grip about the key and a simple reminder to move the house pin would have been sufficient. The school sounds draconian and I’d be looking elsewhere.
Do I think you’re wrong for not taking away the yoga type activity? Absolutely not, do I think you’re wrong with the punishments you’ve put in place? Yes, sorry… overly harsh considering. Do I think your school is wrong. Definitely, absolutely yes!

Absolutely DO NOT stop this activity. I don’t know why you’d even ask for a second opinion.

you are her mother? You know the impact this activity has on your daughter. Always be your daughter’s champion!

This is a disgusting way to treat children. Girls especially as most will start their period during these years. The ones, who start early, meaning from around year 5, need extra care whilst they try to grapple with periods.

I can only think these rules were implemented by men, who have no concept of what it is like to be a tween / teen girl.

Wtf have I just read.

After school detention for a year 5 child?

School expect you to take their after school activities away?
Are they having a laugh? I wouldn't take any of the after school activities away. Nor the phone. Tbh I wouldn't even be sending my child to this school. None of this is age appropriate.

School need to stay in their lane and you need to stick up for your child and stop this nonsense, it's harmful.

This. The school sounds abusive. Do they also make children stand on a stool in the classroom with a dunce’s hat on and feed them gruel? I would be protecting my 9 year old as far as possible from this, including informing her she hasn’t really done anything wrong, and looking for a place at a new, kinder school.

@TeabySea Tie pin - in the whole scheme of things not detention worthy. Maybe some sort of warning/sanction and then a follow up (3 strikes and 'earn' a detention) type punishment.

Seriously? It was a couple of inches away from where it should have been - I wouldn’t care how many times a child did that, firstly because I wouldn’t actually notice and secondly because the placement of a pin doesn’t affect anyone’s learning.

I wouldn’t punish a child for forgetting a locker key either - these things happen, and she’s 9! - but if she didn’t have any of her books for that day, that would actually have impacted her learning. The pin wouldn’t, however many times she did it.

I wouldn’t take any measures to discipline her out of school for such minor misdemeanors.

This. The school is mad!

THIS ^

Why is the school making such a performance out of this?
Its so mean minded to look at things she's enjoyed or benefitted from out of school and taken them away from her for such pathetic reasons.

DO NOT take anything away from her!!!

She made mistakes in school and paid the price in school. She knows you know about it. That should be the end of it.

I used to be a primary school teacher and taught your DD's age group. We would always treat misbehaviour at the time it happened. When children go out to play and come back in, we start afresh.

And regardless....We were told to encourage children to sip water throughout the day. Forgetting her key? Punishment is in the act - she wouldn't have had her stuff and all day had to borrow which would have been negative socially, putting her mistake on public display. As for the pin? Give me strength! Was she given a reminder? School is over-reacting.

Let her do choir - it's good for the soul and her confidence. Those minor infractions shouldn't have such over the top consequences. Let her do ALL her activities and let her have her phone. PLEASE!

I now work as a researcher in education and what I've seen in England makes me certain I don't want my own child educated there!

I'd have said bugger off for the reasons for the first two. Have none of the adults there never forgotten anything? As for the drinking - absolutely ridiculous.

Tie pin - in the whole scheme of things not detention worthy. Maybe some sort of warning/sanction and then a follow up (3 strikes and 'earn' a detention) type punishment.

The school sounds draconian.

As for stopping activities out of school - no way at all. They can fuck right off with that.