To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

With falling school rolls, people really need to vote with their feet and take their children out of ridiculous schools like this. Hitting them in the pocket is the only way they are going to change.

Yeah, I probably wasn’t clear enough in my sarcastic post - I don’t support schools with rules like this either. I think they are awful and unjustifiable for all children. However, there do seem to be people who support these methods and this support seems to drop suddenly when these methods are no longer aimed at ‘other’ children but at their own.

I think the teacher needs to be on report, perhaps detention. What in the world does the teacher think she is doing, child has a medical condition as well. need to come up with a sensible action/s

"1 detention was for forgetting her locker key so she couldn't get any of her stuff (they didn't give her a chance to call me to bring it in as a one off I'd do this as I wfh)
1 detention was for being caught drinking out her bottle in the corridor between lessons (drinks only allowed at break and lunchtime)
1 detention for not wearing her houses pin on her tie (it was on her blazer lapel)"

Detention on its on for these "infringements" is way too harsh imo. And I am a strict parent. I would definitely not be curtailing activities outside of school in addition or applying any additional punishment outside of school for such minor rule breaking. Detention is more than enough.

And whatever she had done I would not be stopping an activity the purpose of which was to manage a health condition and might result in my child being in pain. Under any circumstances.

Not only would I not punish my child further for these so called ‘infractions’, but I’d be ripping the school a new one, for administering these detentions for such ridiculous things in the first place!

I agree it’s over strict, however parents expect schools to mediate is rows on social media that occur on the weekends and this is the corollary of that.

FUCKING HELL.

Just came across this thread.

Poor DD, going to an actual prison every day.

Op you should be ashamed of yourself for complying with this and agreeing to any kind of punishment for forgetting things. Do I get punished when I occasionally forget to bring my work pass or my laptop charger to the office? No I don’t.

Awful school and awful parenting here.

Jesus Christ.

A child commits a misdemeanour of some sort at school, and the school, in turn, issue a punishment. This punishment is detention. Why then, would you punish your child a second time, or even a third and fourth time, for the same misdemeanour? Your child has already been punished for whatever they did, they do not need to be continually punished for the next week for it! If it were my child, I'd be telling the teacher where they could put their request!

"1 detention was for forgetting her locker key so she couldn't get any of her stuff (they didn't give her a chance to call me to bring it in as a one off I'd do this as I wfh)
1 detention was for being caught drinking out her bottle in the corridor between lessons (drinks only allowed at break and lunchtime)
1 detention for not wearing her houses pin on her tie (it was on her blazer lapel)"

Fuck that. What ridiculous petty reasons for detention. The water thing in particular is not ok, access to water is important. I'd be having a serious conversation about unnecessary dictatorial bullshit in the school rules, I'd definitely not be disciplining my child for any of this, and I'd be considering changing schools.

I am no fan of Ms Birbalsingh. However, her argument to justify the rules at her prison camp school were originally that the children were in fear of their lives and were unable to function due to the threat of being stabbed or attacked in the corridor and teenagers running amok in lessons. I have no idea if that is that case but if it was then I can (sort of) understand how an extremely strict regime has benefitted the children who want to learn. A better system would be tackling the root causes of why such a large proportion of children are so angry and disengaged, but that takes time and more emotional intelligence than I credit that woman with.

However, applying it to a school where discipline is already good enough to stop major behaviour issues, or where the population does consist of, as you put it "Emilys" is completely unjustifiable- it's just straight up bullying. I have an Emily (not her name but close enough) myself, and if she forgot her locker key she'd already be extremely upset and blame herself, and external punishment would not only be completely unnecessary but also crush her emotionally.

Wow, no, tell school to piss off. They want to dictate her out of school life, but you bet if something happens, bullying etc, to her out of school involving other pupil/s, they’ll wash their hands of it because it’s out of their jurisdiction.

I don’t like the sound of this school. The consequences of playing up in school is detention, and probably a bollocking at home as well, not the removal of unrelated activities. Kids need things that make them feel good about themselves, and removing them as punishment for unrelated stuff creates resentment, and does harm, not good.

Christ - I’ve just remembered the child ahead of me was explaining her mum was sick and it was hard to get in that morning.

I feel really sad thinking about it now.

My mum died when I was 19, did lots wrong and our relationship was complex but by god did she show me how to stand up for myself.

I’ll never forget a day in primary school when they implemented a rule that if you were late, even by 1 minute, you had to go and explain yourself to the headteacher. I was 7 and we were a bit late as my mum was pregnant and we were a bit slower walking.

Kids were still hanging up their coats so I wasn’t late by any real measure.

My classroom teacher came and told me (not my mum who was with me) I’d have to go to Mrs Norris to explain myself and I started crying.

My mum took me up and I stood in awe of her as she told the head exactly why what she was doing was unacceptable, that she had no right and that she was taking me home as I was too upset to stay. She was calm, articulate, didn’t raise her voice but was very firm and clearly meant business.

The whole nonsense was stopped the next day but that one incident is seared on my mind nearly 40 years later and she showed me that you don’t let these people scare and intimidate you and you can stand your ground firmly and effectively without shouting or getting irate.

She is undoubtedly why I have been able to advocate for myself from young and Christ what a gift that has been.

This thread has made me feel really sad. Sad that there are still schools that focus on punishing children (for nothing!) and ruining their self confidence rather than building them up and helping them to build their physical and mental well being. It's 2024 FFS. Tell the school to get stuffed and find a new one.

Ah but that’s when these schools and their rules were meant for OTHER people’s children, you see. For inner city kids, or working class kids, for those whose families didn’t know better, who needed sorting out. NOT for delicate middle-class Emily’s 🙄

I would be removing from the school. This is completely ridiculous, she's 9!!

My year 6 forgot his maths homework this week - I know he did it, just forgot to take it, and I forgot to remind him. Nothing happened - and I wouldn't expect it to! Kids forget stuff all the time. And not being able to drink water?? Insane! I thought you were going to say bullying/fighting/rudeness!! I wouldn't have followed through on any punishments at home for this ☹️

Yes I agree and this is how systemic institutional abuse is allowed to flourish and continue. Everyone involved has a part to play, and in this case the school had enrolled the parents to continue the abuse outside of the school building and hours. It's incredibly sad that parents have bought into this mentality.

I think she's being unreasonable to be in collaboration with the school instead of protecting her daughter to begin with.

The reasons for detention are batshit crazy. Why are you accepting this?

I got to the fourth paragraph where you say school wants you to do further punishments by removing after school activities and didn't need to read any further. The school is being ridiculous!!!! I'd be telling them to get stuffed. Detention is the punishment. You don't need further punishment. YABU for taking away two after school activities already, you shouldn't be taking any away.

" I mean, try and address what is causing the detentions. That’s concerning."

1 detention was for forgetting her locker key so she couldn't get any of her stuff (they didn't give her a chance to call me to bring it in as a one off I'd do this as I wfh)
1 detention was for being caught drinking out her bottle in the corridor between lessons (drinks only allowed at break and lunchtime)
1 detention for not wearing her houses pin on her tie (it was on her blazer lapel)

Yes the reasons for detention are crazily concerning.

Wouldn’t stop a single one of them. They’ve got no jurisdiction out of school. I mean, try and address what is causing the detentions. That’s concerning.

Me too! Maybe they work at the school😄

Welcome to St Trinian's.

Tell the teacher to go and get stood on.

The thought of them trying to stop your DDs yoga is cruel, the effects of their actions is to cause physical pain to a young child. Even if she had bullied another kid which she may not have done. They must not turn a blind eye to this because it could result in a safeguarding concern.

As her mum, I am sure you will stand your ground.

What planet are they on?