To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

The school sounds insane, no way would I be complicit in this nonsense. I'd be looking at other schools.

Why are you punishing your child for breaking such arbitrary rules? U.K. schools are overreaching in their discipline currently because it's all about trying to maintain control against all odds. Don't support it. Personally I don't care if my kid gets a million comments for such things. I've told him I'll only ever be concerned if he's been cruel or disrespectful.

WTAF is this nonsense.

You need to stand up for your child, not remove holistic things which benefit her.

For those nothings I wouldn't stop anything at home.
A teacher asking you to punish your child in a way that will lead to increased physical pain is way out of order, but frankly nothing she has done is worth more than a quick telling off.

This is the sort of crap schools come out with that means people see school and teachers as the enemy and helps nobody.

A detention for drinking when thirsty? Really?

Bull.

Fucking madness.

OP, it’s not your fault. I think you’ve fallen in with wanting to support the school and that usually isn’t wrong, but right now, it is.

I know what chronic pain is. It started with migraines when I was 17. Then it was sores they couldn’t explain when I was 25. Then it was trouble breathing they couldn’t explain when I was 30. Now they can explain them all, and I’m dying at 39.

Your little one is 9. She has pain.
It is literally madness to punish her for such small infractions. Do you know what it feels like to have to push a boulder up a hill, every single day of your life, while ALSO trying to do all the same things as everyone else? Honestly, I think she’s amazing for doing as well as she has, and only forgetting these petty little things at school three times. So, two things I would say to you.

1. Give her everything back. Her phone. Her activities. Sometimes the social component is all that a child has to look forward to, when they feel like they’re different or less than or they keep making mistakes and being put in detention. She has done nothing wrong.
2. Start advocating for her more strongly. First of all, she should be able to drink water whenever she wants - staying hydrated is a huge factor in almost every illness I can name that causes pain, whether it’s nerve/joint/muscle/bone/organ pain, all of it. And tell school that you appreciate their ideas on punishment, but you’re very of your daughter, and you won’t be punishing her further when she’s doing her very best.

I wouldn't stop any of the activities.

They can get to fuck. By all means enforce school rules in school, no matter how petty, but don't expect at home punishments. They're better off investigating why she can't reliably do these things (on their side, not just hers. They must have very well attended detention sessions)

Gosh. As someone who would usually side with school rules (as in if you choose to send your child to the school, you should support their rules regarding uniform etc), these are ridiculous. Only allowed to sip water at lunch and break??? It sounds a very controlling place based on its rules and expectations that a child misses outside activities for breaking these over the top rules. Is it in the UK?

Outside activities are such a great thing for children’s well being and all roundedness. I can’t believe they expect you to stop them!
Personally, I’d be looking for a better school- it might be good in terms of results perhaps, but it sounds awful in a lot of other ways.

Is the headteacher Professor Umbridge? Because that's what that description makes me think of. If they expected me to cancel a child's activities because of those "offences", they could jog on.

As a teacher (and mum of 4 now adult children) this is utter madness! They have absolutely no right to tell you how to bring up your child. I'd be complaining or moving my child.

Can I please urge you not to take a single thing away from her these are ridiculous things.

us as adults need and want a drink when we want and in every job I’ve had I get a drink when I want.

in every job I’ve had I’ve forgotten something from time to time and it hasn’t affected me.

thirdly again I’ve had to wear lanyards before long and forgotten it again an easy mistake to make.

god help me when my child is school age if any school tries to do this to my child. Absolutely not happening she essentially has done nothing at all wrong. We all do no different and I bet these asss holes inforcing these abhorrent things have forgotten things were able to drink when they wanted.. it angers me enough to really hate the fact I can’t home school my child In 2026

No. Yanbu. I am usually strict about these things but this is medicinal.

Absolutely not.

I am a great believer of supporting schools and teachers but over my dead body would I be removing activities that keep my child healthy over minor misdemeanours.

In all honesty, I would be giving them no punishment at home as it sounds like it has been dealt with in school.

It is a 9 year old and a uniform infraction. School need to get a grip.

Why the fuck have you put your daughter in this awful awful school.

Is it that mental one run by that awful awful woman Katharine Birbalsingh

Jeezo.

Send her to "yoga" and tell teacher to mind her own damm business

The detention reasons are ludicrous. Absolutely ludicrous.

And they expect you to then stop after school activities, which are none of their business, as well as one that reduces her pain?

Absolutely not. The detentions suffice but getting one for having a drink of water? Absolutely fucking shocking in my opinion.

What sort of school is your DD is at?! Are you paying for this shit? Bloody hell, it sounds like a juvenile delinquents facility. I would not stop any of the activities and tell the school to fuck off. And would not put my child into a school that gives detentions to 9 year olds.
Edited - DETENTION FOR A 9YO FOR DRINKING WATER!! This is insane.

I think both you and the teacher are bing unreasonable. Teacher is completely over stepping the mark on all counts but I think you are batshit crazy to stop any activities on the say so if the teacher. She has done the detention, that is enough for the minor crap that she’s been given detentions for. You are both being way too harsh.

I completely agree. This kind of draconian, authoritarian approach may get superficial compliance but will do nothing positive for development. Awful school. Not even adhering to good behavioural theory. Just being overly punishing. Would probably bring back the cane if they could!

I'd move school!

Everything I've read about child development recommends not stopping extra curricular activities as they offer a route out if poor/negative behaviour.

To suggest this for forgetting a key is bonkers!

WTAF, of course you should not take away ‘yoga’, in fact you should not be dictated to by the school at all in terms of the consequences you decide are appropriate for your child. They have already given your child a detention for breaking the rules, that should be the end of it. I’m all for schools and parents working together when there are behavioural issues that need addressing, but this goes way beyond what is normal and acceptable.

I'd be changing schools tbh

Those are ridiculous reasons for any detention at any age.
Jeez, how many people can say they have never forgotten anything? And I thought restrictions on drinking through the day had gone out years ago and drinking regularly was encouraged?

For the school to be even suggesting additional sanction on top of detention is outrageous.

WTAF?! My son went to a middle school, now in senior school- consistently in top 10 independents in U.K. re GCSE and A Level results. Academic as fuck and they run a tight ship, high expectations etc. Getting in is hard- a lot of exams and interviews.

What they don’t do is waste their time on this kind of shit. I value education enormously but I would be finding an alternative school if this is the soul breaking type of dross they are focusing their (and the children’s) energy on.