To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

The school are being ridiculously over the top here. I wouldn’t be taking away any of the extracurricular activities at all.

Totally agree with this.

This cannot be real, You are supposed to be your child's protector. Tell the school to F right off and start looking for a new school first thing tomorrow.

That's dreadful. So this isn't even bad behaviour. I feel so sorry for her.

The school ks way over the top here.

Your child has been punished at school by having detentions. That's plenty for the things she did wrong in my opinion (former teacher here). Even if extra punishment was required at home, it would be up to you to decide what that is.

I'd be considering whether another school is better for her.

What on earth has she done so bad that deserves all that? Murdered someone? You'd take away an Easter concert that means so much to her? That is cruel.

And school are telling you to punish her by removing a therapeutic activity so she is in pain?? I'd be removing her from the school and reporting the sadistic teacher. The school sounds awful. All these detentions and then trying to make parents punish them too - for a 9yo?? The school punishments sound over the top as it is but why would you then punish them further at home?? You'll damage your relationship with your DC if you carry on like that.

Let her go to her activities, give her back her phone and have her back while you look for a new school.

YABVU for even considering this! WTF??! I wouldn’t be stopping her other activities either.

I was imagining all sorts of things she might have done. I can't believe they are making such a fuss about minor things. We had strict school rules like never being seen outside school grounds with our cardigans showing. You either had to take it off or cover it with the blazer. But the idea that they'd call our mothers to insist outside activities were stopped wouldnt even have occurred to them. The school sounds appalling. I can't imagine this is enhancing her learning. The idea that you should stop something that helps your daughter's pain levels because of the placement of a lapel pin sounds quite sadistic. Life with constant even low level background pain is hard enough without insane punishments
and water restrictions.

Just read the trying to stop her drinking water thing.

I would want to remove my child from such a horrible, draconian school.

It’s outrageous that she should miss out on out of school activities for such minor infractions as well as detention! I’d leave her with her phone too - what an awful
school she attends.

What absolutely ludicrous punishments for minor infractions by a nine year old. She’s a little kid. And they want to punish her multiple times by punishing her at home as well as with detention , and police your parenting? I’d be telling them to get stuffed and looking for a better school.

I would not be happy with this school.

School punishments shouldn’t be carried over into home life, not unless it’s something really serious.

This yoga though is more akin to medical treatment. You wouldn’t take away medical treatment as a punishment. They’re actually telling you to cause your child pain to back up their punishment.

I think this is awful.

It's disproportionate OP. If you sanction petty issues like this, what do you then do if something serious happens?
The teacher is massively overstepping the mark in trying to influence how you treat your child. Children have a strong sense of justice and your daughter will know that this is over the top.
Grey rock with the teacher and parent your child as you see fit. But do keep an eye on your daughter to make sure she's happy in the school. - just in case this teacher's overbearing approach spills over into affecting her.

Christ on a bike, these are like the rules at my DC secondary school and they're teens and we parents think their rules are way too harsh!
9 years old! I wouldn't be inflicting any extra punishment for this trivial little things.
They wore ties and blazers in Primary but they weren't harsh about everything looking perfect as they were little, DDs school sounds crazy strict!

I understand schools are trying to instill discipline but so many of them are turning military-esque and there's just no need.

School sounds mental and way OTT!

Do enough NINE year olds have phones now that school recommend removing them though?! I thought I’d misread and she was year 9 when I read that!

I wouldn’t take away her out of school activities, it’s like punishing her twice for incredibly minor infractions!

The yoga isn’t just an activity, it is a form of physical therapy for your DD’s pain management . Would the school expect you to cancel a formal appointment with a physical therapist as a punishment for DD? That is beyond ridiculous. Based on the “infractions” you listed, I wouldn’t be punishing DD outside of school at all.

The punishment for drinking water concerns me. I’m in the US, so forgive me if they don’t have something similar to this where you live. In our schools, children with medical conditions can get what is called a 504 plan. It includes accommodations for the children to be able to meet both their medical needs and their educational needs. One of the common accommodations is being able to drink water whenever they need it, rather than having to wait for break/meal times. Here, the schools are legally required to follow the student’s 504 plan, whether they agree with it or not. If possible, I would suggest getting something similar set up for your DD.

I’ve said you are being unreasonable because I wouldn’t take away any of the after school activities. Home should be a safe place and if a sanction has been carried out at school then it shouldn’t be continued at home. Yes definitely talk about what they have done to deserve a detention but I’d be concerned as to why she is getting so many (child or school could be at fault) The teacher is massively overstepping the mark!

YABU to put your daughter in such an awful school. Are you seriously ok with a school not letting pupils HYDRATE?

I seriously cannot believe that you are ok with the school for giving out not one but three detentions, all for the most stupid of reasons.

YABU to let the school dictate how you parent your child. YABU to take away any activities or do any form of punishment at home. YABU to pander to this crazy school.

I speak as a former teacher, now happily home educating my children because English schools are fucking nuts.

1st comment nailed it.
min this situation I’d maybe take phone away for the weekend. But I wouldn’t stop any paid for activities! And stopping her from participating in a choir she’s practiced so long for is cruel too!
detention is the punishment…having 1 thing taken away at home is enough! I don’t agree with carrying the punishment on for days and days!

The school sounds horrendous and that's coming from a teacher. There is no way I would be stopping my child's activities or taking her phone away for such ridiculously minor things. If you want your daughter to stay at the school I'd just be saying the right thing in the meeting and then carrying on as normal.

Christ! I have a 10yr old year 5.
He is a bright 'academically standard' type of kid who I often think would thrive being pushed ahead a bit... but he would not cope with any of this over zealous crap. Poor kid would be scared for life.

First thing I would do is get onto the senco. The kid has a medical need. Get her a water pass or wherever she needs to be able to have a drink bless her.

So what you're really saying I'd that for wearing a badge on the wrong bit of uniform she was to loose her 3 social activities one of which was also a medical/health class and the potential loss of contact with her other parent through the loss of the phone. And the tutor was pushing you to do all this ... ?

In a school behaviour policy the 'punishment' is required to be 'proportional' I'm not seeing how this is proportional at all!

I would not take away any after school activities, except one.
This would give her an example of what could happen again if she is given detention. And to show that you respect school advice. (But really, the school is too strict.)
I would not pull her out of things that affect others who have also worked hard, like the choir.

I would stop all social media, phone and screens for one week.
Again, just in solidarity with school.

The not drinking is scrict. You should encourage your daughter to drink water when she can so that she never feels thirsty or dehydrated during lesson time.

This. I'd write them an email with this point plus hydration question, and imply discrimination.

It's not a school.. it's an army camp.. those detentions are ridiculous for what she did..
Schools are concentrating more on discipline than education.
She's had her detentions.. her outside activities are nothing to do with school.
And this is why we home educate.. she's nine and my grandchild is same age.. I'm actually crying for your child.

What you do with your child outside school hours is none of their business frankly.