To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

Absolutely would not be stopping any activities for those "misdemeanours" that would be complete non-issues in most primary schools. I would also be very concerned about a teacher who would demand a physical therapy be stopped as a punishment

Bloody hell!!! I would be removing my child from this school! Those detention reasons are ridiculous firstly. Yes fine they can enforce a detention - but to take away everything your child likes doing outside of school socially and to treat her like she has committed such a terrible offence is not just OTT, it will be scarring for her.

Remember you are her mum and biggest advocate in life. You don’t have to just do what they say. This tutor sounds awful and you should have told them how poorly you felt your child was being treated.

I think you're being really unfair to go along with this. Please don't stop any of the activities. Her detention is her punishment (which seems incredibly harsh as it is!). There's no need to inflict further punishment or threats. Poor thing.

This school will ruin your daughters mental health.
This type of school expects perfection in all areas. The second her medical condition affects this you will see they will offer 0 accommodation regardless of the law.
Do her a favour and move schools you can always invest in extra tuition.

I would not take any extra classes, clubs or activies away, I doubt that punishment even fits the "crime".

The school isn't your boss. I would hear what they say, and then if a punishment is needed, I find one to fit the crime. If you cannot think of one, get her to write an essay on what she did, why it was wrong, and how she will behave in future.

I wouldn't take away a single thing. I was already thinking that way when I assumed that your daughter was back chatting the teacher or being rude to peers but for forgetting something. Jesus that just makes me want to weep for your daughter. She slipped up/made a mistake or finds it hard to organise herself and she is being punished outside of school for not being perfect. Horrendous.

I would tell my son in the same situation that the teachers are way over the top but try to remember your stuff to avoid the aggro. And no my son is not a thug he is absolutely golden. If he makes a mistake I discuss it with him and we find a better way. I have never stopped him doing things he enjoys for something entirely unrelated. If my son bullied someone or was rude to a teacher I would be like a dog with a bone on at him but for forgetting something not at all - I would just add it to the morning to do list for us to remember.

I don't think banning things etc works as a punishment - I think expressing you are cross/disappointed and why is much more effective - but I'm talking about when the kid has actually done something wrong not for forgetting a key!

It's none of a school's business what your child does out of school time. Only one sanction should be applied to poor behaviour - in this case the detention. She hasn't misbehaved for you, so no reason for her to miss any activities at all.

No chance. They gave her the school sanction. They can't tell you how you address the issue at home. (I work in education and am an ex-teacher, btw so.not anti-teacher).

I'd find another school, this is ridiculous.

Disgusting reasons to punish a 9 year old. I'd be moving schools

My DCs schools have always encouraged the children to drink water throughout the day to keep hydrated. They were actually given a small water bottle by the school to use at school aged 4 in reception. They are 6th formers now but still sip water through the day.
Schools say keeping hydrated helps children keep alert.

What the hell are you doing punishing your daughter at home by taking phone away and not taking her to 2 activities..... for these things at school. When she has already had detention. And she's 9.

Are you (and the school) bonkers?

What a load of tripe and how punitive.

I wouldn't have stopped any of it .

My school was very much like this, probably one of the reasons I'm a very anxious adult. Don't let them bully her over silly things

I don’t think it is fair to ‘double punish’ a child. She is getting detentions at school for what sounds like fairly minor ‘offences’ and she isn’t misbehaving or being disruptive at all. Why on earth would you take away things she enjoys out of school? The school approach sounds very harsh to me and they are really over reaching themselves by asking you to extend the repercussions to her home life.

If your daughter had done something awful, like hitting, damaging property, swearing etc then I could maybe see the rationale for supporting school by having sanctions at home. But in this case, it seems so unfair to her. Especially as she is struggling with health conditions. Poor kid.

I am so confused as to why any activities were being stopped in the first place? Did the teacher actually tell you you should do this due to your DD forgetting a couple of things? I am just trying to picture how this conversation would have gone!!

The punishments are the detentions (albeit ridiculous) so no need to do anything outside school.

I thought some of the punishments at my kids school were OTT but that is crazy.

I wouldn't stop activities as children desperately need social skills and regular experiences. I might stop screen time, fun snacks.

This sounds like nothing but bullying from the school. Why are you allowing her to be in this awful environment? I would start looking at other schools ASAP.

YANBU.

and the school are being very fucking unreasonable. How dare they dictate to you after school activities, which has nothing to do with them ( and you’ve presumably paid for)

. Her punishment is 3x detention. No more punishment needed.

1 detention was for forgetting her locker key so she couldn't get any of her stuff (they didn't give her a chance to call me to bring it in as a one off I'd do this as I wfh)
1 detention was for being caught drinking out her bottle in the corridor between lessons (drinks only allowed at break and lunchtime)
1 detention for not wearing her houses pin on her tie (it was on her blazer lapel)

im so glad I’m not at school, this school is looking for trouble instead of forging a positive environment to learn 😥

Exactly - with all this punishment I thought she'd been beating someone up or something! But no, she's been drinking water and had a pin in the wrong place.
This is absolutely insane! I can't believe you're going along with this nonsense and giving her any extra punishments. You're thinking of pulling her out of a concert, she's been rehearsing for months? Jesus, poor kid. I think I'd move her to a different school.

This is deranged and way too harsh a punishment for some minor infractions in what sounds like an over controlling regimen. Who hasn't forgotten a key or pin, or needed a drink due to thirst outside of an arbitrarily designated 'drinking time'?

What is she meant to be learning from this, to take with her into the real world?Anxiety, perfectionism and that she needs to neglect her physical needs to conform to a Kafkaesque system where her teachers can even dictate that her punishment extends into her leisure time and social life.

All these dentention incidents could have been situations where she could have learned something rather than been punished eg to find a solution to the locker (contact mum/borrow materials/write on paper and copy into book/computer notes later in her own time) or been nudged about time planning over the drinking issue
I am 100% with parents backing up that teachers are in loco parentis role when the child is at school, that there are rules and teachers should be respected and reasonable instructions obeyed - but punishment should be appropriate for the infractions and relate to the crime. By all means a huge removal of all social and leisure activity with something like an incidence of violence, racism, arson, vandalism, but all this for forgetting two items and being thirsty?

I would say an absolute no to stopping any of her out of school activities.
The yoga is more in the nature of a physical therapy than a leisure activity anyway. Much more important would be a response of some supportive work with her in planning and organization so she has a system for her preparation for school and is less likely to forget any items.

I wouldn’t be stopping any activities that I had paid before. Ridiculous and controlling.

Why on earth aren't you advocating for her? She needs to stay hydrated for her condition but you're going along with the school punishing her for this and then punishing her for it yourself! Poor little girl.

Speak to the SENCO immediately and get her a pass to be allowed to drink in class. My DD is at actual high school and they are allowed to drink in class. In fact don't have any of those stupid rules and no ties and blazers.

This is utterly insane and I wouldn't be agreeing to any punishment for these ridiculous 'misdemeanours'