To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

the detentions are more than enough. No more punishments needed.

I think all of this is borderline cruel.
in year 5 kids some kids are developing their executive function skills - frightening the life out of them for such minor things will trigger an anxious child. I have inattentive adhd - kids with inattentive adhd start doing these forgetful things at that age so these kids will be being punished for their exec function disability

Quite strict! Thay's insane. Is she in some kind of borstal/ military school for dangerously delinquent kids? I'd be telling the school to jog on.

And you are considering removing all in your op?

Mate, I'd move schools.

School are being unreasonable and ridiculous. For those reasons a detention is harsh. I wouldn't stop any activities.

Don’t get why this is even being asked. No, you should not keep your child from their therapeutic activity which helps them manage their chronic condition.

I'm a teacher and I wouldn't be co-operating with the detentions - unless they were 5 minutes at Break or lunchtime. What are they? They are ridiculous for tiny issues.
I certainly would not be adding consequences at home for such tiny errors. DS1 is the same age and tries very hard but he would make occasional mistakes like this and I wouldn't be happy if he was receiving 'pile-on' punishments.

Absolutely not. I wouldn't be stopping my daughter going to dance or sport unless I decided that was an appropriate consequence (don't see an occasion it would be to be honest)

As a parent, ex teacher and foster carer my easy answer is NO. Do not cancel anything.
As a parent I choose any consequences in my home.
Misdemeanours that happen at school are punished at school. If it were serious I, as the parent, may choose to carry out something at home alongside it, but those you've brought up are not serious, they are silly infringements which hopefully she'll learn from.
As an adult if you were told 'you did this wrong at work today, so tonight you can't go to the gym/pub/library...' you'd think yeah right, and I'm not sure why we think it's OK for kids.

Sorry, but I would not be issuing any additional punishments outside school for these rule issues. In the same way that I wouldn’t expect school to involve itself in punishing my child for misdemeanours at home.

This were infractions of minor (petty) rules for each of which she has had a detention from school in line with their policy. End of. If she were bullying/destructive and the 3 detentions were a sign of escalating poor behaviour, then yes I’d explore ways to work with the school to address it. But it’s not. Is it a school or a youth detention centre?

Poor kid!

This has to be a joke? You cannot punish a child this severely for forgetting a key, having a drink and forgetting a badge. I would be giving the school an absolute rocket!

I went to a school like this. I got a detention once for forgetting to bring a tea towel to Home ec. I got another for drinking water out of the junior school water taps (the closest to my classroom) when I was in senior school on a 42 degree summer day.

It taught me that some rules are about crowd control and those who are on a power trip like that are to be ignored with contempt.

Quite frankly I think I'd be going apeshit at the school and setting your boundaries in place.

This.

If a parent was isolating their child and stopping them from seeing friends for drinking water in a different room of the house to what was allowed or wearing their hat at a "wrong" angle it would be called abusive.

I was thinking the same!! Like she must be a problem child and have hit a teacher or something 😅

This school sounds so harmful. These punishments are what our kids might get for arson or something not forgetting a key once, drinking some water and pinning a tie in the wrong way?! 😳

Seems like teachers think it is excessive too op. Does your daughter get anxious being in such a draconian environment?

She's being punished for being thirsty, and for being forgetful at the age of 9? No. Nonsense. No way is any of that developmentally appropriate. I'd be moving schools quite frankly.

I’d complain to the governors about disproportionate punishment and also discrimination re the yoga. Your daughter has a health condition and she’s expected to make her condition worse because they don’t want to adapt around it. That’s discrimination.

OMG please don't take ANY of her activities away for that!

If she had hit someone / stolen something / vandalized something then fine. But being a bit forgetful isn't worthy of any punishment, nevermind what the school is proposing.

She's 9. A baby! Poor girl. I would be looking at moving her not punishing her. That school sounds absolutely horrific. No wonder we have a mental health crisis in young people.

What the…! This school sounds awful and abusive. Missing 3 activities and the Easter concert for minor uniform offences when she is in YEAR 5 for gods sake.

I wouldn’t be making her miss yoga OR the Easter concert tbh.

Is this a joke thread?

I really hope so.

to paraphrase Mumsnet, you have a teacher ( or rather school) problem, not a daughter problem.

That school has a horrible ethos. Taking away the concert is cruel and wildly disproportionate to the trivialities she has detention for.

Move schools.

What is the broken window philosophy?

But maybe if you did punish him, he'd remember that and be less disruptive in class? I speak as a parent with a child in a very disruptive year 7 and he finds it stressful and it's a very poor learning journey for other children. I would love it if his secondary school were a lot stricter. But it does seem harsh for a 9 year old for such minor things. Maybe that's how schools achieve excellent behaviour, zero tolerance? Haven't read full thread, would be interested in teachers' perspectives.

You're not being unreasonable at all. I would consider stopping any activities. The school is overstepping and it's awful