To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

The school is bonkers. Ignore any requests from them. It sounds like an open prison.

I would be withdrawing my child from this school tbh, not trying to pander to their insane punitive measures. I have never come across anything so draconian, the poor child - none of this is any way bad behaviour. The detentions are bad enough, please do not seriously contemplate punishing her further.

And has the school considered adhd? I have adhd and these are well known traits for adhd in school - impulse control problems, distraction, boredom etc.

Fucking bonkers!!

Don't take anything away, tell the school to do one. What petty, stupid rules.

This is exactly what I was thinking. The school are ridiculous and quite frankly cruel but what upsets me more is the OP is bending over backwards to go along with it all, the please the school.
Fight for your daughter, OP! You're her advocate. I wouldn't even let my daughter attend a school like this, let alone support them so wholeheartedly in their damaging policies.

That is appalling treatment of primary aged children. It would be totally over the top for a high school, but for a 9YO?

The school have absolutely no right to try to remove children's out of school activities, particularly for such minor 'offences'. Is it an academy? The school needs to be infected ASAP.

So afaik it's the location and wrap around care that keeps you there.

Honestly, even if I was short of money (don't know if that's the case) I would rather eat beans on toast (myself) every single fucking day and use the rest to pay a childminder for pick up at another school miles away, rather than keeping my daughter in that hell, forget about backing them up!

You could try telling the school your DD has failed to make her bed three times since Christmas so as per your policy she must be removed from maths lessons this week to reinforce your home punishment. Makes about as much sense.

WTF have I just read?! Is she at Michaela by any chance? Or a catholic school? I know they can be strict but that is beyond.

I'm a teacher and not in million years would this punishment ever happen in any school I've ever taught at. Don't even dream of stopping yoga, to suggest leaving her in pain because she forgot to put her tie pin on in the right place is plain cruel.

Christ, I only read as far as OP's second post. It's not a school, it's some kind of fascist army and no fucking way would I be in support of punishing the nonsense they are giving detentions for, let alone even consider taking away something that's medically necessary. How do the people running this child gulag even sleep at night?

Had a bit of a rant in my previous post.

To the point:

In comparison, what would happen if you did those same things as an adult in your job?

Nothing! Bar having a slightly irritating day if you forgot your locker key.

Now- why is it acceptable to give a child in yr 5 multiple detentions and persuade the parents to take away her hobbies?

This school is fucking ridiculous! Seriously what kind of weird mad power trip are they on?

That's way over the top and cruel for a 9 year old.

Guessing it's a fee paying school? Not rtft.

I'd be looking at a new school, this isn't the right environment for your DD.

This is not a school in the UK. Can't be.

I’m imagining Severus Snape (books, not the film version).
Or à la Miss Trunchbull.

I'm shocked that your daughter has been given detention for those reasons and even more shocked that the school suggest you remove her activities!

None of those reasons warrant any punishment! She's in yr 5. Forgetting a locker key, a pin and drinking water in a corridor are normal everyday occurances that even adults do every day, and are not punished! Why does the school or you think that this is acceptable?!?

It's even more damaging to stop her activities/hobbies! All that's going to do is stress her out about school and make her hate it!

I would seriously be considering changing school if that's their attitude- no interest in child's development, just what makes the school look good.

Imagine, In real adult life if I forgot, say, my work pass which I need to use the printer and get around wards/use blood gas machines, I would not be punished! What would happen- nothing. It would be a slightly irritating day having to borrow from other people.

My manager wouldn't stop me having a break or stay at work later, nor would they insist that I give up my hobbies to learn from my mistake.

This is utter lunacy. She's not even being naughty! And even if she was, the school can punish kids while they're in their care, but it's seriously over stepping to expect you to "back them up". And the idea of stopping what's essentially a therapy? 😱

Is it run by a fucking demon headmaster?!

I can't decide what's worse - these draconian rules, or the fact that you are agreeing to punish your daughter even further! How do you think this makes your daughter feel? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for discipline and setting boundaries but this is way too much. I think you need to grow a pair and tell school that any punishment will not be happening. Set an example for your daughter.

Presumably the school are aware of her medical needs? Surely she should have some kind of medical exemption re drinking water if being hydrated helps her condition?

As for the rest of it, absolutely nothing to do with the school how you discipline your kid at home. I’d just smile and nod and do none of it.

That’s some extreme reasons for giving detentions so young but your not asking on whether the school are right or wrong in the reasons for detention

Taking away phones and activities outside of school have no correlation to the detentions and the reason for them. The lunchtime detentions have already lost her free time to play. The only reason I would be removing an after school activity outside of school would be that her detention being on the same evening and therefore the natural consequence of leaving school later due to the detention would be not having time for the activity that night

I would also politely be reminding the teacher of her place in being responsible for the child during school and that they do not have a say in what the child does outside of school hours when the reasons for detention of a 9 year old are so petty

she carries on will remove her from the Easter Concert for her Choir activity that she’s been practising for all half term both during Choir sessions and also in the shower every single morning before school.

removing her from this - and especially for yoga which she needs to manage pain - is genuinely cruel and draconian in my opinion.

so you’d remove her from the concert if she were to get an other detention for a sip of water? Or for putting her pin on her blazer instead of her tie?

I truly hope you’ll reconsider and won’t be overly influenced by this school’s philosophy.
Her tutor suggesting you take away an activity your DD needs due to pain management is cruel and incredibly inappropriate. Even if the detentions were for considerably more serious infractions!

We did in the beginning. But it didn’t seem to bother him if we took things away. With that side of things he’s always been like that - we can punish him, not punish him, ignore the bad, praise the good etc etc and nothing works (I’m talking at home when he’s done something wrong or answered back - since he was about 9).

@PumpkinsAndCoconuts I was also diagnosed as an adult. Very bright, professional job now. But forgetful. My mum did everything for us/made sure we remembered things which is probably part of why nothing would have been noticed.

I'm not saying it's ADHD BTW OP I'm just illustrating that punishments for things like this are stupid for lots of reasons.

Actually yes I'll go further - this is where your child gets to see how supportive you are as a parent. How far you'll go to advocate for her. I actually think it's imperative you show her you have her corner on this. Teaching blind adherence to authority is not helpful for kids and their development. Respect, yes, following sensible rules, yes. But not standing up to nonsense? No.

I’d love to know what the detentions are.

Waterboarding in classroom 4 between 1 and 2pm.

OP grow a backbone! Your child, esp with the medical issue, really needs you to. Esp at secondary school.

I don't condone bad behaviour in school and would always tackle it with the child, but I wouldn't remove her from ANY activities that I had paid for, unless I thought that doing so was a logical consequence of the actual bad behaviour.

I certainly wouldn't have a teacher dictating to me that I should be removing the child from a physical activity and certainly not one with a medical benefit.

They can do their school punishments on their own time e.g. the play parts of break, lunch etc. or by some other (loss of) privilege system. This teacher sounds as though they are on a power trip (too many are). With you!