To not stop this activity even though school asked me to?

I wouldn’t punish her home as well. Would check with her to see that she understands the list of (petty) rules so she doesn’t accidentally fall foul of them.
I would punish my (older son) at home in addition to a detention if he was responsible for serious poor behaviour but he recently had a detention and didn’t understand why (sounded to me as though he misunderstood an instruction; he has known concentration/zoning out difficulties so quite likely) and he didn’t want me to intervene. Definitely not going to reinforce punishment at home for an unknown behaviour or a minor misdemeanour against strict rules that has already been dealt with in school.

Unless the issue leading to the detention was significant then I would not let the punishment crossover into your child's out of school life.
Given the importance of the "yoga" I certainly wouldn't not attend & I'd rethink not allowing the other activities

School doesn't get to dictate what you & your family do in the time your children are not in school.
Obviously if it was a major issue that spilt it into non school time I would sanction eg bullying, cyber bullying.

I can't believe this level of punishment for taking a sip of water, wearing a pin incorrectly, or forgetting a key....
Not sure where you live @StoppingTheClassDueToDetention or what options there are, but I would remove my children from this school. In fact, wouldn't have put them in there... but that's a moot point now.

This is institutional bullying and your daughter will suffer into adulthood if you allow this to continue. You should not be taking away activities from her. You should be removing her from this school.

Jesus, this is awful. We have always had the church/state rule. If my kids play up in school they get punctuated in school. It has to be very very serious for me to continue at home and remove normal activities.

I mean, after school clubs and sports are kind of important, not only for building skills but if you commit to be part of a team you don't get to play up in school and then punish your team by not attending?

This level of punishment is insane

@StoppingTheClassDueToDetention please can I urge you to look up Dr Naomi Fisher (she’s on Twitter) about the psychological damage of “high control” policies. I would remove my child.

Those reasons for detentions are so over the top I personally wouldn’t be adding to the punishment at all . I’ve always taken the approach that school issues and punishments stay at school . Never had anything major to worry about though - mines the kid that can’t seem to not chat ! If I felt they’d done something unkind or dangerous that might be different

I am praying that this isn't real. What an absolute prison sentence for this poor child to live under this surveillance and anxiety every day. For Christs sake. The entitlement and audacity for a teacher to demand that you punish your child OUTSIDE of school hours and you went along with this? Give yourself a reality check. This is YOUR baby. Why are you letting a school run her life like this? She gets one childhood. ONE. Wake up. This is incredibly harsh treatment of a child. Get a backbone and refuse to punish your own child for daring to drink water outside of an allocated time. FFS. What kind of message are you giving her when you go along with this? You're teaching her to ignore her needs, not listen to her body and silence her signals. This is incredibly dangerous to instill in a child. If she's thirsty and needs a sip of water, she needs a sip of water - end of discussion. Punishing her for that teaches her to ignore her body signals and her needs. That's a recipe for disaster.

You need to lay down a boundary right now that school ends when school ends and home time is safe and secure. Punishments from school can't bleed into home life. There MUST be a safe haven for this little girl. Especially when those punishments were ridiculous and OTT to begin with. You're teaching her that the school and the teachers needs come before your maternal instincts, your home life and your mother daughter bond. You need to fix this immediately.

I personally think school disciplines in school. I don’t expect school to take away privileges when my child doesn’t tidy their room. It’s very odd idea. So I wouldn’t take away any activities. The punishment is the detention. I absolutely wouldn’t be taking loads of other things away. Seems very extreme, let alone the yoga.

I would make an appointment with the head to show her all these responses. And I wouldn’t allow any out of school detentions either.

Dear God, they’re fucking nuts. Those poor children! She deserves as many out of school activities as she can get if that’s how she’s treated in school.

Exactly!

They can piss off, nothing to do with them what happens outside of school hours

Absolutely, I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous. I would be very happy to tell the school to mind their own bloody business.

Just read your op but the school can sod right off with telling you you have to stop outside school activities!! What a cheek!!

This school sounds horrendous. No way would I be supporting this. These crimes sound so inconsequential; and re hydration and your daughter’s health shouldn’t you be advocating for her more? I’m worried the school is suggesting things which would detrimentally impact her.

Your 9 year old has a mobile phone? Is this normal these days?

This, wtaf are they doing trying to dictate their lives out of school?

@AtomHeartMotherOfGod Saying this will probably bring me bad karma, as I am a teacher, but I don't have any qualms about ignoring things that are clearly insane, as their policies are.

Totally agree. As a teacher I’d have a really hard time enforcing policies like this with a clear conscience.

And I can’t help wondering - how do they have time for any actual teaching if they’re constantly scrutinising the placement of pins and policing kids drinking in corridors?

Your poor daughter 😔
I really hope you allow her to continue all her classes, especially as those are very small incidents & I would argue don't warrant a detention at all.
No way would I allow a school to dictate my parenting in that way.

Having read what the detentions are for, I would be removing her from the school. Sounds like the school in matilda 🤯

But even though high schools don't have wraparound as such they can usually arrive at school early. At my DD's high school they can arrive from 8am and get breakfast/go to library/learning support centre/form room or take part in morning clubs.

Surely it would be a complete racquet if these middle schools have no wraparound like Primary but also none like Secondary?

Nothing about this school is normal. Bloody hell.

So they’re expecting you to punish your dd twice (or more) for the same crime?
if mine were punished at school, they were not punished at home unless it was something particularly dreadful.
id be telling school to butt out!

same, it is bizarre of them to push for this and equally bizarre (for 1 detention) for you to acquiesce

I put yanbu, but you are being unreasonable to take away any activity.
She's 9. If she's done something as horrific as to warrent a detention and days of punishment after then you need to be looking at the root cause, is she severely unhappy and unsettled at school, does she need therapy to work through a traumatic life event at home, does she have additional needs which aren't being met?

And if she's just misbehaving a bit then keep it proportionate. Unhappy children breeds worse behaviour. Severe punishments are generally counterproductive.