To be furious at my MIL for cleaning our living room

Keep ignoring op. She's bating you to get a raise.

Maybe you should learn to read properly.

When people don't respect your boundaries, they're not "trying to be helpful", they're trampling over you in order to do what they want.

The worst thing my late MiL did was 'potty train' my DD (just 2) in the 48 hours I was in hospital having the next baby. I had previously told her I wasn't going to potty train at the same time as introducing a new baby but MiL did it anyway and it caused me months and months of extra stress.

Prior to that she had a purple carpet fitted in our master bedroom while I was at work because my DH had mentioned he liked purple carpets. It was vile.

We moved 200 miles away after a couple of years, thankfully.

Text back 'Why?What have you done?'

I wouldn't do this but I'd be tempted... "MIL, there was a small envelope with £200 in I had to pay someone. Where did you put it? I need to drop it off tomorrow morning"

We have this issue too. We decided if they did it again there would be things they wouldn't like!

Or, and here me out here;

mil could do what she was told “for the sake of peace”

She knows she did something wrong. She just doesn’t give a shit

Reading all the replies and I'm clearly in a minority here as have no issue when my mum comes round and does some jobs 😆. However you have clearly said you don't want her to do this , she should respect your boundaries . Don't feel guilty about the waterworks. She's being disrespectful continuing to do things you've asked her many times to stop, when will she learn? Time to toughen up and set clear boundaries, removing the key is a start and it's good that your DH is also supportive of this.

Or if you do, make sure you've changed the locks first. My "OK give me the spare key back" moment was when I came back from holiday to discover my Mum and Dad had painted my hallway yellow, and not a soft pastel yellow either.

Pick your battles? She's not an infant ffs!

She absolutely knows she's done something wrong. This is some sort of passive aggressive bullshit where she believes she's better wife than you or something. Tell her of course you are angry because as usual she has imposed her own views of what is best for you with no consideration for your wishes. Your dh shouldn't have leave her on her own again in your house.

I would include her brothers in this conversation too. I would also add that she’s isn’t really helping at all, she’s making more work for you and her son because you have to repair, replace, redo or put right whatever she’s done. This is your home, not an extension of hers.

Give it a go if you can channel your anger into sobs

Sometimes there's nothing else for it but to actually lose your shit and have a proper shout at someone like this.
Maybe she will get the hump, but you've told her before to leave things alone.

Those saying you wouldn’t mind and your own mum does some tidying, you can’t understand when your own parents are vaguely normal, what it’s like when someone is so manipulative.

My MIL kept insisting she would do my laundry whilst we were there for a few days. I said there was no need, it wasn’t a long trip. I came back to her house to find my pants, bras and (clean thank god) reusable sanitary pads flapping in the breeze on her washing line.

She had been through my suitcase and as she couldn’t distinguish dirty from clean, had washed every underwear item she could find in the case. So she had unzipped it, taken all the clean stuff from the main area and all the dirty stuff from a zipped pocket on the front.

When I expressed a tiny fraction of how unhappy I was, she started sobbing and FIL laid into me for being ungrateful. I mean WTF??? Her go to when she wants to interfere is to cry and call us ungrateful. And the whole family indulged it until I turned up. I tolerate a lot for peace but I have drawn some very hard lines on other things, DH drawing them for or with me most of the time, poor man.

I was a married woman in my 30s at this point and I am not known for taking rubbish like this. This was not my first rodeo with MIL behaving disrespectfully.

Op, I am with you. Your mistake was not drawing a hard line after the flower incident. Knowingly doing that is incredibly nasty behaviour.

I will happily rant with you for hours on the nonsense we’ve endured and the hysterics when we’ve stood up to her. She doesn’t do much anymore though….she knows I mean business….and before you lay into me, I’m still kind, do admin for them, do house stuff for them…if she behaves like a respectful adult.

Yep, this. Pretend she doesn't exist - and as she doesn't exist she will never set foot in your house again, or take up any room in your head.

That's already been discussed.

She won't so assigned jobs and feigns backache.

She's only interested in interfering and demeaning the op.

Can't you assign her a job you don't mind her doing l, to keep her occupied?

I agree. I’m not far off her age either and wouldn’t dream of doing things someone had explicitly asked me not to do in their house, ruining their clothes with the iron or putting a photo of myself in front of one of their parents that they had on display. (I’m reeling at that one, it’s so obviously a power play and nothing to do with either habits or wanting to help).
I am absolutely not “stuck in my ways” ffs, neither is my husband, and I am always learning new things.
It’s not only on MN that you see the view of people in their 60s as being aged, cognitively failing, set in their ways or plain batshit, but it’s depressingly common here.

Start a patio. Leave a hole approximately her size for months....

So FIL came over to help/advise with the garage roof, and MIL tifmdied abd cleaned your house.
What a pair of selfish bastards!

Don't go on holiday!!!
It will give her time to sort out your overly white walls 😂😂

Examples: last summer, she mowed my wildflower meadow in the front garden, because "you don't want those ugly weeds in front". She knew that it was supposed to stay, but she didn't like it, we would not bend when she complained about it being ugly, so she went and killed it.

If anyone other than your MIL did that you'd contact the police. Because what she did was illegal.

I agree with all the 'just ignore' responses. Get your DH to tell his Mum in writing that she can't come to your house again because of her behaviour and asking for your keys back. Always see them at their house or in a public place. Maybe change the locks. She has shown repeatedly she can't be trusted so it has to end now. If the brothers say anything just tell them she's lucky you didn't call the police. In fact maybe you should speak to Citizens Advice or something to find out how to escalate this legally to stop her coming to the house.