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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kid keeps picking flowers from garden bushes - shall I say something?

130 replies

Primmyhill · 07/03/2024 16:32

The last few days a girl, about 7 years old, and her mum have stopped outside my house, presumably on the walk back from school, and have reached over the railings and picked some flowers from some of my hedges. Today she must have picked about 10 and then dropped them in the street while walking off. Am I being petty to be p’eed off? I don’t want to seem like an ogre and upset a child if it keeps happening, but surely an adult should be teaching the child that this is someone’s property and not encourage it. AIBU?

OP posts:
JillyTheJinx · 08/03/2024 15:28

Hide behind bush with a hosepipe then drench the brat and her mum.😈

TomeTome · 08/03/2024 15:05

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/03/2024 14:57

You shouldn’t be allowing your child to do this, non verbal or not.

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I think I covered that in my post?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/03/2024 14:58

Snowwhite83 · 08/03/2024 14:57

Hi OP,

I would put up a sign , they will stop without you having to confront them directly.

What if they ignore the sign?

Berthatydfil · 08/03/2024 14:58

Primmyhill · 08/03/2024 10:17

Thanks everyone. As I thought, but my very laid back husband said, ‘oh, but they’re just flowers that will fall off and die soon, at least she’s getting some pleasure from them’ That’s not the point though, he doesn’t get it.
I’ll keep a look out today and will be ready to pounce - will go in polite but will up the ante if I need to!
For those that asked, there’s a variety - camellia, blossom and some small yellow flowers on a hedge but I’m not sure what they’re called.

The yellow ones could be forsythia.
These flowers provide food for early insects and also give rise to seeds and berries which feed wildlife later in the year.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/03/2024 14:57

TomeTome · 08/03/2024 10:23

Please don’t “pounce”. I used to let my non verbal ds walk along the top of a low bank outside some houses where there was no pavement. It was a poor choice on my part but it got him to school safe and happy. One day one of the owners came out and asked us not to really crossly. Ds was terrified and also didn’t understand. The knock on fall out was horrific. If you could just say it calmly I’m sure the mum will be really embarrassed and change.

Edited

You shouldn’t be allowing your child to do this, non verbal or not.

Snowwhite83 · 08/03/2024 14:57

Hi OP,

I would put up a sign , they will stop without you having to confront them directly.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/03/2024 14:55

iLovee · 08/03/2024 14:46

Don't do that. That is really weird.

Just ask them not to. No need for signs, sprinklers or jumping out at unsuspecting children.

Show quote history

Dog trained to jump out?!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/03/2024 14:54

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/03/2024 16:58

I’d be there tomorrow and would ask her not to do that please as they are your flowers and not picking

You’re nicer than I am! I’d be tempted to tell them to F off off my property and stop picking my flowers, no 1 you’re trespassing! Caveat, 70s child where some locals would definitely have done this!

ancienticecream · 08/03/2024 14:50

It's fine to ask them not to pick the flowers!
The small yellow flowers on a hedge sounds like forsythia. I wouldn't get too worked up about that unless she takes a lot, but picking off the camellias is a no-no!

Let us know how you get on, OP

iLovee · 08/03/2024 14:46

ReadtheReviews · 08/03/2024 10:56

I would kill with kindness. Since you know the time they pass by give them a lovely bunch of flowers and say I noticed you like the flowers on my bush. Please don't pick too many or the bush won't look pretty any more.

Don't do that. That is really weird.

Just ask them not to. No need for signs, sprinklers or jumping out at unsuspecting children.

Growlybear83 · 08/03/2024 14:40

If you tell the child lot to pick your flowers and they do it again, I would squirt them with your garden hose, accidentally of course.

coxesorangepippin · 08/03/2024 14:37

You're right to be pissed off.

Tell them next time.

steppemum · 08/03/2024 14:32

blossom traditionally is used for the flowers of fruiting trees.
apple blossom
cherry blossom
etc
Even if the tree is ornamental ie it won't produce edible fruit.
There are usually hundreds/thousands of tiny flowers, hence I suppose someone saying they would be less bothered.

Flowering bushes like camelias though have bigger and far fewer flowers. They are not called blossom because it is not a flowering fruit tree.
“The camellias were covered in blossom” is not actually a phrase I would use or have heard, because camelias flowers are not blossom. I would say "the camelias were covered in flowers/blooms)

Trulyme · 08/03/2024 14:30

This wouldn’t bother me but as it bothers you I would say something, in a kind way.

If you don’t want to say anything then you could put a sign up so it’s less confrontational.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/03/2024 14:18

Can someone explain to me the use of “blossom” as something distinctive, as in, I couldn’t get worked up if it was just blossom?

I’ve always known “blossom” as a collective noun for “flowers”, as in “The camellias were covered in blossom”, not “we have a Camellia, a rose, and some blossom”. So I’m struggling with this thread.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/03/2024 14:09

Pirelli · 08/03/2024 10:27

I agree with your husband @Primmyhill
We should be encouraging children to experience nature. I know it might be annoying if the child drops them after picking them but as your husband says, flowers drop naturally anyway.

No, they don’t. The petals drop, but the sexual parts remain to produce seeds.

AntonFeckoff · 08/03/2024 13:36

take the sting out of it by offering the child a bloom or two.

As a small child I used to go out for walks with my dad armed with a wildflower book, and I always gathered a little bouquet of daisies and dandelions along the way. I remember on the way home one evening we walked past a garden with a rhododendron bush. The owner of the house was in his garden and he must have seen my bouquet and my eyes light up because he cut off one of the blooms and handed it to me. I still remember him after all these years. So yes, politely ask them not to help themselves but it would be nice to offer the child a bloom.

DiscoBeat · 08/03/2024 13:28

I love the little passive aggressive bunfights over what passes as a flowering bush and what doesn't!

Plenty of flowering bushes in my garden, and the mother was out of order not stopping her child picking them. I'd probably arrange to be out there 'pruning' and ask the mother politely not to allow it as I was trying to grow it, but take the sting out of it by offering the child a bloom or two. They probably wouldn't do it again.

housethatbuiltme · 08/03/2024 13:25

Itslegitimatesalvage · 07/03/2024 16:43

You’re not supposed to pick wild flowers either, so which flowers were you teaching her to pick?

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I think every kid in the UK has likely picked a daisy or dandelion clock or buttercup etc... at lease once.

Loadsofmoggies · 08/03/2024 12:57

Definitely ask the mother to stop enabling this - the flowers are your property and then they are just thrown aside!

ScierraDoll · 08/03/2024 12:51

Grow something with big thorns. Firethorn is good

TeaGinandFags · 08/03/2024 12:44

I'd deffo have a strong word with the mum. It's totally out of order to pick flowers that don't belong to you and she's just dumping them along the road.

If they pass by at a regular time, just happen to be out in the garden and say something along the lines if ' hello, I've noticed that your little girl is picking my flowers and throwing them away afterwards. Could she not do that?'

This is totally on the mum to sort out.

Good luck

hookiewookie29 · 08/03/2024 12:43

dreamingofsun · 07/03/2024 16:57

why does it matter what type of flowers they are? they are still stealing/damaging her garden.

This!💯

KomodoOhno · 08/03/2024 12:38

phoenixrosehere · 07/03/2024 17:04

Agree.

I enjoy gardening, put a lot of work into it and would not be happy with anyone just picking flowers off especially since I specifically put them there to attract pollinators. I’ll admit I was excited to see bees a few days ago on my salix tree.

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This. I would definitely say please don't pick my flowers. Hopefully the mother will be embarrassed enough to make her child stop.

Gettingonmygoat · 08/03/2024 12:33

HelloMiss · 07/03/2024 16:47

It's March.... which flowers are these? Are you not in the U.K.?

My Camellia is full of blooms and i am in SW Scotland

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