Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please vote for me at the next GE

81 replies

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 11:51

This is a light-hearted thread. My aim is to help many see the light re politics

I've been called a "Tory...."

Therefore, I will let the cat out of the bag.

I'm an Independent wants to be and may stand at the next GE

My manifesto:

To increase all benefits for those in and out of work.

Throw money at the NHS

Pay nHS staff a one off 30% pay rise and a rise of inflation plus 6% for the next five years

Get more police officers

Increase teachers pay

Increase defence spending

Stop the boats within 48 hours

Tax cuts for all earning less that 500k a year

Raise IHT to 2.7 million

Help first-time buyers

Reduce stamp duty on first homes

Retain the stamp duty on second homes etc

NHS dentist for all within 3 months and Free at the point of provision for no cosmetic work, essential work

50% discount on all EV vehicles

Reduce road tax

Spen 3 billion on our crumbling roads

Train more doctors and other NHS staff

Increase defence spending to 3% of GDP

Improve social housing

Free university education for all

No tv licence of all

No one should work more than 30 hours a week if they do not want to

Speed up the judicial system

More rights for all British citizens

Reduce the number of MP's to 69.

Shut down the House of Lords

Free school meals for all children

A free laptop for all schoolchildren

Ensure all gun and knife crime criminals are locked up for 36 months minimum caught the first time with a weapon and left on the second

Make Britain a world leader and regain our first world status and have the best NHS in the world and the best country to live in the world.

Now, please do not forget to vote for me. LOL

Will I stick to my manifesto once I've been voted in, say yes.

If you feel its a load of BS, then vote no

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 07/03/2024 23:25

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/03/2024 21:45

I would like:
Rain will only happen between midnight and 6am.
No clouds allowed at weekends.
Get rid of GMT, BST only.
Free cheese.
No more potholes.
School buses
A pavement along every road.
Subsidised fish and chips.

Happy ever aftering here in Camelot...😂

CrappySack · 07/03/2024 23:20

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 23:15

I doubt those figures as in our road/close out of the 40 properties, only two have cats and I'm sure about it. Trsut me, I've done my research.

The will never be any U turns from me as I leave them to the tories and labour lot.

I would like to request a u-turn vis-a-vis banning high sugar foods.

I would rather vote Tory than lose donuts 🍩

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 23:16

x2boys · 07/03/2024 23:06

Even in the vanishingly unlikely scenario that you would be voted in as an independent MP
You wouldn't have to power to change much as you would be one MP on the back benches with no party .

FGS. Please read my previous osts, I have covered that scenario.

OP posts:
DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 23:15

CrappySack · 07/03/2024 23:05

An estimated 24% of people in the UK have cats.

You'd better do an emergency u-turn! 🐈🐈‍⬛

I doubt those figures as in our road/close out of the 40 properties, only two have cats and I'm sure about it. Trsut me, I've done my research.

The will never be any U turns from me as I leave them to the tories and labour lot.

OP posts:
x2boys · 07/03/2024 23:09

pointythings · 07/03/2024 22:12

Can you add:

All workplaces to have office pets (preferably cats) for wellbeing
Abolish loud pigeons
A new Bank Holiday to celebrate the joy that is bacon

🤣🤣

x2boys · 07/03/2024 23:06

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 14:17

How is you friend, the labour leader aiming to to fund his and his teams dreams now that the 'non-doms' tax has already been budgeted in by the tories?

What does the labour lot offer and how will it be funded

I'm proposing to be an impendent candidate based on the Tory & Lab best bits they aim to lure voters to them, so make sure you vote for me if I stand at the GE

Even in the vanishingly unlikely scenario that you would be voted in as an independent MP
You wouldn't have to power to change much as you would be one MP on the back benches with no party .

CrappySack · 07/03/2024 23:05

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 23:03

Hands up
You have got me.
You will be one of the 3% that may not vote for me.
I can't stand cats, especially the smell they leave behind.

Sorry about that but I only promise what I know I can deliver

An estimated 24% of people in the UK have cats.

You'd better do an emergency u-turn! 🐈🐈‍⬛

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 23:03

pointythings · 07/03/2024 22:12

Can you add:

All workplaces to have office pets (preferably cats) for wellbeing
Abolish loud pigeons
A new Bank Holiday to celebrate the joy that is bacon

Hands up
You have got me.
You will be one of the 3% that may not vote for me.
I can't stand cats, especially the smell they leave behind.

Sorry about that but I only promise what I know I can deliver

OP posts:
DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 22:56

Watermelon999 · 07/03/2024 22:38

I’m with you Op, great manifesto!

Please add….

  1. Social care and mental health service reforms to free up nhs beds
  2. Improved rail and bus services to link up uk cities and towns, especially in the north and rural south which are severely lacking.
  3. Clampdown on social media use in under 16
  4. Massive drive to address domestic violence and take it more seriously, which does not involve the victims going into hiding and instead involves the perpetrators being sent to some deserted island as far away as possible.
  5. 4 day working week and 3 day weekend mandatory
  6. 2 extra bank holidays.

Some of your wishes are already spoken for and those that are not, your wish is my command.

Like any good politician and potential politician, I aim to please the masses.

OP posts:
DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 22:53

Dogdilemma2000 · 07/03/2024 22:19

You found the magic money tree then?

Yes thanks, I have but will need help getting to it in the garden of Labour HQ.

Reading the other posts some really good ideas to add to my pledges
EG

BST for England all year long

Ban vaping and smoking in all public places

Grant NI, Wales, Scotland and Cornwall the independence the many strive for.

Mandatory prison sentences for those who attack our emergency workers.

Ban advertising before the watershed on toys, games and salty and sugary foods.

Nationalise all utility companies

Increase child benefit for the first child and zero child benefit after that.

Make all toll roads and crossings toll free

Build a road across the channel within 4 years

Keep our nose out of other countries' business and not send troops to police for the world.

Ban highly processed foods

Ban foods high in salt/sugar/saturates

Ban all plastic packaging

Ban loud people

OP posts:
SocksAndTheCity · 07/03/2024 22:40

I'm pretty sure the OP isn't a 'her' @therealcookiemonster

Watermelon999 · 07/03/2024 22:38

I’m with you Op, great manifesto!

Please add….

  1. Social care and mental health service reforms to free up nhs beds
  2. Improved rail and bus services to link up uk cities and towns, especially in the north and rural south which are severely lacking.
  3. Clampdown on social media use in under 16
  4. Massive drive to address domestic violence and take it more seriously, which does not involve the victims going into hiding and instead involves the perpetrators being sent to some deserted island as far away as possible.
  5. 4 day working week and 3 day weekend mandatory
  6. 2 extra bank holidays.
Gazelda · 07/03/2024 22:27

What about social care?

And plenty of truly affordable housing (but NIMBY).

And a free blow dry every Tuesday.

A stiff word with Starbucks about their tax responsibilities should fund all of this. Sorted.

Dogdilemma2000 · 07/03/2024 22:19

You found the magic money tree then?

80skid · 07/03/2024 22:17

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/03/2024 21:45

I would like:
Rain will only happen between midnight and 6am.
No clouds allowed at weekends.
Get rid of GMT, BST only.
Free cheese.
No more potholes.
School buses
A pavement along every road.
Subsidised fish and chips.

I think you'd win a few votes yourself with that manifesto!

pointythings · 07/03/2024 22:12

Can you add:

All workplaces to have office pets (preferably cats) for wellbeing
Abolish loud pigeons
A new Bank Holiday to celebrate the joy that is bacon

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/03/2024 22:11

You got me at free cheese, @OhYouBadBadKitten 😍

AlizeeEasy · 07/03/2024 22:11

There’s no Road tax at all, so congrats on achieving one of your objectives so far

Crikeyalmighty · 07/03/2024 22:07

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator well let's face it if you aren't getting a sniff of power and so t gave to follow through at all, you can say any old uncosted and populist bullshit to your hearts content- it's clearly Reforms policy -

Alcyoneus · 07/03/2024 22:06

That sounds identical to the Tory manifesto. After all we didn’t end up with sky high taxes and record public debt through a lack of spending, did we.

Itscatsallthewaydown · 07/03/2024 21:59

Do you ever do anything else apart from start incomprehensible posts?

Fallenangelofthenorth · 07/03/2024 21:58

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/03/2024 21:45

I would like:
Rain will only happen between midnight and 6am.
No clouds allowed at weekends.
Get rid of GMT, BST only.
Free cheese.
No more potholes.
School buses
A pavement along every road.
Subsidised fish and chips.

And Chinese? That's the killer

Fallenangelofthenorth · 07/03/2024 21:56

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/03/2024 12:59

You wish is my command. As long as you vote for me and encourage everyone you can encourage votes for me.

Thank you

You've just lost my vote. I was all for the policies in your OP, but You've gone too far with the smoking fines, so I'm out...

SwordToFlamethrower · 07/03/2024 21:52

Rewild all golf courses and enshrine women's rights and you got my vote!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/03/2024 21:45

I would like:
Rain will only happen between midnight and 6am.
No clouds allowed at weekends.
Get rid of GMT, BST only.
Free cheese.
No more potholes.
School buses
A pavement along every road.
Subsidised fish and chips.