To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

Op you don’t have to cook every night you know. If you’re really busy or got no food in or whatever then just get a takeaway or frozen pizzas.

dont feel like there has to be a cooked meal on the table every night! No one is gonna wither away

It's not about the bag meal, is it?

You need a fair division of labour (and this probably wouldn't have kicked off if he actually took some responsibility for shopping, cooking and meal planning).

absolutely. I definitely would have expected him to at least try it!

In this house you can decide how the task is done and do it, or you can shut up. You don't get to expect someone else to do the task and they complain about how they did it.

Same in this household. If you you relinquish responsibility for buying and cooking food, you eat what you're served by the person who takes on that responsibility. I'd be incandescent if my partner went and bought a pizza all for himself once the children were in bed. Particularly if money was tight.

I would never contemplate a relationship with a fussy eater or someone with food phobias. Having to prioritise someone else's needs and seek to please them every day would kill any attraction for me.

For me the issue is that you are burdened with the mental load and physical load of planning, shopping and cooking for meals. This is on top of you doing the run around for little one on top of your job.

I think it’s time hubby planned 50% of the dinners and did the shopping - if he’s not around to share the cooking load.

Honestly, it sounds rank. Just get a home delivery pizza and everyone tuck in instead?

👏👏👏

It’s hard being responsible for ALL dinner decisions though. He never decides what they eat.

Maybe she was just fed up and lacking inspiration, plus she likes what she chose and she’s also entitled to have a dinner she likes?? If he is that bothered by what he eats, he should take over meal prep a few days a week 🤷‍♀️ Plus he didn’t even try it which is just childish in my book. Not to even have one forkful?

I don’t get why so many people are suggesting ways for the OP to enable this man-child. The OP can get some pizzas in the freezer, the OP can get a slow-cooker, the OP can ask him to meal plan.

Or he can grow the fuck up, show some manners and cook at the weekends. I love working from home, but I think one of the worst parts can be it undermines the respect a partner can have for your role, god knows why the OP is picking up so much of the load at home.

Bet he’s not even working when he comes home, is sat watching YouTube or is on mumsnet.

Normally I'd say he should have eaten it. I liked your suggestion that "He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again". However you've trapped him. "We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them" so in other words - it's more polite to eat it and then say he wasn't keen, but you totally ignore the not being keen if he eats it. So you've basically trapped him into either being rude and not eating it, or being polite and eating it and being fed it over and over again. Did it occur to you that not eating it, might be an attempt to actually make you polite enough to listen to him, which you appear to be struggling with?!

wow he stacks the dishwasher and sometimes washes up. What a catch!

I could sit at my desk all evening and pretend to work but I don’t because I have a family, I have responsibilities and I’m not a selfish twat. He is either not working efficiently in the day or opting out of family life and conveniently working whilst you are running around doing everything. If you both work full time you should be sharing chores and given how fussy he is sharing the cooking should be first on your list. We sit down together on a Sunday evening, meal plan and share who is cooking which night , do the food order and that’s the week sorted save for any last minute changes. And we both clear afterwards.

As for his behaviour at dinner time, what adult can’t pretend to eat a meal or come up with a polite excuse for not eating and then discretely make something later. Rude, entitled and dreadful modelling for your DC.

Well, one thing we do know is he eats pizza. How about getting some in the freezer for emergencies (and he can cook them!).

Haha?!?!

No way I would be joking about this - he was so rude and disrespectful AND in front of your child. He expects you to take on all the mental load of meals like he’s a giant man baby. Honestly I think you should use this example to say that he has to sort out his own meals for a while. You do not have the capacity for dealing with his attitude / fussiness so you’ll just sort you and your child out. I may not like everything my husband cooks (yes this has happened) but if he’s gone to the effort of making me something, on top of his busy day, I’ll damn well try it. Or at least suck it up in front of the children and discreetly leave most of it 😅

Have what you like. How did what your grown husband eats become your problem? You're not responsible for his nutrition.

I would stop cooking for him. He's rude and he doesn't reciprocate. Just sort you and the kids from now on. You have a full-time job, a full-on life and you're not running a bloody restaurant.

Presumably he knows where the fridge/nearest shop is. So he won't starve.

So now that you've got a big group of strangers on the internet to say hateful things about the man you're supposed to love, do you feel better?

You cooked something you knew he wouldn't like and then got narky when he got himself something different to eat. Weird.

The issue is he needs to model to the children that ok this my not be my favourite but it is what is on offer so I'll get on with it. Obviously if its something he hates, hates and might make him ill, politely decline. But really he should just get on with it, I think his parenting as well as his manners are in question.

Meal planning is one of the most draining of tasks you need a proper conversation with him about how it all works and how much falls to you. DH has done similar and I told him he either steps up and shares the meal planning or he eats what he gets within reason of things I know he dislikes
explain you thought he didn’t like the flavours not the concept (and maybe why) but on occasion healthy quick meals are needed

and start sharing more stuff

I was hoping you’d get 100% YANBU on this, OP. It’s fine for him not to eat something he doesn’t like, but ridiculous to sit there sulking. Not surprising DC copied his bad example at first. He should be a better role model.

Precisely this!

It’s so hard to get children to try new things, eat a variety, etc, and one of the key things to do is make sure that they don’t have the option of “I’ll have something else instead”. Seeing an adult opt for a sandwich isn’t just this one meal – it opens the door to pissing about at every mealtime.

I saw an old interview with the late, great Arteha Frankin recently. The interviewer asked her about her life and what had been the biggest problem she'd had to surmount. This wonderful woman who has fought racism and misogyny her whole life, said in a heartbeat, "Having to figure out what to cook for dinner...every...goddam...day!"

I think your husband was very rude, ungrateful and entitled to turn his nose up at dinner, without even trying it! In the future, I would go all passive-aggressive and not cook him dinner and when he asks why say, "What's the point, you're only gonna chuck it in the bin and buy pizza anyway!"

Sounds delicious. I think I’d be saying ‘you obviously don’t like a lot of my cooking and I’m sick of thinking of ideas so from now on you can do X and Y days to give me a break’. Don’t get the ingredients for him and don’t help him out. My fussy kids returned from university a lot less fussy after having to cook for themselves.

I wouldn't say the issue is that he didn't eat it. It's the rest of his actions.

It was cheeky of him to pull a face when he expects OP to be in charge of food planning and doesn't take any real responsibility. He could at least have spent a few minutes pushing it around and not drawing attention to the fact that he wasn't eating it, rather than putting DC off. He also needs to come up with some ideas for quick low effort stuff, if the solution OP has found that suits 2 of the 3 people in the household doesn't work for him.

It was fine for him to not eat it if he didn't like it though, especially as there's evidently enough money for him to get something else.

I’m quite stunned that there are votes for YABU. I normally cook but when I don’t if I am faced with something I don’t like I try to be pleasant about it and at very least taste. To be pissed off with you for not mind reading is just rude, entitled and spoilt.

You could

batch cook
use the slow cooker
prep the night before and pop in lower oven
your man takes to the club
he cooks