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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

439 replies

Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:27

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

OP posts:
Gallowayan · 08/03/2024 17:47

He's being a dick by drawing attention to the fact he doesn't like it in front of his kids. As a parent he should model apropriate behaviour by showing some gratitude Not surprising that the kids then copy his behaviour. An adult should adapt to the situation and eat what is available especially when time for preparation is limited. Sounds like he has the taste buds of a five year old. Pathetic behaviour.

OneSpunkySnake · 08/03/2024 17:44

reclaimmyboobs · 08/03/2024 17:30

The more I read suggestions that add even more to OP’s load – an eight-week meal plan! – the more I think she should serve food in a bag every single night. Fuck it, do breakfast and lunch, too: put the cereal bag in DH’s bowl. Give everyone soup in a bowl but DH gets his in a Sainsbo’s bag for life. Cash in your pension, liquidate your assets, create a food-in-bag budget and it’s ALL you’ll cook. What’s for pudding? Custard in a bag. Pour his beer into bags. Hide his toothbrush in a bag. Look him dead in the eye and deny all knowledge of where he left his car keys (they’re in a bag). Bag him to death.

Then tuck him in Bed and sing a lullaby.

Ooor: Ask him to cook you the kind of dinner he’d like to have. It will be good fun for everyone.

Should he be outraged by the suggestion, gently point him towards the fact that you are just the same kind of person as him. The fact that you have a uterus, helps in making children but its utterly useless for cooking.

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:36

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 08/03/2024 17:30

Do you also warm your husband's slippers and greet him at the door with a martini?

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Got rid of mine for being useless.
I wasn’t commenting on anything else, I made one point. I disagree with the fact that he should have just eaten it, there’s a chasm load of jumping to assumptions going on about the rest of what I think.

MarkWithaC · 08/03/2024 17:35

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:05

Yes she did, it said in the op

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They had something 'similar' in method but with different ingredients/flavours: Italian, which he likes, so she thought it'd be OK.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 08/03/2024 17:35

Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:51

It was Mediterranean chicken with peppers, courgette and carrots done in the bag (so juicy - if you get my meaning) with Cous cous

Nothing terribly outrageous!

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I would not eat that and would be a bit annoyed you'd bought the brand I don’t like - but I'd try not to be a brat about it

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:34

pootlin · 08/03/2024 17:12

Yes, you seem very keen to avoid the point that this woman does everything (shopping, work, school pick up and drop offs, dropping to after school clubs and cooking) whilst her DH moans about food.

And yes, he can keep making himself a sandwich, he doesn't deserve to be cooked for.

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Hell of a lot of assumptions you just made there

Ahugga · 08/03/2024 17:31

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 08/03/2024 17:30

Do you also warm your husband's slippers and greet him at the door with a martini?

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A martini? No, a menu surely? A man cannot be expected to drink any old drink.

Julimia · 08/03/2024 17:30

He needs to grow up.

reclaimmyboobs · 08/03/2024 17:30

The more I read suggestions that add even more to OP’s load – an eight-week meal plan! – the more I think she should serve food in a bag every single night. Fuck it, do breakfast and lunch, too: put the cereal bag in DH’s bowl. Give everyone soup in a bowl but DH gets his in a Sainsbo’s bag for life. Cash in your pension, liquidate your assets, create a food-in-bag budget and it’s ALL you’ll cook. What’s for pudding? Custard in a bag. Pour his beer into bags. Hide his toothbrush in a bag. Look him dead in the eye and deny all knowledge of where he left his car keys (they’re in a bag). Bag him to death.

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 08/03/2024 17:30

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 16:42

Yabu. You knew he didn’t like it and cooked it anyway .
I disagree that he’s setting a bad example for your kids, I think you were. He asked you not to make it and you ignored that.
He’s an adult and he’s allowed to say he doesn’t want to eat something

Do you also warm your husband's slippers and greet him at the door with a martini?

OneSpunkySnake · 08/03/2024 17:26

Ahugga · 08/03/2024 16:45

He asked her not to make it? Are we in 1950? Does his penis impinge on his ability to locate the kitchen?

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I love where this is going…..😂

T1Dmama · 08/03/2024 17:25

I’m more concerned as to why you work full time AND do all the cooking AND put DC to bed…… does he help at all?? EVER??

OneSpunkySnake · 08/03/2024 17:23

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 16:42

Yabu. You knew he didn’t like it and cooked it anyway .
I disagree that he’s setting a bad example for your kids, I think you were. He asked you not to make it and you ignored that.
He’s an adult and he’s allowed to say he doesn’t want to eat something

He doesn’t need to eat it. But he could have said it in private, not in front of the children.
Imagine if it was the other way around: he cools and she says I’m not eating it….

OneSpunkySnake · 08/03/2024 17:14

GoingDownLikeBHS · 08/03/2024 15:07

This is fabulous, I had no idea this is an option. So you can get someone to decide what to cook, organise it and cook it, you then decide if you like the look of it. If not, regardless of anyone else, you complain about it, sulk, then you get to buy whatever you want? No constraints on time, budget or not being able to go to the shops as you have kids in bed? Where do I sign up?!

Or do I need a penis?

Probably you would need a penis, but these days it’s nobody’s business what’s in your pants so you can just claim to have one and nobody will check.

pootlin · 08/03/2024 17:12

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:08

Because that’s not the point is it. Plus, he did!

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Yes, you seem very keen to avoid the point that this woman does everything (shopping, work, school pick up and drop offs, dropping to after school clubs and cooking) whilst her DH moans about food.

And yes, he can keep making himself a sandwich, he doesn't deserve to be cooked for.

pootlin · 08/03/2024 17:10

Daylightsavingscrime · 08/03/2024 17:05

She said he didn’t like boil in the bag in the OP but ok

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No, she doesn't say he doesn't like boil in the bag. And it doesn't sound like boil in a bag, sounds like one of those oven proof bags that you put the ingredients in and roast.

OP said he hadn't liked them in the past but this time it was an Italian based one and they eat Italian food so thought it would be ok.

No one knows if every meal will be nice beforehand, it's trial and error.

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:08

pootlin · 08/03/2024 17:07

How is it disingenuous to say he can cook himslf if he doesn't like what's on offer?

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Because that’s not the point is it. Plus, he did!

pootlin · 08/03/2024 17:07

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:04

Don’t be disingenuous.

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How is it disingenuous to say he can cook himslf if he doesn't like what's on offer?

Daylightsavingscrime · 08/03/2024 17:05

MarkWithaC · 08/03/2024 13:57

She didn't know he didn't like it.

I had to work very hard not to put that in all caps.

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She said he didn’t like boil in the bag in the OP but ok

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:05

MarkWithaC · 08/03/2024 17:00

She did not know he did not like it.
FFS.

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Yes she did, it said in the op

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 17:04

Ahugga · 08/03/2024 16:45

He asked her not to make it? Are we in 1950? Does his penis impinge on his ability to locate the kitchen?

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Don’t be disingenuous.

Soontobe60 · 08/03/2024 17:01

Honestly OP, meal planning is the way forward. Sit down with DH and kids. Create a list of all the meals you all like. Decide what days you eat what meals, note who’s going to be prepping said meals each day, including clearing up. Make a shopping list then buy all the ingredients. It helps to have some quick meals in the list for when you’re both busy and need to just throw something in the oven such as pizza, salad and wedges.
TBH my DH wouldn’t have eaten what you prepared but he would have been very apologetic about it.

pootlin · 08/03/2024 17:01

Soontobe60 · 08/03/2024 16:57

That’s not what the op said though. He continues to WFH when he returns, stops for dinner then works some more.

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I doubt he's actually working. He's mostly likely doing work he could have done in the office or just scrolling the internet, to get out of cooking and then later to get out of doing bedtime.

Funny how OP has to get her work done in time to pick up the kids.

MarkWithaC · 08/03/2024 17:00

Doodleflips · 08/03/2024 16:42

Yabu. You knew he didn’t like it and cooked it anyway .
I disagree that he’s setting a bad example for your kids, I think you were. He asked you not to make it and you ignored that.
He’s an adult and he’s allowed to say he doesn’t want to eat something

She did not know he did not like it.
FFS.

Ahugga · 08/03/2024 17:00

zingally · 08/03/2024 16:50

If my OH dished up something that I'd previously repeatedly said I didn't like, I wouldn't be very pleased.

That being said, he behaved badly in front of your (presumably) young child. And while no one is perfect, he could have handled himself a bit more maturely.

I think you're both a bit to blame here.

No, sorry. People who never cook don't get to dictate what's for dinner every day. Sometimes it's chefs choice.