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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

439 replies

Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:27

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

OP posts:
betterangels · 06/03/2024 21:02

Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:38

Surely you would at least try it though? Not just refuse to eat it because you didn't like the other ones.

I served it with cous cous as per the serving suggestion.

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Honestly, no. I wouldn't. As a child, I was told to. But that was then,

KestrelMoon · 06/03/2024 21:01

pootlin · 06/03/2024 21:00

Why are you not getting it? OP is run ragged and he’s not even grateful.

Edited
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Grateful for what? Genuinely asking.

trippily · 06/03/2024 21:01

He's taking the piss, I would be incredibly fucked off if I were you. Why isn't he doing any cooking? Does his penis get in the way. Think of the example he's setting to your kids!

Is he upstairs until you call him for dinner? I would stop calling him. If he likes pizza so much he can go and get one again can't he.

Lennon80 · 06/03/2024 21:01

my husband and I will eat whatever the other makes even if we don’t like it - it’s absolute rudeness on his part and a shit example for your children. I’d be livid!

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/03/2024 21:01

I just struggle fitting in my full time job around everything and being expected to do the house chores on top because I'm at home rather than out in an office.

"DH the recent issue at dinner made me realise how unbalanced our lives are. Let's chat about how you can take more of the housework because I can't do everything to the standard you want. If we share, we will both have time to do things properly". Big Smile

KestrelMoon · 06/03/2024 21:00

We always meal plan together as a family. You shouldn’t have to do it all alone as it is a guessing game at that point.

I don’t force my DC to eat anything that they don’t like. Even if they say they will try it and then when looking at it on a plate they are put off, I still don’t force them to try it.

The meal you described- chicken and vegetables cooked in a bag sounds very unappealing to me. I’d rather have a bowl of corn flakes.

So I would not be unhappy he didn’t eat it, or the way he expressed it, because I would not have been set on trying to make my DC eat it.

I think the biggest issue is that you are being hung out to dry. You can’t make a meal everyone likes with no input and no partnership. I think your DH needs to make dinner at least twice a week so he understands the pressure.

pootlin · 06/03/2024 21:00

kitsuneghost · 06/03/2024 20:59

I am not getting all the 'well he can cook then', 'don't lift another finger', 'you eat what you are given'
Unless you are a complete bore with food, there will always be hits and misses. I would never expect someone to eat something rank cause i got it wrong this time.

Why are you not getting it? OP is run ragged and he’s not even grateful.

kitsuneghost · 06/03/2024 20:59

I am not getting all the 'well he can cook then', 'don't lift another finger', 'you eat what you are given'
Unless you are a complete bore with food, there will always be hits and misses. I would never expect someone to eat something rank cause i got it wrong this time.

pootlin · 06/03/2024 20:59

Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:58

He leaves at 7am gets back at 4/5pm then works a bit more until dinner and then a bit more while I'm putting them to bed.

I just struggle fitting in my full time job around everything and being expected to do the house chores on top because I'm at home rather than out in an office.

Show quote history

Is he actually working or sitting at his desk whilst you’re running around?

He is taking the piss, OP.

Original poster
Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:58

pootlin · 06/03/2024 20:52

You work full time, do the food shop and the school pick-up, take the kids to after-school clubs and then cook.

What does ungrateful knobhead do?

He leaves at 7am gets back at 4/5pm then works a bit more until dinner and then a bit more while I'm putting them to bed.

I just struggle fitting in my full time job around everything and being expected to do the house chores on top because I'm at home rather than out in an office.

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 06/03/2024 20:57

That sounds ok… we do a lot of chicken chorizo here. Or chicken curry (usually with patak spices). But I get how boring it is to be thinking of meals for all. I’d make him eat it!

TakeOnFlea · 06/03/2024 20:56

Ugh my friend makes those Maggi things and somehow manages to make it really runny and bland. I couldn't eat it, the steamy weirdness and the texture of the chicken was horrid.

I did have to fess up that it wasn't something I could eat and now, every time we go for dinner she remembers and kindly makes something else. I'm with your DH tbh, but he shouldn't be pulling faces in front of the kids.

Original poster
Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:54

Rosestulips · 06/03/2024 20:48

Option 3

let him write a fortnightly meal plan, make a shopping list and go out and get ingredients. Cheeky fuck

I'd be so happy with this! I hate meal planning and trying to find different healthy meals that are also quick or can all be shoved in the oven.

I don't enjoy cooking and don't have time to be standing over things for ages. I'd rather be spending time with my child who has been at school all day!

OP posts:
pootlin · 06/03/2024 20:52

You work full time, do the food shop and the school pick-up, take the kids to after-school clubs and then cook.

What does ungrateful knobhead do?

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/03/2024 20:52

COUS COUS is NOT ITALIAN. #TeamDH

Grin
kitsuneghost · 06/03/2024 20:51

I would have cooked it as it is a different style to the ones he didn't like. I would have no problem with him not liking and not eating it (note to self don't buy that again). But I would have being annoyed making a fuss in front of DC so putting them off it.

Createausername1970 · 06/03/2024 20:51

There is wrong on both sides.

Don't serve something you know someone doesn't like.

But he behaved badly, and definitely shouldn't have done it in front of the children.

But I do think it paves the way for a conversation about him doing his share of the cooking - and shopping for it. If he doesn't want to, then he either eats what he is given or sorts himself out.

Original poster
Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:51

Radiatorvalves · 06/03/2024 20:47

I kind of want to know what the meal was… he sounds a bit rude (esp in front of DC) but it didn’t sound great.

It was Mediterranean chicken with peppers, courgette and carrots done in the bag (so juicy - if you get my meaning) with Cous cous

Nothing terribly outrageous!

OP posts:
johnboyo · 06/03/2024 20:49

What was the meal?

Rosestulips · 06/03/2024 20:48

Option 3

let him write a fortnightly meal plan, make a shopping list and go out and get ingredients. Cheeky fuck

LoubieIoo · 06/03/2024 20:47

If you knew he doesn't like that type of thing it was pointless giving him it. But he didn't need to act that way in front of the kids.

Radiatorvalves · 06/03/2024 20:47

I kind of want to know what the meal was… he sounds a bit rude (esp in front of DC) but it didn’t sound great.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/03/2024 20:46

He will begrudgingly cook sometimes but I still have to think of the meal and preferably buy the ingredients.

Shame, because he just volunteered for cooking. In this house you can decide how the task is done and do it, or you can shut up. You don't get to expect someone else to do the task and they complain about how they did it.

Original poster
Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:46

Mayorq · 06/03/2024 20:43

"He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?"

Absolutely
......

.......

"We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them,"

Oh

This was a different one.

They are flavours from around the world and this one was Italian. We eat a lot of Italian food so I thought it would be OK.

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 06/03/2024 20:46

I wouldn't have eaten it if I didn't think I would like it, and Italian flavour stuff from a bag with couscous doesn't sound like something I would enjoy. No need for him to make a face about it, or put your children off eating it.