My boyfriend of a year wants to fly to another state to visit his two female friends at college

I completely trust my bf

Sorry, but no you don't. You don't at all.

If you trusted him, you wouldn't think it was 'weird' that he was flying out to see them and you wouldn't be comparing his friendships with women to his friendships with men.

Anyway, yes, YABU. It's not up to you to say which of his friends he can spend money on visiting.

I'm mainly surprised a teenager from the US is on a British parenting website.

That was my first thought too, hesitated to comment because, you know what they usually turn out to be 🙄

"I'm mainly surprised a teenager from the US is on a British parenting website."

Me too. It's not as if there aren't a lot of social media forums that young people can and do access.

Why now and not on a break?
Maybe they've got tix to a local event, maybe he needs a dose of fun, maybe that's when they can all make the time because breaks are full of partners and families.
I've always had friends of opposite sex so has DH... 20+ years later, still not an issue.
I think YABU.
You think this is an indication he values them more, because he's doing something with you he wouldn't do with them... But it's a different relationship, doesn't mean they're a priority.
If he did with with you it would be a regular occurrence because you're a partner, which is not sustainable when you're trying to study...with them it's a one off.
He uses his break time for you... You could say that shows you're his priority, whereas they're getting squeezed in.

Can’t see any issue with someone making a trip to see their mates, and I’d not stay in a relationship where my partner took issue, or felt they should tag along. I’d be out.

I'm mainly surprised a teenager from the US is on a British parenting website.

I'm going to tell you what I'd tell my teenage daughter. You're very young and you are having a long distance relationship. I won't tell you to end it because you're experiencing first love and think this is it. But the probability is that it will end and you should approach it in that way and both prioritise your friends.

If you are right for each other it will feel wonderful and very easy and very right for a long time, probably until one of the big life events like birth, death or major disease. At which point you draw on all the wonderful times that happened before to help you get through the hard stage. But for you at the moment a relationship should be about fun so if it's not fun any more then end it.

I get the bit about he doesn’t bother to see you when not on breaks. I think it’s fun bars as well as his friends, I think it’s something to watch out for whether he doesn’t put himself out for you, if he just has time for you when it’s convenient. Not a dealbreaker and you should definitely not go.

I agree with this. See too many girls (mainly) who prioritise a new boyfriend over everything else, and then when the relationship inevitably ends their friends are no longer around because they got sick of being dumped for the boyfriend.

If I were you I would end the relationship, not over this but over the fact but you are never a priority.

If he is seeing them in term time is term presumably it means can see you when he is on a break.

Why would you be called old fashioned?

Controlling and untrusting, but not old fashioned.

OP, I don't know what the problem is? You can go if you want, you don't, so he can go alone.

God knows

Then why are you in a relationship with him?

It would bother me too . Because I don't 100% trust my fella

You say it isn't a trust thing but it sounds like it is. If it were blokes you'd be fine because you believe him to be heterosexual.

I'm assuming you're all young - college age is 20ish right? In which case yes, he absolutely should be prioritising his friends at this stage of his life, as should you. Sorry.

Yes rightly or wrongly this would bother me too op

I think you just aren’t compatible and the Long Distance Relationship isn’t working for you anymore, and that’s no one’s fault.

He’s not wrong to go visit friends, or to split his free time between family, friends and you.
You’re not wrong to feel like he makes more effort to see family/friends over you or to want to feel like he is prioritizing you and your relationship.

It would be controlling to try and dictate how he spends his time or to insist on an invitation. You need to decide if this relationship is still working for you and figure out if you share the same vision/plan for your future to determine whether the short term pain (of distance) will be worth it.

I think if it’s not a trust issue then you are being a little controlling.
That said, maybe he doesn’t view your relationship in the same light as you do?

Bluntly, friends outlast romantic relationships a lot of the time. People are right to prioritise them. To me, it would be completely mad to sideline friends for a romantic relationship.

Your call, obviously, but my DH of 30 years flew out to Barcelona to see an old friend who just lost her father. To me, that’s a good thing.

Relationships come and go, good friends are for life.

If it's about going somewhere for a few nights partying as much as seeing these 2 particular friends, I'd not be bothered.

Only you know the story here though. When I was 17, against my better judgement, my boyfriend went to visit 2 "friends" about 2 hours away and by the time he came back one was his new girlfriend. On him, not me, but I should have listened to the vibes she gave me!

His time is split evenly between the people he loves, stop being unreasonable