Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you are overweight now do you think your partner still finds you attractive?

136 replies

penelopepinkbott · 06/03/2024 13:25

So I know this seems an odd question but I've been thinking today. I found some old texts and a few naughty pics between my husband and me and looking at my old body I feel so fat. I am overweight (size 14-16) from a 10/12. I looked so good and now I really don't. Can anyone relate? Do you think you're still attractive/ as attractive? Im nearly 40 and I just think he can't fancy me at all.

OP posts:
Geebray · 06/03/2024 14:06

If you want to change OP then you need to do it for you, not for anybody else.

Yes, losing weight made me more attractive imo, but it also made me happier - and a happy person is an attractive person, whatever size they are.

penelopepinkbott · 06/03/2024 14:06

Babla · 06/03/2024 13:56

a size 12/14.

This isn't overweight

It probably is slightly

OP posts:
penelopepinkbott · 06/03/2024 14:06

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/03/2024 14:00

Do you feel he’s still attracted to you? Do you have sex and other physical intimacy? It sounds like this is more about your self esteem rather than how he actually sees you.

Intimacy/sex hasn't changed much. Bit less frequent due to young kids but he's always still up for it. 100% my esteem is rock bottom. I know this is mostly due to the 3 stones I've put on.

OP posts:
penelopepinkbott · 06/03/2024 14:04

Geebray · 06/03/2024 14:00

I was less attractive when I was three stone heavier than I am now. I mean that is just fact, rolls of fat are not attractive to me. I don't doubt that my OH thought the same, although he was polite enough not to mention it.

Yes this is how I feel. He says how he feels hasn't changed but who really finds roll of fat attractive.

OP posts:
Geebray · 06/03/2024 14:00

I was less attractive when I was three stone heavier than I am now. I mean that is just fact, rolls of fat are not attractive to me. I don't doubt that my OH thought the same, although he was polite enough not to mention it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/03/2024 14:00

Do you feel he’s still attracted to you? Do you have sex and other physical intimacy? It sounds like this is more about your self esteem rather than how he actually sees you.

KimberleyClark · 06/03/2024 14:00

I’ve gone from a size 8 to a 12, back down to 8 and am now a 14 in the 34 years we’ve been married. He still loves and fancies me.

ohatefiftyfor · 06/03/2024 13:58

Babla · 06/03/2024 13:56

a size 12/14.

This isn't overweight

Depends on height surely.

Babla · 06/03/2024 13:57

I'm a size 16 makes no difference to DP

Babla · 06/03/2024 13:56

a size 12/14.

This isn't overweight

foodglorious · 06/03/2024 13:28

Same, but husband still cant take his hands off me 😅

I mean we met when we were young, i was 17, now 38 and 3 children later and im a size 12/14.

I can honestly say he doesn't care either way, i do fluctuate and it doesn't seem to make a difference.

He fluctuates also and i really dont fancy him any more/less when he does.