To wonder if DINKs will be more lonely when older?

And to me, that sounds excruciatingly dull and boring.

Almost as if it takes all sorts isn't it.

Agreed. I don't think the feminist boards have any particular focus on motherhood. I have a child, but my feminism predates parenthood.

Dinks lol never heard that one

I find MN does feminism like my workplace women's network does feminism - really interested in issues affecting mums, not remotely interested in issues affecting women who aren't mums. I've read some absolutely vile comments about childless women on here, particularly in relation to how they're treated in the workplace.

Tbf the actual feminism topic is really good - some brilliantly intelligent women and I don't find it like that at all.

Even as a mum, I find the world- not just MN- often struggles to understand mums who live lives outside their families. I go on solo holidays and weekends away often, and always have, even when DC were small ( DH looked after them). This really shocks some people. I also go to gigs, concerts, plays solo often. Because sometimes I really like my own space and not having to trade schedules with family or friends. DH does the same.

Really, in the end all you have is yourself.

I find MN does feminism like my workplace women's network does feminism - really interested in issues affecting mums, not remotely interested in issues affecting women who aren't mums. I've read some absolutely vile comments about childless women on here, particularly in relation to how they're treated in the workplace.

Ouch.
I joined MN when I was pregnant. Went onto MC and not conceive again for a decade. Was I supposed to leave and not come back until I was a parent?
This response of yours says more about your question than anything else. You look down on people who choose to not have kids

There are two threads about elderly parents running at the moment which really illustrate the point that having children does not preclude loneliness in old age.

Another 'me too' to this.

The only part I don't like about my circumstances is that it's very, very expensive so I don't get to enjoy the riches that would otherwise be my due as a childless person 😂.

My friends are wonderful and like a 'found family' but I also find myself very contented living and being by myself, and doing things alone. My worst nightmare is the idea of sharing a house with a man and some children and I'm so thankful that I live in 2024 and can choose not to.

But -- isn't that more to do with the type of friends you have chosen? You seem like someone quite traditionally-minded who is unusually preoccupied with your household and your children, so you would presumably be less likely to have close friends who are less embedded in their families.

Just thinking of my closest female friends, regardless of whether they have children or partners, and what they are doing this weekend if I know -- one will be retreating solo to her little house by the sea for the weekend, one is coming with me to a concert on Sunday afternoon, another is joining us for a drink afterwards. I don't know what, if anything, the latter two are doing that is mothers' day related, but, whatever it is, it's not preventing them from engaging with friends outside the context of their family on mother's day.

I mean, I'm fond of, and close to, my family (and I have a husband and a young son) but they certainly don't automatically always take priority in how I spend leisure time.

Interesting how mothers are surprised non-mothers are on this site, is it really that hard to comprehend, on a site that covers all manner of topics?

Talk about being devisive. So much for sisterhood hey.

Mother's are meant to be nurturing, yet some of the language used here is anything but.

Just goes to show, having children doesn't automatically make you a better person.

I still don't think you're really getting what some of us are saying. Some people will have great friends who act as a sort of proxy family, but for the rest of us it's just about not needing or valuing a lot of time with the family we do have, and not needing our friends to fill a hole. I understand that you do need/value time with family, but you seem unable to understand that I don't? I have good friends, but I don't use them to 'make up' for a lack of family (tbf I do have family, I just don't see them much. Maybe I'd feel differently if I had no family - again, I'm open to considering a different POV in a way you aren't).

Forgot about Mothers' Day... hope this doesn't interfere with my plans to do nothing.

ETA - when I say family I mean extended family, I do value my time with DH. But again we have a lot of time apart.

You can live with a bunch of people and still feel lonely or live on your own and never feel it.

I have posted too much on this thread, but I worry about being lonely too. My family is scattered. At least one of my DC may well emigrate. Another one should really leave the home at least before she gets too comfortable!
I keep trying to build new connections in every decade. That's the only way really, but a lot of work.

I’ve worked with dying people for years.

You’d be amazed how many people with multiple children have zero contact with some
or all of them. Amazed.

there are no guarantees.

Lots of ways to be lonely. Most lonely old people have kids so it's not a protection really. I worry about being lonely a lot but the only way to try to avoid it is to have strong connections with the world (whether or not you have kids).

I think this sounds like my idea of hell and completely exhausting! I would feel suffocated spending so much time with family! The majority of this is focused on doing things for others. Cooking a Sunday dinner for everyone, can't imagine anything worse! This shows that the gruelling work continues even when you are a grandparent. But of course everybody is different and these things may bring you joy 😊.

Me neither! I have a full time job and a child. On a Sunday I want to be bloody relaxing, reading, watching TV, maybe going out for a walk or a coffee or a gym class. Not slaving in the kitchen.

I definitely don't want to cook dinner for my extended family. Cooking dinner for my own family is tedious enough. Thank god these days Dc mostly cook for themselves. This is my time now, not serve the family time!

Me too. Isn’t it funny how we can understand that there are people whose lives revolve purely around their families & who seem to be perfectly happy with that, but they can’t reciprocate?

Same here.

I'm not childfree and I love DS but god some of the things posted here sound awful. Running around after MIL, cooking Sunday dinner for "everyone" bugger that.

The hetro couples I know without children have a much happier marriage because there isn't the unfair division of labour that so often comes with children.

And I’m both single and childfree, with no desire to change either of those situations. And I’m never lonely, and very rarely bored. I holiday alone, eat out alone, go to gigs, concerts, plays, matches, cinema alone etc. I do those things with others at times too, but I am equally if not more content in my own company. I have extended family and friends, but choose to spend Christmas alone. We all have different needs and wants, all part of life’s rich tapestry. I couldn’t bear the type of family life that some are describing here, it sounds suffocating.

If the only reason you aren’t lonely, is because you rely on your kids for company, then that’s not great either, is it?