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Original poster

To bring DD friend away instead of DSD

364 replies

2907fe9166a247bb9ghj3 · 04/03/2024 23:13

I’m taking DD11 away in a few months time to Rome for a long weekend. This is a birthday treat for her.

My husband (her dad) will be staying at home with our youngest.

DD asked if a friend could come and after searching for some deals I said she could. This is now booked for me, dd & her friend.

The problem that’s occurred recently is my DSD15 has recently found out I’m taking DD to Rome and has made noises about it being unfair that she’s not coming. DSDs mum has messaged tonight to ask why is DD friend is coming instead of DSD.

Am I being unreasonable taking DD friend? As it’s what my DD wants.

Just incase it gets asked. I paid for this trip out of my own wages, my OH has not paid for it.

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 04/03/2024 23:26

Marblessolveeverything · 04/03/2024 23:22

Is her father going to bring her somewhere comparable on her birthday?

If not why not? It's pretty poor for her to see her sister being treated better.

I don't think the 15 year old is going to appreciate you are paying etc, you are a couple, her dad is facilitating your trip.

That’s a matter for the OP’s husband and his ex to sort out.

A 15 year old is old enough to understand that the OP has a job and is funding it out of that, and also that you get to choose who you take on a birthday trip.

Thepossibility · 04/03/2024 23:25

“it's a birthday present for DD. DH and younger sibling also aren't invited."
It would be different if your whole family was going and excluding DSD, but that isn't the case here.

Ellmau · 04/03/2024 23:24

If your dh as going too then it would be wrong to leave out DSD. But this is a mum-DD trip.

Presumably DSD comes on all the family holidays.

Bitsiemcgee · 04/03/2024 23:23

Marblessolveeverything · 04/03/2024 23:22

Is her father going to bring her somewhere comparable on her birthday?

If not why not? It's pretty poor for her to see her sister being treated better.

I don't think the 15 year old is going to appreciate you are paying etc, you are a couple, her dad is facilitating your trip.

How is her dad facilitating the trip?!

theduchessofspork · 04/03/2024 23:23

Of course not, your DD gets to choose who she wants. And it’s not likely she’d choose her DSS given the 4 year age gap.

Your husband needs to point out to your ex she is one cheeky fucker, and you don’t want to hear any more about it.

Marblessolveeverything · 04/03/2024 23:22

Is her father going to bring her somewhere comparable on her birthday?

If not why not? It's pretty poor for her to see her sister being treated better.

I don't think the 15 year old is going to appreciate you are paying etc, you are a couple, her dad is facilitating your trip.

Notimeforaname · 04/03/2024 23:20

She's mad. It's your child's birthday present. Nothing to do with her older step sister.

PrimalLass · 04/03/2024 23:20

KrisAkabusi · 04/03/2024 23:18

There's 60 pages of replies to a woman who is outraged that her step and biological children are being treated differently. Be interesting to see how this goes for you!

In terms of a family wedding not the birthday of one of the children who is going away with one parent.

murasaki · 04/03/2024 23:20

Two 11 year old that are friends are totally different from an 11 year old and a 15 year old. And it is your dd's treat, so what she wants takes priority.

Thedogscollar · 04/03/2024 23:20

I'd say if your dd wants her friend to go with her and you are paying for it then I don't see that as a problem.
I'd maybe see more problems if your DSD lives with you and DH

Lauren0000 · 04/03/2024 23:19

"This is a trip for dd birthday, but we are looking forward to planning something for all of us soon"

KrisAkabusi · 04/03/2024 23:18

There's 60 pages of replies to a woman who is outraged that her step and biological children are being treated differently. Be interesting to see how this goes for you!

TooBored1 · 04/03/2024 23:18

Not unreasonable at all. If you take a sibling, it becomes a family holiday and not a birthday treat.

Bitsiemcgee · 04/03/2024 23:18

Does dsd know all of those details?

You aren't doing anything wrong, of course you're not b u

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