How to word to my 11 year old nicely why I don't want her having fake nails/eyelashes.

because you would look like a juvenile drag queen. Full stop.
Then explain what a drag queen is if needed hahahahaha

For me id say:
Manicure / tidy up on own nails / clear varnish
Lash lift
Eye brow wax but no tint

Anything else no

With my dd i always said if she wants these things done she has to go to professionals who can do it properly with the least damage, knowing full well there was age restrictions at salons. I would just discuss that having these things on such young skin/hair can be damaging and it's best to wait until she's old enough to have them done by professionals.

I'd tackle it more from a risk perspective. People can develop allergies to nail products which makes them unable to receive dental treatment as it uses the same chemicals (google for all the right terminology)

False lashes can rip out your natural lashes and you may end up very patchy permanently.

Once she's an adult she can make the decision to take those risks, but until then you're not prepared to do that.

Mascara and stick on nails / nail polish is all that you'll allow.

I don't believe predatory men are fooled by little girls wearing fake nails. But I believe they will claim they were; I also believe that if the worst comes to the worst, some jurors will give such men the benefit of the doubt. Worse, so will some judges.

Here is a link to a case where a 41 year old man lured a 13 year old girl to his home, where he had her "perform a sex act" on him. This man possessed child abuse images and images of bestiality. He walked free from court with a suspended sentence, because the judge said the girl was "predatory" and that he was satisfied the man had thought she was older than 13.

man spared jail because 13 year old victim looked older

It doesn’t take a lot of thought, no more than remembering to buy loo roll or put petrol in the car.

Obviously some people don’t like the look, don’t want to/can’t afford it, disagree with it on principle or whatever- but it really isn’t a big thing to think about or do if you do want to.

It’s not necessarily the time or money involved. It’s the thought. I don’t know anyone who does these - they would indicate a high-maintenance person to me.

Tbh I've not read the whole thread but if it hasn't been said already then I hope this is helpful. I'd google articles which explain the longterm damage that acrylics can do to your natural nails esp at such a young age. Also the dangers of false lashes. I know of someone who lost their sight in one eye because the glue was incorrectly 7s
used and this was in a salon!
This might help weight to your reasons against her having these at such a young age.

"No" is a complete sentence.
You are the parent.

Salons shouldn’t even be doing these treatments on people under 16/18 so there’s your answer.

My old hair dressers there was a nail bar. Something in the air as I walked through to the Salon area set me coughing. I was definitely allergic to something in the air. The people who do it all day you have to wonder about their long term health.

Mine is now 13.
She’s had the stick on nails and this Xmas I did her nails myself with gels as I have the kit at home. They both damaged her nails and she’s not been in a rush to do it again.
Same goes for the eyelashes. I have her some stick ons for this Xmas for the first time. She tried them with some success but was quickly fed up of them and hated the removal process. Not tried them since.
A the end of day I’m not interested in what other kids parents agree to SHE is MY child so I will decide what I consider to be an appropriate time for her to try these things.
Anything that’s costly like real lashes or acrylics are a big fat no! Her school is pretty strict also.

False eyelash glue can block tear ducts and cause eye infections because bacteria grow on the glue. I think it's OK to tell an eleven year old that as a parent you get to make decisions that might have health implications. Letting her experiment with mascara is a compromise and she can practice taking it off properly too.

Parenting teens is a tightrope act. I know exactly how you feel about trying to be diplomatic and not offend other parents.

My daughter is nearly 12 and sports mad. The nail thing isn’t an issue (as she wouldn’t be allowed to play netball with them). She is happiest in a football kit/sports gear. But… she loves a little bit of makeup on a weekend and on special occasions subtle false lashes. I have absolutely no problem with this… she’s experimenting and she is doing it for herself as she enjoys practising (she’s actually better than me at applying it). I think with guidance and openness you can strike a balance.

also…big tip is an eyelash curler! My girl loves hers, gets the look she wants but it’s incredibly natural!

It's bad enough for full grown women, but for kids embarking on puberty, and absolute source of danger and long term hormonal damage and even cancer

INGREDIENTS IN ACRYLIC NAILS & WHY THEY ARE HARMFUL

Acetonitrile- Toxic colorless liquid. Extremely dangerous substance and must be handled with caution. It can cause serious health effects and or even death. Can cause headaches, numbness, weakness, dizziness.

Formaldehyde- Used as a preservative. Can cause respiratory problems such as coughing, bronchitis, chest pains, and wheezing. Can damage the lungs by causing lesions. Can increase your risk of cancer.

Methacrylate Monomers- Form of formaldehyde. Can cause irritation to the skin, eyes, mucus membranes, allergic dermatitis, asthma, liver toxicity, and fertility disturbances.

Methacrylic Acid- ?? - its in acetone nail polish remover can cause skin irritations.....

Phthalates- Can disrupt the hormonal system, which can cause harm during critical periods of development. If you are pregnant do not get acrylic done or prior to pregnancy can harm the baby or cause fetal loss. May cause Breast cancer.

Monomer- Poisonous and harmful substance. Can cause skin allergies , headaches, loss of the nail plate, and loss of sensation to the fingertips. Long term exposure can cause permanent damage to the nail technicians respiratory system and liver.

This made me feel sick. Do people realise the damage it does to the nail bed, and the endocrine changes it causes?

It's a phase. By 12 and 13 they have moved on.
It's painful. But they have to go through it. Don't fight it.
They aren't jail bait. They are just young girls experimenting. Don't make them feel bad.

If you just say not a chance in hell then they’ll be like a dog with a bone. The teenage years are akin to a hostage negotiation and you have to let go of a lot in order to concentrate on the stuff that really matters like drinking, sex etc etc.

I think that’s just par for the course parenting teenagers, and this child isn’t a teen yet.

I think if you let things go too soon they just push the boundary further next time, so I’m inclined to hold the line just now with expensive, high maintenance beauty. I’ll loosen the reins as she gets older but there’s no need for an 11 year old to have fake nails and eyelashes, nor indeed for my 13 year old.

My daughter’s asked me a few times why she has to x, when her friends don’t; or why she can’t do y…

Not our business what other people do, I’m just telling you what we do/don’t. Some things don’t need any back and forth 🛑

My nieces had acrylic nails at 8 and 10.

No, not if their mum says no.

And I was responding to a post about a 21 year old.

I must be old-fashioned as I am shocked at children as young as nine having fake lashes and acrylic nails.

They are really not age appropriate. They are children, as is OP’s daughter.

And they are absolutely noticeable.

I've always just told my DD she is beautiful just the way she is. .. That worked until a formal at 16... Nails, tan, lashes 😂... all temporary, confess all the girls looked great & still quite natural, but stick on nails did look a bit scary.

Chatting to a friend about the one night transformation, she mentioned that the glue for acrylic nails may cause allergies and anaesthesiatists (sp?) (friend's close family member is one) are finding that more and more young women are becoming allergic to something in anaesthetic, but only find out when they are receiving one (which obviously is not ideal!)

More commonly, see link below. So you could go down that line...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-45129280

I suppose "because false eyelashes look like caterpillars crawling over your face" is probably not diplomatic enough.

But Withinthesewalls is talking about a 21 year old…

”My 21 year old DD has only started dying her eyelashes and waxing her eye brows as 'she doesn't want to be high maintenance'. I'm all for girls experimenting with makeup and hair dye but not until mid teens.”