How to word to my 11 year old nicely why I don't want her having fake nails/eyelashes.

100% get it.

I see so many tween girls with OTT false eyelashes/nails.

To be fair I also think it's very unattractive on adults.

At our local (very large and very popular) shopping centre the tans/lips/eyebrows/eyelashes are seemingly trying to outdo one another.

I'm absolutely not in touch with fashion these days as cannot fathom at all how and why these young women think this OTT fakeness looks good?

I'm of course careful not to use such insulting language in front of my DDs as would hate for them to think 'ghoulish' is an appropriate way to describe any young woman despite what I've typed on here.

Can only think it's the Kardashian's etc making it desirable?

One of DDs friends mums said not too long ago amazing she thought all of the local traveller women looked. Seemed such a flip to me from when the Gypsy wedding show was on TV to basically mock them and now it's what's in fashion.

Hi. I’m going through the same thing with my 11 year old. In primary school all her class mates were fake tanning and coming out with eyelashes on. Personally I think they’re too young and it looks awful. My daughter shows me pictures they all put on social media, snap chat etc (now in high school) yr 7. And I really don’t like it they look so young n done up too much wearing next to nothing. I feel it’s a constant battle with her saying no you’re too young I allow make up: minimal. And she’s happy with this but constantly asking to have all this other stuff. It’s really grinding me down saying no and other parents telling me to do let her and I almost say I don’t want her to look like a whore - sorry! But that’s how I feel yes they are growing and these are the new trends as opposed to what we had but I really really don’t like it. Especially when I see pictures of her friends posts! She’s even told me their mums buy them vapes, but it’s ok cuz they’re nicotine free! I really dislike it all and struggling with it all its a constant argument I keep saying she’ll thank me when she’s older or even if she has a daughter of her own. She’s gone to high school and quickly has gone my sweet caring respectful girl she’s all door slamming, eye rolling, attitude, angry, woe is me, ‘chavvy’ (not to offend I had this stage) girl. Who talks to me with so much disrespect and does nothing. And has everything .. minus the mentioned. Please tell me I’m not alone!

Shocking and bordering on abuse actually.

Very very well said. Thanks.

They aren’t my children so it isn’t my business. I wouldn’t let my 10 year old have them, he would definitely rip his nail beds off in 5 minutes flat.

Surely if there were a time for parental veto that would be it?

It’s an hyperbolic worst case scenario.

They wanted them as birthday presents and their mum said yes.

I am not remotely blaming schools. 🙄
I meant schools where there is a mass of children dressing like this. I could have said areas or communities but people were talking about their kids’ friends at school.
Of course it’s the parents.

Why be shocked at the schools? You should be more shocked at the awful parents that allow it.
I think the poster was meaning she's shocked that there are schools where there are a lot of parents who allow their children to do those things from such a young age.
That's how I interpreted it.

Why be shocked at the schools? You should be more shocked at the awful parents that allow it.

No, it isn’t. It’s very well said.

This is 1000% hyperbole

I am shocked that there are schools where ten year olds are using fake tan and having false lashes and nails. I am clearly in a naive bubble. It must look horrific, like one of those American pageants you see on TV.
I'm not because I've seen thread after thread on here where some parents will dress their children in sexualised clothing, let them conform to toxic expectations of female beauty and insist that anyone objecting to this (because the children are children) are the problem here. They usually insist that it's pure coincidence that their pre-teen daughters find these expectations and clothing choices empowering so adults thinking children should be children are the wrong ones.

I am shocked that there are schools where ten year olds are using fake tan and having false lashes and nails. I am clearly in a naive bubble. It must look horrific, like one of those American pageants you see on TV.

Good luck OP. I would not allow it in a million years and wouldn’t care if my daughter despised me for it.

A few stories on issues people have had with the glue on both nails and lashes may work (shudders!)

Another argument is

Just because you can or want, doesn't mean that you should

When she has a job, she can pay for herself

I think the cost is enough reason by itself.
I'd tell her you don't mind normal nail polish or stick on nails, or mascara, but the rest is ridiculous and high maintenance

Why? They are children.

Show her Pamela Anderson recently with no make up & other similar celebrities

Celebration of "natural beauty"

You could also explain the cost
Nails & eyes once a week versus a holiday, car, or something else

I do not wear make up & I am not a lesser individual !

Yes, but the very fact that you even have to/want to think of it still would indicate high-maintenance to me.

No salon I’ve ever visited would do acrylic nails and lashes on someone so young!

My dd has started to really get into nails and lashes, as a compromise she’s used my stick on one from primark (and some other I had) with the sticky pads (not nail glue) and we’ve got some mascara and lash curlers which I’ve shown her how to use..nails are strictly for non school days and school has a very loose make up policy, I think it says natural. I also gave her some clear lip gloss and she’s raided my make up and got a few bits of mine.

She has asked to nails like mine however mine are real and stupidly long I need to cut them down and told her to stop biting hers 🤷‍♀️

She’s also asked about skin care, so this week I need to look at getting her some to be fair her hormones are running rampant and she’s breaking out in spots

My standard response until recently was that she’s too young and whilst others are allowed I am not happy with it, it wasn’t liked but that’s tough.

@Minimili how did you manage to rip off two nails opening a parcel?!

My friends daughter wanted false nails, lashes and tan and I put her off.

I’ve worn false eyelashes for nearly 15 years and I used to have beautiful long thick lashes, I now have little wispy short ones. At one stage I had NONE and looked like an egg. I’m trapped in a cycle where I still have to wear the strip lashes or I look awful and my contact lenses don’t stay in.
I’ve had severe eye infections from extensions as well.

False nails need maintenance which is boring sitting for 2 hours having them done. The longer you wear them the more it damages your natural nail and they became thin like paper and it hurts to have infills. Without the false nails they break and split.
I ripped off two false nails (and I have them as short as possible) opening a parcel. The pain was excruciating and I couldn’t bear to look at my fingers with the missing nails. I was also on reduced duties at work and struggled to do anything for almost 8 months when they were growing back.
The stick on nails are impossible to get off and damage and rip off natural nails.

False tan makes your skin dry and so itchy that I’ve gauged out lumps of skin and have had bruises and even scars from scratching. I stopped using it but I know a lot of people who just put up with the reaction too it and would prefer to sit and scratch like they have fleas then pale skin.

I told my friend’s daughter all this and then said how much nicer it was to use nail varnish and you had the benefit of changing colour without having to spend a fortune and sit for hours.
We looked at expensive mascara rather then lash extensions and gradual tan if she wanted to fake tan that would at least moisturise her body too.
I also said that if you dress up just on a special occasion it makes a much bigger impact then dressing that way all the time. We looked at pictures on line of natural beauty vs fake beauty.

It might not work with your daughter but you could try it? Show her pictures of missing fingernails that definitely persuaded my friends daughter!

It’s difficult when you want to fit in and keep up with peers and just saying “no you are too young” isn’t going to stop her wanting to do it. Is there someone older she looks up to who can say something?

Shes far too young to start messing with her appearance when she has the beauty of youth. Unfortunately we don’t realise it till we get older - we spend our younger years trying to look older and then get older and are desperate to look young again, if only we realise how lucky we are at the time.
I think it was Marian Keyes who said “I wish I was as fat as I was when I was in my twenties and convinced I was fat”
I’m paraphrasing but it’s the same with youth!