To HATE my dog

I think it is very sad that you hate your dog.

This.
PLEASE REHOME YOUR POOR DOG.

Just rehome the poor animal- you are not really fit to own a dog, and it sounds as if the arrival of your children has made him totally unwelcome.

The cat will be next.

I hope you are not a nurse or teacher, or in any caring job.

@Blossomo that's a pretty low bar saying he doesn't starve. One thing doing borrow my doggy has taught me (and I've had several for 3 weeks at a time) is that I don't want a dog permanently. I don't like doing walks in the rain, hate having what feels a really grubby house, get fed up of clearing shit off the garden and find it hard to work if I've got a dog that needs constant attention all day (the one I've got at the moment- a beautiful young working spaniel bitch does) she's incredibly lovely and very loving but very very full on , a bit like having a 2 year old toddler who doesn't go to nursery and I've realised if I did have a dog it needs to be laid back and non needy - thecockapoo we look after sometimes is way more like that. . I think you either have to get him neutered , get to the bottom of his spaying and make a big effort to do a bit more than just his basic needs or find a family / rehoming centre for him - that's the problem with pets, your circumstances can change and what felt a great idea, suddenly doesn't. I think that's why so many who had pets and particularly dogs in lockdown are finding 'it no longer suits' -- they didn't think about the tie , or that their circumstances might change. I do think it's actually quite brave to admit you aren't enjoying him- it's a bit like admitting you hate motherhood!!

Your ANIMAL is not getting all of his needs met. This is why he doing this. You do not deserve a pat on the back because your neglect of him is not as bad as it could be.

You aren’t leaving him outside to starve? Well done you. 🙄 As you were at pains to point out, he is an ANIMAL which means he is completely dependent on you for everything. You owe it to him to do more than feed him. Have you even taken him to the vet to check for medical issues? How much exercise (physical and mental) does he get each day? I won’t ask about affection or positive interactions with you, as you’ve made it clear how you feel about him.

Yabvu to hate your poor dog.

You need to step and you have been given loads of advice on how to improve things but you will need to put in some time and effort. You cannot leave things as they are, the dog deserves better. If you won’t then you need to rehome him safely through a rescue.

You probably shouldn’t have pets. I wonder what will happen when your cat gets pissy. They often do through stress or old age. Ours did after my son was born but we worked through it. They were part of the family. I didn’t hate them for it.

more stressful ? bollocks !

Come on OP put your big girl pants on and rehome your Pug responsibly,
you have suggestions of decent Animal Rescues and at least 2 offers of a home - there is a very good chance that these people are genuine and will look after him for the rest of his life.

You say you have trained him, I think you mean you toilet trained him when he was young, this is not a toilet training issue.
Now that children have come along he is clearly an inconvenience to you and you even admit you hate him, and that he annoys you ! POOR DOG he didn't ask for this, he doesn't deserve this !

NO ' animal ' deserves to be hated, your PET DOG deserves to be loved ! and wanted !!!

The OP already has another pet - a cat.

Agree with the rest of your post, but just wanted to say for anyone reading that please don't get guinea pigs if you don't have time for a dog! They are time and labour intensive pets.

Have you been to the vet with him?

Anyone who has ever had a bond with a dog will know that 'all they care about is where their next meal is coming from' is absolute bull.

There is something between hating 'the ANIMAL' and treating a dog like a human @Blossomo. Animals need properly researched care for the entirety of their life not just until your eye goes off the ball because you have adult responsibilities and a new cat.

You yourself said, "It is really unfair to him as he could be with a family who love him" so why don't you do the decent thing and make that happen.

My male
Dachshund was very hard to train he's 1 now and much better it's not that we didn't put the time in to train him he was just very very stubborn probably the worst dog to train too! I would say get him neutered, put a baby gate up at the bottom of the stairs, as with the barking when he's outside play with him with his toys in the garden, hide treats so he can sniff them out, or put his Kong outside so he can be distracted from just barking.

Get the dog neutered - it reduces leg cocking in inappropriate times.

Make sure the dog isn't bored and is getting plenty of stimulation. Walks are great and sniffing uses LOTS of mental energy so 30 minutes very slow shuffle round the neighbourhood sniffing every 5 feet makes the dog more tired than a 30 minute jog. 2 walks a day is ideal and some other company / activity in the day time.

Babygate to stop dog going up stairs.

Why didn’t you get him neutered first thing, esp as you did your cat?
I don’t know much about dogs but I’m sure that you should neuter them too.
And training is also v important- h have many friends who have dogs and know they take them to be socialised/trained.

Too late to edit but meant to add to list of “to dos” :

~ start “look at me” training, keep part of his dinner back and use that rather than loads of extra treats and reward him if he looks at you, come to you etc on your command “look at me”. Do it frequently throughout the day for a couple of months and when on walks too. You can add on sit and stay later. And substitute food element with strokes and affection later.

^^ this is foundation of all training and will help you with recall and diverting his attention away from barking in the garden (give him something more interesting to do like dig area or toys) and eventually, when you remove stair gate, away from stairs.

Poor dog. He's probably picked up on your hate and annoyance, add his shit life to that and you have stress soiling.
If you're not going to spend the time and money on him and hate him then you should do the right thing for everyone and rehome him, you're not setting a good example to your kids either.

So are people tbf

Absolutely this.

Knock yourself out if that floats your boat.

How old are your dc op? And when did this behaviour start? Any particular event coincide with it like moving house or youngest starting school?

He sounds like a lovely dog btw but he and your family are mismatched because he probably needs more one on one with lots of attention and you need a dog who is more aloof and independent.

The peeing is probably stress related due to separation anxiety.

~ vet check to rule out physical issue and discuss castration if he is entire
~ put all emotion like hate or frustration out of your mind and treat your dog’s unwanted behaviour as a communication signal - he’s not doing it to upset you personally - his behaviour is telling you something
~ video his behaviour when he is alone and you are all out (easily achieved using cheap indoor security camera)
~ ask behaviourist to help
~ buy the book Calming Signals by Turid Rugaas
~ stair gate
~ allocate an older kid to be his main number one person if you have a child over eight or nine years
~ give him his own little secure area within the home such as a (very large) crate with blankets, toys, where he can hear radio, and put some old jumpers of yours in it that has your scent on it or the scent of his main “person” and some chews
-once pee issue solved ask behaviourist to work on barking and sort area in garden that he doesn’t feel he has to constantly defend.

Honestly, I don’t usually suggest this, but if none of the above strategies work then I would consider re-homing him and getting your dc Guinea pigs instead or no pets! I think that is preferable to living in a household for another seven years where he is seen as an inconvenience and no one has time for him. Good luck! If he is sociable and friendly out on walks that is giving you a big clue.

Good luck op.

There is good advice here in why your dog does this and how you can help his behaviour
but the best thing you can do for him is to re-home him. Do it via a breed specific rescue, there will be pug rescue, contact them now. Poor miserable, bored dog.

I think it’s clear from your last reply just how much contempt you have for this poor creature. Let him go. Someone upthread has given details of the Pug rescue. Please let him go and give him up for someone who will treat him how he should be treated, with kindness and respect as a living creature not just ‘AN ANIMAL’ as you so nicely out it ffs!
And please, never get a dog again.