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Original poster

To cancel the wedding?

242 replies

Anothertiredteacher · 04/03/2024 06:35

We are supposed to get married in early June. The wedding is in a registry office in the city we live in but I know family who live about an hour away have booked hotels/Airbnbs in the city.

I found out yesterday I’m pregnant, which is lovely but very unexpected. There’s no question about whether to keep the baby but we are debating cancelling the wedding.

I’d be about 17 weeks pregnant by the time the big day game around. So we wouldn’t tell anyone the reason why we’re cancelling the day. I’m only about 3 or 4 weeks pregnant at the moment so well aware that anything could happen with the pregnancy.

Is it massively unreasonable and unfair to those who have already paid for accommodation?

OP posts:
Untethered · 04/03/2024 07:29

Get married for the financial security if you are the lower earner/SAHM.

Have the registry at least.

Then maybe have a party in a couple of years.

BurbageBrook · 04/03/2024 07:26

It is a bit odd, yes, and a bit unreasonable to guests! Why on earth would you cancel? Plenty of people marry when pregnant. At 17 weeks you'll be showing a bit but will be able to get away with an ordinary rather than a maternity wedding dress, just maybe not in your usual size or slightly altered by a seamstress.

Sparkletastic · 04/03/2024 07:26

Even more reason to marry as swiftly as possible.

Cbljgdpk · 04/03/2024 07:20

Also It’s easier to wedding plan and actually get married while pregnant than once you have a baby or small child. You’ll barely have a bump at that stage.
Also think about whether marriage gives you financial safety.

candycane222 · 04/03/2024 07:20

I was 6 months pg when we got married - definitely showing 😂. It was a wonderful day and we had a lovely honeymoon (weather was crap but the sex was terrific 😁)

Roselilly36 · 04/03/2024 07:16

Many congratulations OP, what lovely news. I would get married, but scale down the plans, have a smaller wedding. Good luck.

Cbljgdpk · 04/03/2024 07:15

I’m also not sure why you’d cancel. I think people will be upset if they lose money.

Littlebowiepeep · 04/03/2024 07:13

I don't get why you are thinking of cancelling the wedding ??

strawberryandtomato · 04/03/2024 07:13

Congratulations. People will pretend to be okay about the cancellation but I'm sorry that's just not on at all. Also I don't really understand why you would cancel. This is surely more of an incentive to go ahead!

rowanoak · 04/03/2024 07:12

I have no idea why you’d need to cancel. I was 7.5 months pregnant when I got married and it was the best day of my life. I would do it over every single year if I could.

solarised · 04/03/2024 07:09

OP I think it would help if you could explain why you think it might be cause to cancel. Is it the stage of the pregnancy? Worries about how your symptoms will be on the day? Worries about the social stigma of being a pregnant bride? The money?

Waitingforsomethinginteresting · 04/03/2024 07:07

I don't see why you'd cancel? I agree with previous posters this may sound old fashioned but surely there's more reason to get married now then before?

circlesand · 04/03/2024 07:06

Why would you cancel? Being pregnant isn't a debilitating illness. Lots of people get married when they are pregnant.

solarised · 04/03/2024 07:04

Are you cancelling because you're worried as you won't be at 20 weeks?

PinkPink1 · 04/03/2024 07:04

Why would you cancel? I didn't look pregnant until quite far on in my pregnancy. I doubt people would notice if you didn't drink alcohol. It would also be a nice time to announce the pregnancy because you're past the first scan.

Sonora25 · 04/03/2024 07:00

Don’t cancel, go and read the threads of the women who are in a financially bad position because they never married the father of their children.
a wedding with a baby/toddler is harder and more stressful than pregnant. Drinking is not everything!

MississippiAF · 04/03/2024 06:59

I got married at 16 weeks pregnant and had a great time, no need to cancel. It’s lovely as there’s no post-wedding blues, you have lots to look forward to afterwards

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/03/2024 06:58

Surely now you have two things to celebrate. If the only reason is you won’t fit into your dress, surely in the scheme of things that’s a bit silly….? Get married op.

PoochiesPinkEars · 04/03/2024 06:57

That said 'wise words @GRex '!

ViciousCurrentBun · 04/03/2024 06:55

What’s your financial set up?

You would be stupid to cancel your wedding. Forget what your frock looks like or any of that hearts and roses malarkey and consider what happens to you and your child if you ever broke up with your partner and are unmarried.

PoochiesPinkEars · 04/03/2024 06:55

@GRex

twohotwaterbottles · 04/03/2024 06:54

Don't cancel. Just think you'll be able to tell darling child that they were actually at your wedding and all three of you loved it. It'll be really special 🥰

moonjump · 04/03/2024 06:54

Absolutely don't cancel, there's really no reason to.

Plenty of people have got married whilst pregnant, and it will be a lot easier for you than getting married when you've got a baby or toddler to add into the equation.

Jifmicroliquid · 04/03/2024 06:53

My friend got married at 5 months pregnant. She was barely showing at the time but even if she had been, she wouldn’t have cared.

Why would you need to cancel the wedding? Your baby is basically a guest to your special day, I think it’s wonderful!

GRex · 04/03/2024 06:51

Maternity wedding dresses are gorgeous, have a look at some.

Do you want to marry your DP? Saying no to that would be the only reason to call it off.

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