To cancel the wedding?

What would be the problem? Whether you can wear the dress you would like to? If it’s a first baby, you will very likely hardly show at all by 17 weeks.

Or being unable to have a few drinks? Wanting to save the money for all the baby gear?

Good luck with the wedding @Anothertiredteacher and wish you a happy healthy pregnancy!

You probably won't even need a bigger dress at 17 weeks. I'm in my second pregnancy and my belly has just balloned but I was barely able to notice my own "bump" at 20 weeks. Still in the same clothes. Most people I know have lost weight in the first part of pregnancy. 17 weeks is a really good time, the nauseas gone, you're not getting big, youre not swollen. It's the perfect time for a wedding.

I barely drank on my wedding day anyway, you can join the champagne toast still. You'll have a fantastic time.

Get married unless you are particularly unwell because of the pregnancy. 17 weeks you will hardly be showing and you can still go on an exotic honeymoon and relax for a week or two. You won’t be able to do this again for years and years- you’ll either have to take the kid or be worrying about them left behind.

I know every pregnancy is different but for me weeks 14-28 were the best of my pregnancy, I looked and felt great and wasn’t showing massively at 17 weeks (I had a little belly but it was easily concealed, I didn’t announce my pregnancy to the wider team at my work except my manager until 22 weeks and no one had guessed).

Nice one, OP - enjoy your big day, and good luck with the planning.

I say don't cancel it, everything will be fine, don't worry.

Why would you cancel?

Obviously every pregnancy is different but you should be over the first trimester sickness/tiredness and won’t be too big yet so it shouldn’t impact on your day too much.

@Anothertiredteacher

Get an artfully concealing dress and get married.

You and your child are legally very vulnerable if you don’t. And it will get put off forever and a day once you have a baby causing chaos in the house.

Get married and enjoy your day!!!

I got married 30 weeks pregnant with twins!

I don’t think there’s a new way to ask ‘why do want to cancel the wedding’ after 5 pages of it 😂

Are you thinking you’d then get married a few years later when you aren’t pregnant?
Because leaving aside the financial security and all that bit (which is important) that will be harder anyway. You’d have a baby or toddler you’ll want to include in the day, having to accommodate them, maybe bringing them on honeymoon or not bringing them but missing them and feeling guilty…
Early - mid second trimester is generally the best part of pregnant. Most (but not all!) women tend to feel bloody fantastic at that point. Travel insurance and flying isn’t an issue.. Really, if you had to plan to get married pregnant that would be the time to do it.

17 weeks you will have told everyone or can announce it on the day like PP suggested.
Im not sure why you would cancel unless there is a huge backstory like the baby isn’t fiancés or something! 😅

i guess the op will feel large/have a baby bump
that is understandable,

Why?

Absolutely do not cancel - unless you don't think you want to be with your partner anymore. You have all the more reason to get married now - for practical and financial reasons that set your baby up for a more secure start to life. And if you are planning to have your baby, a wedding with a baby in the oven as opposed to running around, causing chaos will make for a much more enjoyable day. You can actually have time for each other. You can stay up as late as you want without needing to end your wedding night early to go home for bedtime. You can take a honeymoon without having to worry about childcare or taking a baby along. For a whole lot of practical reasons, getting married before you become parents will make the day so much easier and more enjoyable.

i guess the op feels embarrassed to be showing?

People are asking cos it's extremely odd to be like 'I'm getting married! Oh, I'm pregnant, I should cancel' without stating why. It implies that it's a perfectly normal, reasonable thing to cancel, so of course there's no need to say why. People are a bit confused by the non-sequitur. It's a bit like if someone came on and said 'I was planning to make lasagna for lunch, but then I found a hole in my jumper! AIBU to make pizza instead?'

I'd say all the more reason to get married!

The only reason I can think of is if you want to drink champagne but it sounds like a small intimate wedding anyway.

Surely it's more important than ever that you go ahead? Presuming you love your partner and want to be married, with a child in the picture you really need the legal protection that marriage brings.

I’m confused like everyone else why you want to cancel?

Some of these replies are bitchy?

Asking if it's because she can't drink or doesn't want to look pregnant at the wedding is more telling of the asker's than the OP.

I'm with you OP, I would want to cancel. It's an unexpected cost, you have no idea how you'll be feeling by then, you may be unwell or exhausted and get to enjoy the wedding build up and the day itself, if anything happened to the pregnancy the photos from the day would be really painful to look at...

That said, you may want to cancel but that doesn't mean you should. If you can afford both, try and do it. Wanting to cancel is understandable but don't put things on hold.

It really is. It's almost like OP deliberately left out the very crucial info which is WHY they want to cancel the wedding.