To cancel the wedding?

The only real difference is that you won’t be able to get drunk. You can enjoy a glass of fizz though and no one likes a sloppy drunk bride so you’re not losing out on anything.

A pregnancy bump also doesn’t change anything (and you might not have one. I never looked pregnant; right up to giving birth; I didn’t look pregnant). You’ll look happy and beautiful, and it will be a lovely moment to have together before you become parents.

Appreciate all the responses. Will get dress shopping for a bigger dress and plough on.

When you say bigger dress, I wouldn’t really plan on a baby bump as that’s pretty unlikely at 17 weeks with your first. Most people I know, self included, didn’t start to show that early until the third pregnancy, and that included someone who had the figure of a toothpick and was having twins. Just plan that your waist area may thicken up a bit at this point, that will be the only issue so don’t get a dress really well fitted to the waist area.

Aww congratulations. I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

Unless you are having twins it's highly unlikely you will have a bump at 17 weeks.
If memory serves, the baby will lie quite low in your pelvis and be fully protected by it until about 20 week. At that point the baby's size will mean it outgrows the space available and you start to see a hint of a bump.

Based in my experience, what you will find is that your waist will become thicker. Your shape will be more akin to that of a main with waist definition slowly disappearing. So high waisted trousers and very fitted dresses will mean you will go up one or two dress sizes.

So if you are off to buy an alternative dress I'd consider something less fitted/body con if that's your usual style.

Hope you have a wonderful day !

Good luck with the wedding and 17 weeks is probably the time you’ll feel the best after the morning sickness has gone. And a lovely time to announce at your wedding! You can always plan a boozey holiday away post baby if that’s what you want or have your honeymoon when ever if you can’t do what you planned, if it was climbing Everest for example.

I've been to at least two weddings where it subsequently turned out the bride knew she was in the early stages of pregnancy. I really hope you won't feel too sick etc and of course that's a concern but you can't cancel a wedding in case you feel sick or you could never have a wedding. as illness of some kind is always a possibility in life. Crack on and have a lovely time! And double congrats!

I’m impressed someone cut it even finer than I did (two weeks before due date, though he was late, anyway)…

You may not even be showing at 17 weeks if it's your first pregnancy. I wasn't showing properly until about 29 weeks.

At 17 weeks with a first baby you might not even be showing. I got married at 22 weeks and my (tiny) bump only came through the week before. You might feel a bit nauseous on the day but I don't think that's a good reason to cancel unless your morning sickness is more extreme than most.

I cannot understand why you'd want to cancel? Hopefully you'd feel quite good at that point in the pregnancy, if it goes well. And being kind, you are very early, and there is a long way to go. But assuming all fine, it's much better to protect yourself financially by being married, particularly if you take unpaid maternity leave or reduce your working hours.

Yes, you can look lovely at the time!

DH did suggest we start trying for a baby shortly before the wedding but I said no as I wasn't sure how I'd feel physically - as it was both my pregnancies I felt pretty fine for most of them. As people have said, after 1st trimester you'll stop feeling any morning sickness (which isn't a given, I had nothing more than brief, mild feeling of nausea for a few weeks) and early pregnancy tiredness, which I had for first 4 weeks second time around and generally you'll be feeling very well at that point if anything.

Glad you're going ahead - mazel tov on baby and wedding!

@Anothertiredteacher

You’ll be in second trimester - usually you feel superhuman and amazing then - past morning sickness, glowing skin and lustrous hair, adrenaline for nesting… I loved that bit.

3rd trim you might have a point as you start to get knackered, uncomfortable, pelvis problems, all that jazz…. Unless you develop a major health problem I don’t foresee any issue - yes you won’t be able to have alcohol, but that will often be the case when the baby is born so might as well get used to it!!

Congratulations on baby and wedding!!!

Plenty of people have children before and during wedding planning. Some people don't get married at all. Not sure what kind of taboo you're trying to avoid here.

Break that generational BS now. Have your beautiful healthy baby and enjoy your wedding and if anyone says anything disinvite them.

You don't have to cancel, at 17 weeks your bump will probably be small. My sister got married 9 days before she gave birth

Good for you. And congratulations. (From someone who got married less than a fortnight before her due date…)

Go ahead with your wedding and yes it is unfair to cancel when people have booked accommodation and possibly travel as well and if you do cancel you may not get these people to be able or want to come in the future when you have cancelled

Another here who thinks this is an additional reason to get married as planned, not a reason to cancel. A couple of my friends were visibly pregnant when they married and they both had full bridal gowns and religious wedding ceremonies. It wasn’t an issue at all. It was lovely.

could you change the day slightly? By 17 weeks you won't feel too bad. The worst for sickness is the first trimester.

Could you reign in the day and have a party a year later for your own celebrations?

I'm 29 weeks now and 17 weeks was among the best I've felt - over the first trimester crapness and before starting to feel big and uncomfortable. I was also barely showing.

Obviously I've no idea what style your dream dress is, but you will still be able to wear something beautiful that isn't a sack.

It won't be the exact day you originally planned but it can still be really lovely, and you could have a big boozy party for your first anniversary (if you're into that kind of thing!) x

Good decision, OP. As someone suggested upthread, announce it at the wedding. Everyone will be thrilled for you! All the very best to you.

I postponed my wedding when I found out I was pregnant as I'd of been 7.5 months pregnant and there was no way I'd of fitted in my dress. Wedding is now rearranged for this year

People are crazy on here. It's really not too hard to see, that for LOTS of people, a wedding is not just a legal ceremony, it's a full on wedding. It can cost a lot of money, others can travel a long way, they might want a full day celebration of eating, drinking alcohol, dancing for hours, of looking absolutely amazing in a dress that costs a fortune and you've worked towards toning up/ losing weight so that you feel your best so you can look at pictures for the next 50 years and say I looked amazing.

Lots of other people might not be bothered about that, but the fact that the wedding industry is such a large money making business suggests that a large amount of weddings are!

And while some people might feel amazing at 17 weeks pregnant, others might be absolutely knackered and need an afternoon sleep every day, some might be tiny, but others might already look like their ready to give birth, some might be able to climb mountains, others might not be able to walk around Asda comfortably (sadly I was in the big and painful camp!).

So yes, you might want to go ahead, or you might want to change your plans to legal ceremony now and a party next year, or you might want to postpone til you can hopefully have the wedding you want. Any of these is okay. And ignore people being a bit of a berk about you being daft, you're entitled to spend the money on the wedding you want.

Don't worry about having a visible bump. I bet the guests have guessed you aren't a virgin....

I'm guessing you don't want to look pregnant in your wedding photos

But that's not a good reason to cancel, and I think it would be unfair on guests who have paid for accommodation

I'd also worry in case any subsequent wedding might look like - we split up, then found out I was pregnant and decided we had to stay together for sake of the child although we didn't want to be together

If you want pregnant absolutely even more reason to get married. And significantly easier to do it before the baby arrives.

If first child you should hopefully be absolutely fine at that point and only a small bump, if that