To cancel the wedding?

Hi OP,

I got married abroad with 150 guests at 17 weeks pregnant. It was great, you really don’t need to worry about it.

we didn’t tell anyone before (due to complex fertility history) and we did tell people whilst there because I had a small bump and a tight dress. It really wouldn’t have been that noticeable at that stage with it being the first, I just looked bloated. I did find making sure the dress fit stressful as I was travelling abroad 2 weeks before the wedding so there was a bit of guess work to do with how big I’d be, but it was fine.

generally you’d be feeling quite good 17 weeks (without any other problems like HG). I stayed up until 5 am, I was tired but was well past the initial fatigue with the pregnancy. I guess I would’ve liked to have a few drinks but I wouldn’t change any of it now. Also there’s so many added benefits to being expecting at your wedding, it’s lovely, all your guests are going to be so delighted for you.

Also just as a side note.. now that I have a baby there’s absolutely no way I would be able to plan a wedding now, I’m too busy and my brain is too full!

I got married (though quite a small do) when I was about six months pg, my ankles and feet were pretty swollen, but it was a lovely day! My nausea had definitely eased by then, that was mostly confined to my first trimester. Very glad we married then. All the best OP!

In the nicest possible way you're being totally unreasonable 😂

I'm glad you're going to go ahead, as others have said it will be the perfect point in your pregnancy to get married. What a special year for you both - enjoy 😊

ah, get married! It'll be lovely and you'll have a lovely extra thing to celebrate!

Oh double congratulations OP! Absolutely crack on with the wedding. It’ll be much easier to organise before you have a child that’s for sure.
At 17 weeks you’ll probably be over the worst of the morning sickness and not yet be totally exhausted so perfect timing. Hope you find a beautiful dress and have a wonderful day.

I don’t get why people don’t tell until 12 weeks. When I was pregnant I was nauseous and tired, so I told people to make sure they knew why I wasn’t my usual self. If I’d miscarried I would have said so too. More openness there needs to be around this. No point for the hush hush secrecy.

I would deffo continue with the wedding. It will be harder to do with a baby and organise around that.

Appreciate all the responses. Will get dress shopping for a bigger dress and plough on.

Excellent!! And congratulations xx

Definitely go ahead with the wedding. Planning a wedding with a baby/toddler will be so much harder work! You won't be able to drink if you get married this year but you'll still have a good time.

In theory (I know it doesn't always work out like this, but in theory) 17 weeks should be the ideal point in pregnancy to get married. Your morning sickness should hopefully have subsided by then, and you won't feel as knackered as you will in the third trimester. And your bump will probably be showing, but not enormous, so you'll probably still be able to have a similar style of dress as you had already been thinking of.

Love these empire line dresses it’ll disguise a pregnancy bump and make you look like a Jane Austen heroine

Thank god! Definitely plough on and get married!

Chances are you won’t want to drink much and will feel a little queasy with nerves anyway. It’s much easier to have a wedding whilst pregnant than a wedding with a baby!

You have even more reason not to cancel and double the reasons to celebrate!
Any symptoms you have now, will likely have passed by then
If necessary just rethink your dress choice

You'll never get round to getting married if you wait until the baby is here. Please go ahead!

Will get dress shopping for a bigger dress and plough on.

Well done, OP. I was going to comment 'Stop messing about and get the fuck married!' but I see you are doing. I hope you find a fabulous dress, have a wonderful wedding day and a very happy marriage. May your posts on Mumsnet always be happy ones.

I don’t think I drank much at my wedding either - it’s v full on and you don’t have time - you can still dance when pregnant too!

This sounds like a good decision!

The reality is, if you put it off till after the baby is born, it could be years before you get around to it.

I hope you have a stunning day!

Not sure why you would cancel!
At 17 weeks you won’t be showing - maybe slightly more rounded but I am slim and didn’t show properly til about 30 weeks! You can get dresses altered v close to the date anyway.
The sickness should be gone by then so you’ll be able to enjoy the food and obviously no drinking, but you could have a nice non-alcoholic cocktail made!!

A different perspective to others. I got married at 13 weeks pregnant. I had awful sickness (which lasted my whole pregnancy) and my dress had to be altered last minute as I had a visible bump (1st pregnancy.) I then spent my whole 2 week honeymoon sick and exhausted. However, I'm glad we didn't cancel/postpone as I don't know when we would have had the extra money or time to get married after the baby was born.

Look through MN for all the stories of “we have 4 children together and aren’t married and I’m a SAHM and now he left me help I’m completely screwed”. Then get married before having a baby. Never mind what kind of a day you have, the important thing is to sign a contract giving you legal and financial rights in case things go wrong.

Why would you cancel? Life plans don't have to stop because you're pregnant!

You'll likely feel your best around 17 weeks as that is usually the 'easiest' part of pregnancy, so that is one bonus.

Congratulations, twice over!

You'll be able to have the same day you envisioned at 17 weeks. You won't be too big (hell, I'm 26wks right now and I'm still in normal clothes) and any morning sickness should have passed by then. I barely drank on my wedding day, there was just too much going on. Your hen do if you have one might be different but it'll still be fun!

Plus your hair will be 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

Agreed. They kind of pop out around 20 weeks but until then the most you feel is a bit bloated. 17 weeks is usually the blooming stage so with luck you will look amazing.

Congratulations! By 17 weeks it is likely you will be feeling a lot better than in the first trimester, but also unlikely you'll have a big bump so just consider this when shopping! Hope you have a fabulous day and what a lovely thing to tell your child that they were there on the day 💞