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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move to Yorkshire from the south coast on my own?

291 replies

MintyCedric · 02/03/2024 22:26

It’s a medium term plan (DD currently at uni and elderly mum would make it difficult atm) …probably in the next 3-5 years…I’ll be in my early fifties by then.

I’ve lived on the south coast since I was toddler, but these days I have about 3 friends here…one is single but has a very active social life, the other two are married with family commitments.

I fell in love with Yorkshire when I visited for the first time about 8 years ago. I feel like it has all the cultural stuff that interests me, but with less pretension and I love the countryside up there. I’d also be able to get a nicer house than my current one with no mortgage…a major consideration as my mortgage currently runs until I’m 67 and I have limited pension provision.

Despite all these pros, my DD and my best mate are being quite negative and unsupportive. They feel I ‘made more effort’ here to socialise I wouldn’t want to move, but it’s really not about that…I just want a fresh start.

AIBU to think I could move in my fifties, on my own and create a new life for myself?

And if anyone has any opinions on Harrogate and surrounding areas or Otley/Burley/Poole in Wharfdale as places to live…bring it on!

OP posts:
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Tadaaaah · 17/03/2024 11:28

Kickstartplease · 17/03/2024 10:59

Reading with interest, eldest child currently at Uni in the area & I don't think will head back this way & I really like the idea of fire side reading, after long walks.
Currently in the Northwest but in an expensive area so I would be able to release equity & retire earlier.
Does anyone know what the SEND support is like for young adults? Younger child has significant needs

SEND support is apparently Okish in the Leeds area if you're persistent, but absolutely dire if you have a Bradford postcode. Source: close relative.

Kickstartplease · 17/03/2024 10:59

Reading with interest, eldest child currently at Uni in the area & I don't think will head back this way & I really like the idea of fire side reading, after long walks.
Currently in the Northwest but in an expensive area so I would be able to release equity & retire earlier.
Does anyone know what the SEND support is like for young adults? Younger child has significant needs

Alwaystired23 · 17/03/2024 10:29

I went to Yorkshire for the first time in October half term and can completely see why you want to live there. It's beautiful and the locals are really friendly.

Ringpeace · 17/03/2024 10:25

Burn Bridge is a lovely little place between Harrogate and Leeds (nearer to Harrogate). Pool In Wharfedale and Harewood as well.

Dunno if anyone's mentioned Boston Spa yet - it's not between H'gate and Leeds but it's a gem of a small town. Looks like someone's taken a chunk of Bath or Stamford and dropped it in Yorkshire.

MintyCedric · 17/03/2024 10:10

Thanks for all the new replies!

The main thing about relocating more so than financials and career is if you know no one and want to be sociable and make new links how good are you at it?

This is my daughter’s concern as I’ve been quite a homebody for the last few years. But when I get out I’m confident with people and quite the chatterbox 😁. A move up north would give me more time and disposable income to have opportunities to meet people. One of the things I’ll be checking out this summer is what kind of community stuff and hobbies etc are going on in different areas.
I read and write as a hobby so Harrogate appeals from the Festivals PoV, and I’m a member of an online group that is based in Leeds and has meet ups from time to time.

There’s also a women’s outdoors group that my friend leads in Lancashire and they have a sister group on Yorkshire I’m keen to check out.

Plus I’ll be working so hopefully meet people that way, and at some point may get a small dog!

So I have a few starting points.

Re the weather.

I’ve actually had one of my Alexa’s set to Keighley weather since my last trip there nearly two years ago and it’s rarely much different from down here.

I like a lighter evening and a bit of sun when the time comes but I absolutely loathe hot weather…I’m asthmatic, with raging hayfever and since the bloody menopause, eczema as well. I hate feeling hot and sweaty so the lower temps wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.
I’m at my happiest curled up with blankets, books and a cuppa!

@PoodleJ
I’ve no idea where Farsley is but it sounds nice - will have a look.

If anyone has any recommendations for areas between Leeds and Harrogate I’m starting to wonder if that would be a shout. Looking at Indeed yesterday there seems to be a lot of interesting job opportunities there and also the uni which might well suit me.

The main thing that’s holding me back now is changing jobs. I started my current one in September after a few years out (carer/freelancing) and a really awful time at my previous school (they were recently successfully sued by another former member of staff which gives you some indication of how bad it was).

The one I currently work at is fabulous…the job is great, the people are wonderful. I love everything about it…but it just doesn’t pay enough. I have a second job as well and basically have just enough leftover each month to live on student food, buy petrol and keep the cats.

There is a possibility this could change in the next few months, but if it doesn’t I will probably be having quite a serious house hunt in August as I’m not sure at the moment whether staying put is even sustainable due to CoL. Downsizing where I am isn’t really an option as there’s little difference in price between a decent 2 bed flat and a distinctly average 3 bed terrace, especially once you take moving costs, ground rent and maintenance into account.

I’ve think I’ve kind of made the decision that if I can make it work financially for the next couple of years (until DD finishes uni) without changing my current job, I will, but if it reaches the stage where I have to get another job, I’m just going to bite the bullet and make the move in one go…completely fresh start.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 17/03/2024 10:06

Floatinginvacherin · 17/03/2024 08:58

It’s very rare that I’m talking to friends elsewhere in the country and they’re having significantly better weather. These last few months have been pretty dismal everywhere. The weather is really not drastically different to further south - I’ve lived in both places. And the east is generally drier than the west. Not this winter I agree!

You're joking. Every summer we get the summer haters whinging about the heatwave/long hot summer when it is cold and damp in my part of Yorkshire.

They all live in the South East or London.

Ringpeace · 17/03/2024 10:03

Leeds really is great. Some excellent shops, pubs and restaurants. Absolutely bustling on my last visit the other Saturday. You can be in the Yorkshire Dales in about 45 minutes too.

Laurama91 · 17/03/2024 09:58

I live in a large village near Hull. You can walk into any of the pubs here or next village and people will be happy to speak to you. I'm sure you'd make friends and wouldn't be lonely.

BIossomtoes · 17/03/2024 09:57

ilovebrie8 · 17/03/2024 09:46

I’m reading with interest I’d love to move to Leeds…love Yorkshire ! Trying to persuade my other half

Leeds is named as one of the best places in Britain to live in today’s Times. Apparently it has the highest salaries outside London, combined with still reasonable house prices. I’d live there in a heartbeat, it’s a wonderful city.

Ringpeace · 17/03/2024 09:53

I'm laughing at the posts that make Yorkshire sound like it has an 8-month monsoon season, three days of weak sunshine and then the rest of the year covered in an ice sheet.

ilovebrie8 · 17/03/2024 09:46

I’m reading with interest I’d love to move to Leeds…love Yorkshire ! Trying to persuade my other half

Floatinginvacherin · 17/03/2024 08:58

It’s very rare that I’m talking to friends elsewhere in the country and they’re having significantly better weather. These last few months have been pretty dismal everywhere. The weather is really not drastically different to further south - I’ve lived in both places. And the east is generally drier than the west. Not this winter I agree!

SallyWD · 17/03/2024 08:57

Regarding the weather - as a southerner (also from near Brighton) who's lived in Yorkshire for 12 years, I can say yes it's slightly cooler here but the difference is smaller than you'd expect.
My southern friends and family always make assumptions that we're suffering much colder weather than them so out of curiosity I always compare the forecast. Just checked now.
The temperatures for Leeds (where I live) for the next 3 days are 15, 13,15.
The temperatures for my home town near Brighton for the next 3 days are: 12,13,14.
So it's colder down south! And this isn't a freak event. Often when I check it's warmer here in Yorkshire, or similar temperatures or maybe one or two degrees warmer down south.
Regarding the rain, yes we've had a remarkably wet winter but my parents down south say it hasn't stopped raining there either! When I visited them in Feb, many areas were flooded.
All I'm saying is, yes if you look at the stats it's marginally cooler here but on a day to day basis it's often similar. It's not like moving from southern Spain to Norway! The difference has never really been noticeable to me as a southerner.

BirthdayRainbow · 17/03/2024 08:30

I'm sure @MintyCedric has thought about the weather! Don't be so patronising.

Yorkshire is an incredibly special place and when one gets the call it's hard to ignore. I've not lived there since 1991/2 and I'm moving back this year. I can't wait. The South might have slighter warmer and occasionally dryer weather but it's not home and I've lived here since 1993.

dancinginthewind · 17/03/2024 07:41

Have you got the option to rent for a year? I know it might sound ridiculous but I wonder if you might find the weather more different than you expect and then there's the lack of sea. You don't say what your budget is and whether you'll have to pay stamp duty but, even without that, buying & moving costs are quite high so, once you've moved you'll be committed. The downside of only renting is that you won't be committed in quite the same way as you'll know you have a get out.

Yocal · 17/03/2024 07:32

Yes, consider the weather, it's the reason I dream of moving down South!

Tadaaaah · 17/03/2024 07:19

I haven't managed to read every single post, but have you factored in the weather?

Moving several hundred miles north means cooler and wetter weather, which if you've only visited Yorkshire in Summer might come as a shock. It's basically chucked it down nonstop since October this year, with only a handful of those nice frosty sunny winter days.

Heating costs can be much higher as a result of the colder weather too.

PoodleJ · 17/03/2024 06:40

MintyCedric · 02/03/2024 23:07

That’s really useful and encouraging.

Utley (which I think is Ilkley way) is a possibility. I’ve seen a couple of absolutely beautiful cottages there, although wouldn’t be saving me money as it stands atm!

For the next feee years I’m just hoping to keep moving forward in my job and do plenty of recces to narrow down locations.

When the time comes I’m hoping I may be able to rent for 6-12 months before taking a permanent leap.

Utley is not Ilkley way at all. It’s nearer Keighley. Houses are a reasonable price but there’s not the same feel as the upmarket towns you’ve been suggesting.
I would write down a shopping list of things you’d need and things you’d like. Then try and fulfil that list. I think one of the issues without knowing an area is how quickly areas differ just by moving a couple of streets away is you can go from somewhere you’re happy to live to somewhere you don’t want to live.
on your list of places to consider I’d add Baildon, Saltaire, Silsden, Hebden Bridge, Oxenhope (if you’re into very quiet), Knaresborough, Farsley (city life with cafe culture). Enjoy choosing your new place and don’t listen to what people are saying.

PeggyBoard · 17/03/2024 06:23

@Saschka It only changed to Fugging though. Be glad you're not from my parents home town of Wank. 😂

Saschka · 17/03/2024 03:13

RampantIvy · 10/03/2024 18:05

I would add Penistone to that list.

I’m well aware it isn’t pronounced like that (I’m from Doncaster), but I could never move anywhere that even looked like it was called Penis-ton.

Even the Austria village called Fucking gave in and changed its name a year or two ago.

CharSiu · 17/03/2024 02:43

The main thing about relocating more so than financials and career is if you know no one and want to be sociable and make new links how good are you at it? I have had two major relocations arriving knowing no one the first time and arriving with DH the second time. We will also be relocating again one last time In about 3 years and buying a house with some land. I find chatting to people easy as does DH. Will happily go along to a class knowing no one.

It is true about some not having enthusiasm for Southerners, I moved from down South decades ago. I still to this day get ooh your posh aren’t you or you haven’t lost your accent, a nurse said that one to me last week, I have lived North longer than South now.

UpsideLeft · 17/03/2024 02:13

I've always lived in the SE but I'd love to live in Yorkshire

rubyslipperss · 16/03/2024 23:15

I'm from the north but live south and whilst I've loved bringing my kids up here my heart is in the north . Do it - you won't regret it - I'm tied to the south in a few ways atm too but if I have the chance I'll go back . Check out villages north of York , Pickering also beautiful. York quite pricey but a lovely city with loads going on .

Lassiata · 16/03/2024 22:55

Have heard good things about Knaresborough.

Lassiata · 16/03/2024 22:50

I have lived in both Otley and Harrogate. Both lovely, I prefer Otley but I'm a West Yorkshire, girl, so. Harrogate does have great shopping for its size, train station, good hospital. (DS2 born there.) Ilkley has the best of both worlds in my opinion and better walks than either.