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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move to Yorkshire from the south coast on my own?

291 replies

MintyCedric · 02/03/2024 22:26

It’s a medium term plan (DD currently at uni and elderly mum would make it difficult atm) …probably in the next 3-5 years…I’ll be in my early fifties by then.

I’ve lived on the south coast since I was toddler, but these days I have about 3 friends here…one is single but has a very active social life, the other two are married with family commitments.

I fell in love with Yorkshire when I visited for the first time about 8 years ago. I feel like it has all the cultural stuff that interests me, but with less pretension and I love the countryside up there. I’d also be able to get a nicer house than my current one with no mortgage…a major consideration as my mortgage currently runs until I’m 67 and I have limited pension provision.

Despite all these pros, my DD and my best mate are being quite negative and unsupportive. They feel I ‘made more effort’ here to socialise I wouldn’t want to move, but it’s really not about that…I just want a fresh start.

AIBU to think I could move in my fifties, on my own and create a new life for myself?

And if anyone has any opinions on Harrogate and surrounding areas or Otley/Burley/Poole in Wharfdale as places to live…bring it on!

OP posts:
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MumHereAgain2023 · 02/03/2024 23:00

Do it!

SallyWD · 02/03/2024 23:00

Go for it! I'm a southerner (also from near Brighton) who now lives in Yorkshire. I've been here 12 years now and really don't want to ever leave.
The scenery is beautiful, the people are very friendly and many places are affordable.
Harrogate's lovely but pretty expensive. I love all the surrounding villages. Otley seems nice. I know a few people there. I prefer Ilkley though - close to Otley but I think it has a little more charm. I love walking on Ilkley Moor. I also like Bramhope (between Leeds and Otley). It feels like a country village but very easy to get in to Leeds.
I don't think you'd regret moving here for a second.

Walkthelakes · 02/03/2024 22:56

Thirsk is also nice and affordable

EmmaEmerald · 02/03/2024 22:55

Hi Minty!!

Why not. Re the negativity, friend of mine moved north and told most of her friends at the final stage. She was in rented, had organised a transfer within her company, and bought a house. She’d not even have got a flat to buy in London.

She told them a fortnight before moving date. Of course many were upset. But when she floated the idea of leaving London, most of her friends were aghast. So rather than talk about it, she just quietly did it. Obviously you can’t do wrt your DD but I wouldn’t concern yourself too much about your friends’ comments. You want a fresh start and you’ll be better off. Sounds good.

My godchildren are in Yorkshire. I really like it. I haven’t been up there since 2017, they like to come to London. but my sister goes a couple of times a year and loves it. I appreciate it’s different as a visitor but you will know what’s right for you. She also likes Harrogate, I’ve never been. But everywhere I’ve been around that way, I liked, especially Ripon.

IncenseLight · 02/03/2024 22:53

Definitely a great idea.

Quite frankly, unless anyone is offering a cash payment to clear the mortgage and "make up the difference" for you, it's none of their business.

If you're a midrange person on a solo income then the cost of accommodation is SUCH a life changing difference.

I'd probably think about taking time, and not buying immediately so you can scope out areas.

I'd think about the usual considerations....those old remote cottages look beautiful but they evolve into isolated money pits sometimes.

I imagine even if you drive you might want somewhere walkable.

Also, some extra space in case you ever want to AirBnB for extra income

(probably not your first thought but can be a useful contingency plan if you're in a beauty spot).

Walkthelakes · 02/03/2024 22:53

I’ve lived in Brighton too. It’s an amazing place but I think if you are feeling an urge for change then follow it. Welcome to Yorkshire!

Babyandmexox · 02/03/2024 22:47

My grandparents live in wetherby and it's lovely there 😊 and it's your life if you want to move and make a change do it!! Do what makes you happy

loobylou10 · 02/03/2024 22:47

Keighley and Harrogate are very different areas! I live in Haworth and Would thoroughly recommend it!

Original poster
MintyCedric · 02/03/2024 22:44

I’m most familiar with Haworth/Keighley and Harrogate.

Love Harrogate and surroundings, but also like the idea of Otley area as it’s kind of between the two areas I know well.

OP posts:
MissBennettsSister · 02/03/2024 22:42

I don’t know the area well, I think if you moved to a smaller town or village it might be nicer.
And of course much easier with your mortgage paid off.

I’m thinking stone built houses and cottages, but I may be romanticising it 🤣

James Herriot type of thing. There are areas like that.

Try and find somewhere with lots going on, so you can get out and make new friends and join clubs

Original poster
MintyCedric · 02/03/2024 22:41

Thanks for your replies.

i live near Brighton currently so CoL definitely more expensive! There are lots of nice things about where I live but I just feel like I need a change and the financial implications could be life changing in terms of my being able to work a little less and/or have more money to actually live.

I was in a less than ideal relationship from my early twenties to early forties and the last few years have been an absolute shit show with divorce, job issues and bereavement.

I want to do something for myself and make the most of the next twenty or so years.

OP posts:
stonebrambleboy · 02/03/2024 22:39

Skipton is nice. A bit further north Ripon, Leyburn , Richmond and surrounding villages are lovely.

orangegato · 02/03/2024 22:38

Yorkshire is the best place on earth.

Lifeinlists · 02/03/2024 22:37

Do it! You're talking about some of my favourite places. I've been exiled for decades ( DH's job took us elsewhere) but go back as often as I can, which isn't often enough. Still got lots of friends and some family round there.

I can't advise about current housing etc but I'm sure others can. They're not the cheapest areas but there'll be enough choice in your price range.

Your DD and friend don't want you to change the status quo but sometimes you have to do what works for you. Obv your DD needs consideration but you're not proposing Australia.

Walkthelakes · 02/03/2024 22:34

I live between York and Harrogate. I particularly love the scenery past Harrogate into the dales and Nidderdale. You can live in a lovely town but be pretty much anywhere in Yorkshire within an hour

Obeseandashamed · 02/03/2024 22:31

Yorkshire is beautiful and a place where the locals are very friendly! There are lots of groups and activities you can join. The cost of living I would suspect is cheaper than where you are now. Harrogate is perhaps a little busier and convenient for travel but still has a close knit community.