Aibu to wonder why private schools produce more "well rounded" children? Is it the school or the parents?

Lol to no disruptive children!
I taught in both state and private...worse behaviour in private schools!

You could also ask Aibu to wonder why private schools produce more "arrogant" children? Is it the school or the parents?

Not saying they are or they aren't, but since we are doing generalisations...

My state school (bog standard comp) did really good trips in the 1980s and 1990s, I did three language trips for five days to a week to France and Germany in five years, plus a week long residential team building trip in the UK. Could have also gone ski-ing but didn't fancy it.

It's a crying shame that state schools can't offer such opportunities now.

What I don't understand is why state schools can't replicate at least some of it - they manage it in other countries.

I mean, I assume it's money, and probably number of pupils, but US schools have entire stadiums, meanwhile some state schools can barely manage to have a school pitch/court with the proper lines painted on it.

My kids (state, small - about 400pupils)) primary in Ireland buys in dedicated drama/dance/science/sport/whatever teachers either for one-off lessons for the school or on a weekly basis - I'm very impressed with their provision actually, these roaming PE/Drama/Science teachers just have a set of schools they service, so the kids get the specialist teaching, but it doesn't cost the earth for the individual schools.

Do they?

Aren’t the stats overwhelmingly higher for kids who believe they have gender identities outside of their biological sex, from these schools?

A sack of qualifications and being able to play a musical instrument is an extremely shallow view of what "well-rounded" means. No wonder we end up with the absolute shower who think of themselves as the intellectual and righteous elite just because they have more money.

Are they kind?
Do they have emotional intelligence?
Are they self-aware?
Are they generous and tolerant?
Do they have a good understanding of other people's lives and circumstances?

Ticking all those boxes makes someone a well-rounded person, not qualifications and money.

I don’t know about ‘more rounded’ though. You could argue that being around mostly people who are like you in terms of social class leads children to be socially and culturally less aware.

Its access to facilities and opportunities, which comes from money one way or another.
The small rural comprehensive I attended had sod all facilities, no extra curricular apart from the hockey and football teams. There was no money to pay for accessing things privately, or time to ferry us about.

Access to better resources (funding) provides private school children with better opportunities both at home and at school.

Most PS children also have families who can afford: tutors, holidays that expose them to different cultures, extra curricular activities with specialist teachers etc.

The school is funded by fees unlike state schools which face horrendous cuts to their budgets.

Money gives people exposure to better resources and education - so the children are more educated.

Pots of money doesn't make for good parents.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7308039/Britains-private-schools-awash-Class-drugs-according-new-study.html

Loads of parents spend money on their kids but have no time for them.

Of course private school students are more well-rounded. Their education is more well rounded, therefore they are.

My children all left school with much higher than average academic results than they would otherwise have achieved. More importantly they have all been exposed to learning music (to a high standard) and to sport and other cultural extras. Not a brag, just what it is. Two of my three are ND, another reason for our choice to go private.

We are not wealthy and have literally worked ourselves to the bone to put them all through a fantastic education. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

Private schools choose their customers, state schools have to take everyone.

Gosh, what a lot of nonsense! Private schools are not all equal, some are ghastly and despite appearances, great facilities etc you cannot polish a turd. The best ones do turn out well rounded individuals who can get on with anybody but the worst feed all this lower middle-class smugness.

Define ‘better’?

If ‘better’ involves having recognised I was brought up with very counterproductive scripts about friendships by timid, withdrawn, people-pleasing parents, working on myself in adulthood, and, despite moving around a fair bit internationally, making and maintaining good friendships, and not imagining ‘cliques’ and ‘exclusions’ everywhere, people-pleasing to people I neither like nor respect because I can’t handle the repercussions, or needing a week’s notice so I can have my house ‘visitor-ready’, then yes, perhaps. Certainly a better relationships model to DS than I had.

Who says they do produce more well-rounded children? I don't even agree with the question.

Sounds like class discrimination talking.

They also produce a lot of illegal drug taking teenagers, useless politicians and completely rubbish nepobabies.

Well-rounded my arse. (Yes, it is).

It's the parents, not the school.

I attended and work in a state school and see lots of "well rounded" children.

The key factor is the parents - they have TIME for their kids, encouraging them to do different things, limited how much time they spend on a screen, or doing the hobby with their children. It's not about money, as lots of hobbies are free or really cheap.

Where I don't see well rounded kids, I usually find families that have more children than they have time for so kids are left to their own devices, or quite a few parents who just don't seem to care that much what their kids get up to, and are quite happy for them to come home from school and straight onto a screen. I know some don't even sit at a meal table and eat whilst on their PS4!

At private school, then I guess a lot of parents perhaps use money rather than time to achieve the same, depending on if they both work or not.

It's a bit of both.

There's not much in it if I compare the excellent state school I worked (that happened to have a more affluent catchment than most) or the private schools near by.
All those schools could spend a substantial amount of their time on education, behaviour was good overall, teachers could offer enrichment opportunities because they weren't spending every night dealing with the growing list of non-teaching pastoral burdens that disproportionately affect some schools. The state school was able to offer a rounded curriculum because they had the teachers to do it and they weren't having to limit the curriculum to do lots of English and Maths catch up.
The parents in all schools generally valued education and wanted their children to do well. Most of the children did some enrichment opportunities outside of school, probably because a lot of the parents had their own interests and hobbies.

Across those schools I'd say the biggest factor affecting being well rounded was having well-rounded parents who value education, hobbies and a range of interests, and have the means to give their children those opportunities.

In a situation where someone can't access the sort of state schools like the one above then I think the school makes a big difference.

To answer your question OP it's money

I'm not sure whether well rounded is the right word but if you've got decent facilities then your much more likely to want to do sport. If you can afford musical instruments and decent music teachers then your more likely to want to play an instrument

When you've been part of a sport team you will then find it easier everytime to slot into a team.

I also think a lot of parents who send their DC to private school obviously want to justify the expense so will spend a lot of time telling you how well their child is doing and all their hobbies.

Just like not all state schools are equal, neither are all private schools. Though people seem to think ‘state’ or ‘private’ are accurate definitions on their own.

State schools - local shit comp (I went to it), grammar, single sex state school (they exist), state schools Labour politicians send their kids to (London oratory, Grey Coat School London).

Private - the ‘public schools’ Eton, Winchester, Rugby, then the average private school and then the small local ones.

To suggest children can be described by the type of school they went to is pretty limited. We can all generalise Eton / public school toff old boys, vomit. But apart from that I’m doubtful.

I went to a crap state mixed comprehensive. We were lucky if we had the same teacher for longer than a few terms, kids had many issues all the time, set school on fire, huge class sizes etc etc. But I had fantastic parental support which made all the difference. I was confident, accomplished and happy - despite the shit school. I didn’t even know it was, at the time.

So my children understand social realities and understand how I’m sending them to private school. Because I can. Facilities are better, class sizes smaller. Do more sport (and more drama etc).

The politicians fcked the curriculum years ago. Not enough sport / drama especially - these things aren’t expensive (music can be). They really do give confidence to children.

If a child has parents who do not support him / her, it doesn’t really matter what school they go to.

I agree.

I work in a profession that is largely privately educated. I am in the minority being state educated and people are often surprised if ever it comes up in conversation (which it does as occasionally we do equality questionnaire to gather this info for our regulatory body).

I find that privately educated people struggle to relate to people who aren’t as fortunate as them and actually struggle to engage in conversation about mundane things at a low level.

Why you so desperate to prove your better than the average MNer?

I've been to both. (Decades ago so could of changed)

Education was exactly the same. Same standards, same extra curricular options.

Just in private school it was pretty much the same people, wasn't much diversity. Which for me was awful, as if you obviously didn't fit in, bullying was quite rife.

But the parents have more money. So polished = new clothes, no hand me downs ect, can pay for extra tuition and tutors. Usually went on holidays, travelling often skiing. So it was the parents that really enabled it. You also could get into better uni/college/jobs. They would do references, work experience was usually through the parents in solicitors office ect

I mean one summer when i was in state, summer was playing in park. One summer in private a friend took me to their second home and we spent it on a yacht.