When did 50/50 become so common?

Oh come on, some do. My ex husband was one of them. He was gloating that I wouldn’t get a penny of his Money if he did.

The woman he left me for put her foot down and didn’t want ds living with them half the time.

I’ve had friends where the same situation has occurred, the father wanted 50/50 so they didn’t have to pay maintenance but then actually couldn’t hack it and it only lasted a few months.

@Howbizarre22 I didn't provide either of my children's food. Their dad and I bought them Aptamil. And we both had equal cuddles with them when they were babies. So who are they bonded with more according to your theory?

Years of scientific research into the biology of the bond between mother and child? About as factual as you can get I’d say.

I’m not disputing that fathers have a bond with the child- I’m just stating that there is naturally a powerful bond between mother and child after birth due to hormones such as oxytocin which ensures survival and protection of the child.

Pity people calling it a snake pit (or nest of vipers) don't read the answers which are overwhelmingly of the "give your head a wobble" variety

We had my SC EOW and one night in the week. My DH pays his ex a lot of maintenance, way more than CMS. We now have SC 50/50 and he still pays ex the same amount of money. He just wanted to see his children more and they wanted to see him. And no, we don’t have loads of money, in fact we’ve been through a roughy time financially but other things would give before his support for the kids

OP you are being obtuse. It's clear the poster meant your current OH and his contact with his son, they just confused. Does he not want more? Is he happy only seeing his son EOW? genuinely curious but did that not give you pause before having your own children with this man? Did it not make you wonder if he'd be a good father if he's perfectly happy with 4 days a month?

I don't have this arrangement. We split a long time ago but I was devastated when he left and my heart would just have broken if he had taken my children for half the week too!! It absolutely wouldn't have been the best for our children and I'm very thankful that both of us could see that and we came to a different arrangement. I have noticed it is very popular now and if it works that's great. I do wonder how well it will work when the children are older though.
I should say though that we don't do EOW. This also seems unbelievably cruel to a father and children who need to see each other far more than this in my opinion.

Of course. But the bond is stronger as mother’s body provides the food for survival. I absolutely do not deny connection with the father & child I’m just pointing out that it’s biologically a stronger bond with the mother and child. As course as the child grows up that could change.

I honestly do not know anyone out of my entire circle of friends or in all the men that I work with where the man has his children 50/50.
Far more common is the man not turning up to collect the children on his days, bitching and moaning about paying “her”, cancelling weekends because they are on a lads weekend etc. And that has been my experience for more than 20 years, I’ve never seen it change. I do think it would be far better for the children if the fathers took a more active role though.

I don’t know of any EOW arrangements amongst split/divorced couples I know. It’s either 50/50 or the dad’s see the children every weekend. All the dads miss their children terribly too when they aren’t with them.

And as an adult,that no where feels like home feeling has stayed with me ,.being shunted from one house to another regularly,has left me feeling like I don't belong anywhere,like there isn't a place in the world forme ..
I just feel permanently like I don't belong,like a fish out of water ,and it was very very hard trying to settle down as an adult..

Misread 🤭 but either way my point still stands 🤷‍♀️ it’s not a good thing to deprive children a meaningful relationship with their dad, EOW isn’t going to cut it really.

This. I understand the intention- it’s fair 50/50 o terms of seeing both parents however I believe it is unsettling for the child to not have one base.

In the right circumstances it's great. I'm 50/50 with my daughter's dad. Tbh I really didn't want it at first but had no grounds to fight it as he's an awesome dad. Now she's coming up to 15 and I'm so so thankful we did it. She has a brilliant relationship with us both and us with each other (me and her dad). It's good that it's become more common but in the right circumstances.

My dil has 50/50 with her eldest ds. They split when he was a baby and the ex has remained a constant in their lives. Dil had severe post natal depression and really struggled to cope. They all get on really well and live close by. He doesn’t pay cm, why would he.

@Howbizarre22 you do know the same Oxytocin is also released when bonding with their fathers …

edit : autocorrected 🤦‍♀️

Actually they are bonded to their mother through pregnancy & Brest feeding & cuddles as an infant, it’s essential to their survival. Hormones like oxytocin -the bonding hormone- have been found to play a role in both parent and child and their connection. It’s certainly not one sided.

My situation was ,I had to steal a lot of things I needed as both parents were assuming / demanding the other provided it
I remember neither of them buying me bras and managing in ripped to small ones for a long time .
I remember not having money for sanitary products, because it didn't occur to my dad I would need them and my mum assumed he was buying them ,or she just didn't give it a thought.
I didn't even have anything like the correct school uniform,they were just locked in their battle ,and I was just forgotten.
Birthdays they just assumed the other parent was doing the majority work .
Absolutely no where felt like home .

@Luckylooloostar not only do I feel bad for your ex, I feel bad for your children. What a strange attitude to have. The courts recognise the importance of having a relationship with both mum and dad these days, luckily.

Your thinking doesn't make sense if men are doing 50/50, to.avoid paying CMS ,so are women

Passive aggression is still aggression. I came on here to state what I believe- and I said “call me old fashioned & sexist but…” meaning- you can think that all you like doesn’t mean it’s true and btw I’m certainly am not calling myself that.