To want my husband to say something about MIL's comments

I think people are over complicating things with the financial matters, pre nup etc.
Loads of PILs act like this, with or without money, gifts etc! It seems you just mentioned those in a 'should I just shut up and be grateful' way?

It is possible to minimise the impact of her constant badgering, but you have to believe on a deep level that her judgment is meaningless to you. It is really not about you, or anyone else. She sounds like she feels very small inside and needs to be the best in every situation. There are techniques you can learn, but the greatest peace will come when her words lose their power over you.

Watching your husband pander to her might be harder to get over, and is trickier to deal with. It's normal that you want his support. I guess you could try and unpick what he fears would happen if he supported you instead of his mum?

Also, perhaps you don't have to go on the holidays! She will never be content with you, so you may as well actually displease her by doing what you want I.e. not going.

Your MIL treats you and your h like children because you take her financial support like you are children.
She’s very annoying but for a free house and other threats, I’d be sucking it up.

Yes, she can!
why are so many people on this thread telling the OP to put up or shut up?

Sorry OP but from this holiday example your DH sounds like a pretty shitty dad and husband. Barely spending anh time with his kids and not concerned you might need a break or adult company. Sounds like MIL also doesn't care about doing much eith her grandkids.
You need to just say to your DH that these "holidays" are not holidays at all, just hard work running after the kids and being essentially abandoned by him. Tell him next time he can either go alone or with the girls - but that you are not joining.

This. I’d have not taken the financial help tbh. By taking all the gifts and financial support it’ll be harder to cut them out.

Exactly, the OP has lots of choices, instead she comes here crying wolf.
If it's such a problem, tell your DH to either cut the Strings off mummy's apron or you'll be walking away.
You have your own bloody house + inheritance, you are able to get a job and book a nursery for your kids... Sorted.
Really comes down to what's important to you. Your DH obviously only cares about the $$$$ signs mummy can give. He has a wife and children but would rather live like a child still!

Tell her to shut up, you don’t want to hear it. Or just stop listening, change the subject, leave the room, Answer any negatives comments with “That doesn’t work for us”. Really! you think hours in the sun without skin protection is a good idea?“
DD loved the museum, she was very enthusiastic about it, she learned such a lot. More tea MIL?
The comments about the child’s name would have been met with “That’s rude and uncalled for”
She’s too involved because you’re allowing it. Be less available, tell her less, she doesn’t need to know your itinerary.
Don’t let DH hide behind a book and his mother’s skirts on holiday, the kids have two parents, make sure he spends as much time with them as you do. Be assertive.

@danialan You say 'But I don't want to have the comments.'

Sadly you can't do anything about them. You can't control her or what comes out of her mouth. Nor can you control your husband's reaction to her comments. All you can control is you.

instead of stressing about how to change her or your DH, start thinking about you. Why does the opinion of someone who doesn't even live with you matter so much to you? Why do you care that her parenting style is different to you? Has it occurred to you that your DH might actually agree with some of the things she says and that's why he follows through on some of her suggestions?

It seems to me that you and your MIL are both used to getting your own way and both find it difficult when other people disagree with them.

And as PP have said - pre-nups are not legally binding in the U.K. Once you are legally married the marriage contract makes any previous contracts null and void. A court may take them into account as a statement of intent but they aren't legally binding. Not that it's particularly relevant as you don't seem to be thinking of separating.

You can't really have both

You what, you don’t have yo go on a holiday you don’t enjoy. Don’t go. Your husband is free to go if he wants to, and take the kids. You can enjoy some ‘me’ time.

Then you have a husband problem, not a MIL problem. You have a house that you own outright and inheritance money - your husband works. You could live a comfortable life without the handouts from his mother. If that is more important to him than your happiness and being independent, your husband is the problem.

I'm going against the grain. Gifts even as big as houses shouldn't come with the caveat of "I will be a prick to you as much as I like". Is there a sliding scale? If I give a friend a £1000 handbag for Xmas can I call her a cunt for a month?

Your husband sounds like a fucking drip tho. He's more interested in lavish gifts than sticking up for his wife and removing himself from his mother's teat. Ick.

You have a DH problem

This pretty much sums it up.
You even worded it as 'she gifts us nice things' when actually you appear to live mortgage free in a house she gifted you to live in. A nice handbag is a nice thing to be gifted. Giving a house a little more than that I'd say.

Someone, who may be American, using an American English term, that has increasingly been adopted by speakers of British English, does not mean that the information given is incorrect.

Solicitors are governed by strict professional standards, and they’re not going to leave themselves open to litigation and/or ruin their careers and reputations by providing false information. Well, some will, but not ones accredited with Lexcel.

Enjoy the handouts and let her have her say - learn some techniques to stop it bothering you. Just learn to smile and nod.

Don’t want to derail but have to say that I wouldn’t trust any uk law firm that used the word ‘gotten’ to write anything that is binding in a British court. 😬

@danialan so many PPs have said it… you have a DH problem. So you need to decide how you want to live. You can tolerate the snipes, comments, overstepping and self-indulgence of your MiL in return for a quiet life with your DH. Or you can tell your DH you won’t tolerate it: stop going on the holidays, walk out of MiL’s house if she annoys you, tell her that you will ask for her opinion if you want it. If you don’t care about the gifts, you have nothing to lose, and you might get your husband back. And if he going to continue to choose his mummy over his wife, you are better off knowing asap.

Good advice. You are not obligated by MIL gifts to put up with behaviours that make you unhappy. But if your DH won't call it out that doesn't preclude your doing so, just be measured and constructive. You might get an emotional overreaction but so long as you stand your ground and stay calm and reasonable (this bit is essential) it will blow over and she might even have more respect for you.

You can't have your cake and eat it too OP.
The only way this would work is if you have or develop a thick skin.

When she says do you not care, you say, you're right about falls being dangerous but I also care about her developing her muscles and a fall is part of growing up, its about balance.
She'll soon tire.

That and ignoring most comments.

There are ways of putting people in their place without being confrontational or aggressive.

Your MIL sounds really annoying. A few thoughts: If your children are over 8 ish, get a job and some financial independence. Your MIL has the purse strings so she has the power.

Stop accepting the phone calls, just let them go to voicemail. Ring back in the evening when you have time.
Take your own children on holiday to your chosen location.

how are you more upset by her comments rather than your husbands behaviour?

You haven't signed a contract to say she pays and you accept her criticism. You can deal with her criticism in whatever way you want, if she stops paying, that's up to her. This may cause problems with your husband, but then your argument is with him surely!

So you knew this and still chose this life? People do things because there's a payoff for them. Yours seems to be a house and staying at home.

Obviously MIL can see that you are a leach. And she likes the power over the little boy who will never be successful enough to afford what she can give him. Given that you have only got a flat due to inheritance....

I once made the mistake of taking money from my parents (DF had a life limiting illness and want to give some money while he was still compis mentis). Taking it was the greatest mistake I ever made once DF became too ill to intervene DM used it as a stick to beat me. I put up with it for DF's sake but since his death have distanced myself from DM and refused any more gifts. I suggest you do the same. Life will be better for it.