DH always really angry when I'm unwell?

He sees you as a household appliance that is no longer functioning.

Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were explaining NAMALT.
😁

Bo**ocks. Most are.

Why do they behave like this?
Because they are major d*ckheads.
I'm sorry, OP. It's tough when you don't feel well
and have kids to look after.
My husband is a bit slow to react, but doesn't get angry. Mind you, there are three decades age difference between us.😊
Next time your husband is unwell, behave the same way.
☕💐

OP have you made attempts to speak to him about his behaviour and its impact on you and subsequently your marriage? If so how did he respond?

I hope you feel better! You are more than entitled to a day under a blanket when you feel like shit! The very least he can do is not be an absolute arse about it!

OP I would recommend the Freedom Programme run by women's aid. You are deeply confused to the extent that you feel insane. That's part of the abuse and deeply damaging.

My ex would be abusive in the way you detail but then claim he loved me and was one of the good guys. The behaviour and words contradicted each other. Mind fuck.

I only say I love someone if I actually do. He says he loves someone to manipulate.

I used to hope he would have an affair and leave me (in reality he had affairs but stayed) because I knew I didn't love him but felt trapped. I didn't know how to leave him without provoking anger - x 100 to when I was too sick to perform my duties.

Then I hoped I would die. I even tried to exacerbate my death it felt so worthless. Then I thought about my kids. Then I did the FP. Then I left him.

He still is upset that I chose to leave him (for no reason) and thinks it's sad. It's all my fault because I didn't love him and he is the victim. I am dancing with joy.

He also ruins any special event like DDs birthday/nights out - anything that's not about him really.

Why are you still with him? Your poor dc.

Typical narc behaviour. You are no use to him when you are sick and he resents having to step up. Hes a horrible
Hope you get better soon x

I don't usually like to say my husband isn't like this, because it can sound like bragging and does nothing but make the OP feel worse. However in this instance I think OP, and those other posters whose husbands are the same, need to know, that NO not all men are like this at all.

My DH has his faults, of course, but when I am ill he takes exceptional care of me, and makes sure that I get all the rest I need. He will make food just for me and for us all, set me up with things to watch if I'm awake, go to the shop and buy me little things that he thinks might help me to get better. Such as - nice juices, hot and sour soup, any medication that we don't have in etc. He will periodically check in on me throughout the day. He will take over any cleaning that still needs to be done, and doesn't expect anything of me until I am better.

So no not all men are selfish arseholes when their wife is sick. Please think seriously on how he treats you, because as we get older we are only going to become sick more frequent.

Big hugs OP.

Thank you so much

Thank you

Not all men are like this :)

"The hashtag #NotAllMen is a feminist Internet meme. A shortening of the phrase "not all men are like that", sometimes abbreviated "NAMALT", it is a satirical parody of arguments used to deflect attention away from men in discussions of sexual assault, the gender pay gap, and other feminist issues."

“Not all men are like that.”

What is NAMLT? Sorry to bother you, but I'm curious to find out

You said no sex for 2 months you are hoping he meets someone else and leaves

Really?

Leave him. He sounds awful.

He behaves this way every single time I'm unwell or he deems I don't tidy properly etc. I actually work full time however this is my allocated day off this week. He also ruins any special event like DDs birthday/nights out - anything that's not about him really.

Narcissist who genuinely can't stand it when it isn't all about him.

You do have him sussed, you're not wrong, and now you need to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like this. And allowing him to model this behaviour to your children full time.

I wouldn't.

He’s acting like this because he sees looking after the children as your job and you should be doing it and because you aren’t he begrudges you.

remind him that you are both joint parents and when one happens to be ill the other pulls the extra weight! Tell that man baby to grow the hell up.

I also selfishly don't want to have to send the kids to him as I know they wouldn't want to go.

Don't unintentionally use this as an excuse to stay. The high statistics that show women as main parent shows men like this hardly want to have their dc after divorce.

Your thread title is very wrong.... it's not just when you're unwell, it's all the time!

Honestly? Time for a brutal talk and see if he can change...

Yes it is abusive. Stop denying your intuition and lying to yourself. You cant understand his behavior because you are trying to excuse it as normal/loving/husbandly. Its horribly cruel. And its totally predictable. This is who he is.

His skivvy is malfunctioning and he doesn't like it. please have some self-respect and get away. You and your children don't deserve this and I can guarantee that they have not been shielded from any of it and every day you stay is damaging them further.

His service animal is out of service. That's why.

That's the plan (script)

Most men don't behave like that, it's abusive, he doesn't do it in front of the kids because he knows it's abusive