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DH always really angry when I'm unwell?

242 replies

Ohffffssssss · 28/02/2024 13:25

Hi, been married to DH for 14 years, 2 primary age DC. I have chills, a fever, and my whole body is aching. Probably just a cold but I feel terrible. I am usually stoic & just get on with things but since DC are at school (dressed, fed & taken by me) I've decided to lie on the couch under a few blankets & try to stop the shivering. DH is a nightshift worker so to avoid waking him I only dome a quick clean with bleach etc & didn't do the dishes or hoover. I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee but too poorly so cancelled. Since he got up he has looked at me with absolute disgust, not asked if I'm okay or even cracked a smile. Instead he came storming in to tell me had a nosebleed. I'll admit I was less than enthusiastic but said oh that's wierd. He has then starting throwing things around, swearing, throwing DCs shoes in their rooms & told me our hoover is fucking useless. Why do some men behave like this!? Its made me so uncomfortable I genuinely nearly cried. He behaves this way every single time I'm unwell or he deems I don't tidy properly etc. I actually work full time however this is my allocated day off this week. He also ruins any special event like DDs birthday/nights out - anything that's not about him really. If I felt better I would just leave in the car but I can hardly even stand up. So upset & confused by this repeated behaviour.

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 28/02/2024 19:32

Hun he's abusive. Seriously

feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:32

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BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 28/02/2024 19:30

He is a narcissist who cannot stand that you may actually take attention away from him been the main focus of your life. Just ignore him and try to relax. He is acting like a child and when you are feeling better you tell him that if he ever behaves like this again his bag will be packed and he can leave for good. If I were you I would be planning to break up with him and get paperwork in order as this is not a life you need to be living and if he wants the place cleaned to his standard then let him do it. Hope you feel better soon.

Rubbishconfession · 28/02/2024 19:28

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Get a grip.

AngryBookworm · 28/02/2024 19:27

Leave, and don't look back. It's not so much the anger itself that's a red flag as all the patterns of behaviour around it: moods that everyone has to tiptoe around, being a dick and then plastering a smile on, being unable to be around the family without making things intolerable. Children look at what we do much more than listening to what we tell them. You'd tell them not to tolerate being treated like that, but if you stay with him, you're teaching them a totally different, and wrong, lesson.

feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:26

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feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:25

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MummyJ36 · 28/02/2024 19:24

OP why are you putting you are your DC through this? I grew up with someone like this and believe me, your children are on edge and drained by it too.

feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:24

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Rubbishconfession · 28/02/2024 19:23

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So you admit your post was redundant. Spare us.

Rubbishconfession · 28/02/2024 19:22

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Another incisive comment...well done 😎

feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:21

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feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:21

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Rubbishconfession · 28/02/2024 19:21

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You seem to lack comprehension of the word 'maybe'.

feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:21

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Rubbishconfession · 28/02/2024 19:20

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How insightful. The thread wasn't compete without your illuminating contribution.

Grow up.

feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:19

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mydrivingisterrible · 28/02/2024 19:19

Why do some men behave like this!?

What men? Currently only your DH I think.........

unsync · 28/02/2024 19:19

Don't wait until your children are older. The longer you wait, the more damage is done. Do yourself and them a kindness and make plans to leave sooner rather than later.

feedbackhq · 28/02/2024 19:18

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SemperIdem · 28/02/2024 19:18

He is a cunt.

Rubbishconfession · 28/02/2024 19:17

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It depends...men seem to think they can stop doing all housework and childcare when they get sick, whereas women often still have to get on with it. See the thread 'what was your glass by the dishwater moment' thread, so many abusive men.

Maybe @DaftFlerken is angry at some double standards.

TheolderIgetthelessIknow · 28/02/2024 19:17

Oh bless you, you poor love. Hope you start feeling better soon. And when you are, have a good long think about whether you want to stay with this man who clearly only cares for himself and his own comfort. Sadly, there's a pattern of behaviour here that I don't think will change. He sounds like a spoilt brat...sorry. xxx

ScreamingBeans · 28/02/2024 19:13

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No it's perfectly understandable.

She's not a loved one. She's a support human for his life. When she's ill, she's not doing her job of supporting him and his life. Hence his rage.

ScreamingBeans · 28/02/2024 19:11

He doesn't love you.
Leave him