Do you like being a parent?

In all honesty I don’t always love being a parent. I love the children , spending time with them etc.

i don’t love the hamster wheel feeling of lunchboxes, laundry, keeping on top of house and school admin etc - which seems to grow 10 fold with Children. I also don’t love the impact it’s had on my career/ earning potential but I’ve made my choices on that one.

Also the couple of child free friends I have who are my age have more freedom etc. but actually they spend their time working etc and dont seem super fulfilled.

I wouldn’t send them back or undo it if I could- it’s relentless, tiring and a lot of the time really repetitive and boring. But they make me proud every day. Spending quality time with them is lush. And they have helped me out things on perspective (the things that bothered me pre children aren’t even on my radar nowadays).

Yes but i had PND and very little support so hated the first year. My DC are the best thing ever.

I’ve merely said from my experience the only people I know in real life who actively enjoy parenting (more so than not being a parent) are those who needed something in their lives to love.

I do love my DD but knowing what I know now if I was forced back in time would I have continued the pregnancy, or sunk loads of money into IVF I don’t know if I would.

It’s weird this is so confusing for you or hard for you to understand, emotional intelligence doesn’t seem to be your strong point

I had a really whole fulfilled life before children. I was 37 and my child was very longed for. Honestly it is THE BEST decision I ever made and my child gives me a sence of purpose that is unlike any other. Hard HARD work. But theres parts of my life that I wouldnt have been able to get through if it wasnt the thought of them needing me. Its individual tho. Not everyone will feel the same. You'll find a new normal and new wants and excitements . Youll probably look back and realise the stuff you thought youd miss wasnt even a consideration. But really only Youll kmow what your decision should be. Be brave either way and good luck Xx

I have found being a Mum absolutely wonderful, it is one of the best adventures in life and I wouldn't change any of it. My kids are 17, 15 and 10 now - I had my first at 27 - and I have no regrets.

It's hard work and the early years are pretty tough! But yes I love it. Best thing I've ever done. I had mine in my late 30s and I do wish I'd had them at your age.
Ok, so maybe your friends don't have kids yet but just think - when you're in you're 40s your child will be independent and you'll be living that carefree life again. Your friends might have kids in their late 30s and will envy you your freedom in your 40s! From my experience of having kids late, I do think it's better to have them younger. You're not super young anyway.

I love it. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me but...

I was 34, had lived a good life and had been with my husband for over ten years. I don't feel like I have missed out on anything - done lots of travel etc.

I don't think I would have felt the same at 26.

It’s not been a bed of roses as my little one was premature and in ICU for a very long time but since getting home and in the swing of things I couldn’t love anything more. I still do the same job part-time - I will say I don’t feel like I do the job anywhere near as well as I used to - but I also have other things to worry about so I don’t fret about it so much. I turn up to work and go home like many others do. My house used to be pristine. Now it’s a tip 75% of the time 😂

Of course there are rough times, lack of sleep is horrific but you kind of get used to it. For me though the love and amazement I feel when I wake up to his little smile and see him learning new things outweighs everything. I don’t regret it in the slightest.

I love it. It's the best thing ever. We still do loads of fun stuff. Our relationship is better than ever. My son is hilarious (2 years old). I feel like I was massively undersold parenthood

I’m astonished someone could say they love their daughter to bits and in the next breath say they aren’t sure they wouldn’t have aborted if they could go back in time. Some love!

i find it sad for your poor child you feel this way about them and think only people with crap lives beforehand enjoy parenting now (!)

that’s not to say it’s not extremely hard but if your child doesn’t ‘add anything’ to your life and only takes away from it, then you are right you probably shouldn’t have ever had kids. I guess comes down to how narcissistic / self involved you are. It takes huge self awareness to know you’re that type of person and I applaud those people for not having kids because those who resent their kids or see them as an impediment to their fun; your kids will sense it.

I've got a 5yo, he is my world. I love being his mum. I love hanging out with him. It's hard but the positives so outweigh the negatives in my experience.

But I was 37 when I had him and I'd had a brilliant time enjoying life before that. I was ready, and financially able, to accept a slower pace of life that comes with having a child. I don't think I would have had a child in my twenties.

The next minute I think about my care free life right now and lack of responsibilities and think that I can't do it. I see those my age who have children and it makes me feel quite down thinking that it could be me having to do children activities and not being able to do what I want.

I felt exactly like that while pregnant in my late 30s, although the pregnancy was very much planned and longed for. It was just fear of change for me. Things do change but in many cases they change for the better or you don't mind because you love your child so much.

Becoming a mum is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

This is exactly what I feel. Also, mine are teenagers now and I feel that when the difficulties start, worrying about them and can't see it ended.

I could never take a promotion in work because childcare always seems to fall on the mother

What’s sad about the truth?

Speaking to new parents irl the only ones who actively enjoy being a parent are those whose lives were a bit crap before having children. Thankfully irl people are more honest I find and not fully in the sunshine and rainbows

What does the father think?

I find it very hard. I was 32 when I had my (only) daughter and it knocked me for six. I missed my old life so much. I still do a bit. The lack of freedom, lack of sleep, change to relationship, routines, worrying about childcare, is tough.

I'm 6 years down the road. I love my daughter to pieces and she is my best friend now but it wasn't always that way. I've grown to accept and understand my new life.

Do you have a partner and maybe parents that would be involved? This would help massively.
My parents aren't interested and my partner has never been very helpful. If I'd had these I might tell a different story.

At 26 I wouldn't have been ready to be a mum, not that I ever was. There are options open to you.
Good luck with your decision x

I love it and wouldn't change it for the world, but the first few years were hard, having a baby and a toddler was a challenge, but so nice now they're older and they get on really well. They're both school age, so not dependent on me 24/7, and are easy kids, compared to some of the others I know so that definitely helps! Dh is very hands on, senses when I need a break, and just takes over no questions, suggests I take some time out etc, he's always been a fab dad, and I am lucky to parent with such a patient, kind man. I would have struggled without the support network I have, family, and friends have been crucial. But those relationships have changed, my best friends now are certainly not the people I knew pre kids. The friends I've met through having children are friends for life, they have made such a huge difference in how life is with kids, without them it could be really lonely, so my advice would be to really try and form relationships with other mums who are going through the same things as you are. Be that at antenatal classes, baby groups, school gates. Good luck op

How sad

I do but I was 35 when I had my son. I wouldn't have felt that way at 26.

I didnt plan to have kids then suddenly wanted them . loved the baby stage amd toddler stage and teen stage and now have amazing adult dc.
so proud of them.
however - i am a worrier and i found it hard to see them when they struggled - like if friends had had a fall out, exam nerves, them going abroad alone first time, split up from boyfriends etc- i took it all to heart and found it really hard when they were sad . Its like you lose your heart to me . When they are happy
am so full of joy- but when they have hard times i have hard times.

I have 2 boys and I love it, even on the hardest days/sleepless nights I've never regretted anything. Having a good support system makes the world of difference, my husband is brilliant and my parents are close by and always happy to help out.

Being a parent is wonderful in my experience, but it would not have been that way had I had a baby at 26, and were I not in a great long-term relationship with the other parent.

The love I have for my daughter outweighs absolutely anything and everything in this world. I love being HER parent.
But I'm not typically a 'baby person' and couldn't really care much about other kids 😬 I don't really know what to do with them. But with my daughter it's instinct and so so different.
I am her world and her everything, and this melts my heart.

I have really liked being a parent (my dc are teenagers now), but I had my first when I was 34. I certainly would not have been ready to have a child at 26.

Pregnancy was fine (exciting the first time around). Childbirth was awful. Being a parent has been almost entirely lovely. I had pretty bad post-natal healty anxiety for a while (relating to a problem with my own health), but I never really found parenting hard. I was very lucky though- I had two easy dc who were good sleepers.

In all honesty it’s a bit like throwing a hand grenade into your life! I was 20 when had my first and not prepared, it was a big shock but I did manage to adjust. I must admit I was envious of my child free friends. Go with your gut feeling and don’t let anyone else influence your decision.